I've decided to do a makeover on myself, spiritually, physically and mentally. I am taking up meditation, trying to be less judgemental, apologizing for things I have done, eating healthier and trying to be a better person. I am completely sincere in these things, or at least I am going to try to be. I almost expect to be ridiculed for this revelation in my life, but I feel I needed a change. I need clarity, and I need peace.
I have been here for almost three years and wallowed in quasi-obscurity. What you are about to hear is going to ruin any reputation I ever had, but I have done a disservice to all of you, and feel the need to say what needs to be said.
There is no Nikki. There is no Elly or Elspeth. I am Ian Wilson, I am 16 years old and live in Council Bluffs, Iowa. I work at a movie theatre as an usher and have a girlfriend named Rebecca. All the pictures, save for one, that you have seen of "Nikki" are of a person I don't know. The persona I created is an elaborate hoax, and it's surprising to me no one saw through it earlier. Many of the things that happened are true, my grandfather is in horrible condition, my girlfriend's grandma has passed away, and I do have severe money problems. I only created this person to make myself feel better about everything.
I hid my horrible self esteem behind the mask of a fake person, of someone who was the ideal me. Had the ideal girlfriend, and the ideal life. This is a person I am not.
I am shaking horribly as I type this, for I have debated for a long time whether or not to post this, but, as I said earlier, I must.
Reading these things makes me think of all of the emotion you fine people have wasted on me. Anyone who expressed concerns about fake things going on in my life, I apologize. I mislead you and played on your feelings. I deserve nothing. I do not even deserve forgiveness.
I will continue to at least read the boards, I hope, for they keep me informed of pop culture and games, but also, the lives of people I consider friends.
I don't think there's anything else I want to say right now. So, take this as it is.
Delidgamond fucked around with this message on 06-08-2004 at 01:55 AM.
(Note 1: I'm suprised about this, I had no clue. 
)
(Note 2: I freakin' suck at making posts like these, and saying things like this in real life, so if it seems insulting, I'm honestly not trying to be. 
)
Edit: I don't really get why you made up a girlfriend if you had a girlfriend. Unless the real girlfriend came later or something. *shrug* Zair fucked around with this message on 06-08-2004 at 02:09 AM.
It's not something people hear about.
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Trent had this to say about Optimus Prime:
And.. some of us, never really bothered to care.
Exactly. Personally, I try to be as truthful as possible, but the way I see it, you can pretend to be whatever you want online. Tell us about your real self or make something up, doesn't really matter as long as:
1) You don't act like an ass
2) You don't use a fake story to try to get money out of people.
That being said, it is easier, stress wise, just to tell the truth than it is to constantly try to keep track of what your persona would do, isntead of you.
So, hopefully, you will be a little more at ease now that you have this off your chest, and don't have to fake things anymore
BTW, OP, I knew from the start because you managed to trip off one of the "unannounced alt account" warning flags on the forum. There are a couple others around here that are still firmly in the closest, you know.
WHAT..
THE..
FUCK..
YO..
??
quote:
Drysart stopped staring at Deedlit long enough to write:
BTW, OP, I knew from the start because you managed to trip off one of the "unannounced alt account" warning flags on the forum. There are a couple others around here that are still firmly in the closest, you know.
Yeah. While we're at it... I was really Emily. All those sexy pictures "she" posted were really me.
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Drysart likes the cock and also said this;
BTW, OP, I knew from the start because you managed to trip off one of the "unannounced alt account" warning flags on the forum. There are a couple others around here that are still firmly in the closest, you know.
quote:
One thousand monkies on one thousand typewriters would eventually write what Snoota said;
Yeah. While we're at it... I was really Emily.
Whoa post more guy. You're hot.
quote:
Drysart attempted to be funny by writing:
Guys I'm not really an elf from Felwithe.BTW, OP, I knew from the start because you managed to trip off one of the "unannounced alt account" warning flags on the forum. There are a couple others around here that are still firmly in the closest, you know.
Did I set that off when I made my Lashanna and Rosaline accounts?
It's not something people hear about.
that being said..
OP, it must have taken a lot coming forward with that.. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have my doubts, but it's cool that you trust us enough to come out and do the right thing. 
quote:
Delidgamond had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
Guys, I gotta tell you all. There are actually only two people on this forum.
Hey, except for that last part, you have a VERY promising career as a politician! Just don't do any drugs, kill any strippers, and be sure to serve in the military for a small stint, and you could be PRESIDENT!
And to be honest, I've done pretty much the same thing before. Actually, mine was probably worse...but it's hard to say. The point is we all get past it. And I think we all do it, too. 
No reason for me to be angry though. Good luck to you.
It's not a huge deal, lots of people try make themselves look better on the internet, the vast majority of them just never admit it.
I'll just tack this on to the things I was right about.
quote:
How.... Mightion Defensor.... uughhhhhh:
Consider me one of those one hundred percent fooled.No reason for me to be angry though. Good luck to you.
Same here. Kinda burns that I offered my condolences on the rough situation, as well as congratulations on the wedding and the move.
Don't decieve me again, and I wont have to kill you.
I'm just glad you came clean about it. Honesty after embedding oneself so deep in a lie takes real moxy.
Why did I bother posting then? Because he seemed to want to know how we felt about it. *shrug*
quote:
Ragabash wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
*clears his throat* Let me be perfectly honest and say...I don't care. *tips his hat and wanders off*Why did I bother posting then? Because he seemed to want to know how we felt about it. *shrug*
In the future, just shut up.
There's nothing more stupid than people who make a point to say they're neutral or don't care or whatever just for attention.
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Mr. Parcelan impressed everyone with:
In the future, just shut up.There's nothing more stupid than people who make a point to say they're neutral or don't care or whatever just for attention.
It's not like he posted to say, "I don't care about such and such thing everybody's excited about, so I'm cool!"
He just wanted to let Ian know that he didn't care about the hoax. I'm sure every sentiment of neutrality or understanding, as opposed to offense, is comforting at a time like this.
I did this just for attention.
quote:
Mr. Parcelan had this to say about Reading Rainbow:
In the future, just shut up.There's nothing more stupid than people who make a point to say they're neutral or don't care or whatever just for attention.
Yes Parce, I am SUCH an attention whore. I spend hours a day making pointless threads to make myself known here and make my presence felt. How dare I think he might want to hear that I don't care that he did it. I should have only posted if I hated him for it. My bad on that one.
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It's ok, we all knew.
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And.. some of us, never really bothered to care.
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Why did I bother posting then? Because he seemed to want to know how we felt about it. *shrug*
That being said, it was fairly obvious just based on how you acted, reacted, and interacted with everyone around you. (Biggest one being, as I know people like me, Batty, and others, learn and catch on to tendancies in games. Your mannerisms, and actions were exactly the same no matter what name you were under.) I never cared enought to burst your bubble, or tear you down, except for any time a friend came to me feeling upset/mislead about something that was "supposedly" happening between the "two" of you. In which case I would flat out tell them otherwise, that best not to be mislead, and that most of it was more than likely a lie. In other words, If it ever became apparent that someone I knew was being affected by your deceptions, that was probably about the only time I was vocal about it. You never really pulled it off very well to begin with. Some just have more open hearts than others.
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nem-x, I am your father:
Figured it out after you posted a cosplay picture of "her" and I saw the same pic on a cosplay site with different info. Didn't really care to tell the boards since you didn't do nothing to me.
[xIMG]http://static.evercrest.com/forums/uimg/00002113-1083102843.GIF[/IMG]
quote:
Alidane got all f'ed up on Angel Dust and wrote:
And I happen to be one of them. Go me!
I'm the other.
