First off.. this movie has something for everyone. It has vampires.. it has cheesy special effects.. it has dubbed in audio and kung-fu.. it even has lesbians (and really.. they DO seem to populate in Canada, eh!).
The main idea of the movie is that daytime dwelling vampires (don't worry, they explain how that is possible) are attacking Ottawa's lesbian population. The Church, which was slow to react due to the sexual orientation of who was being attacked, finally calls in ol' J.C. for help. J.C. is found at the lake and manages to thwart three vampires, for now.
Before continuing on course, Jesus stops by to get a groovy new hair cut and his ears pierced. Way to go J.C.! Once picking up some wood for stakes J.C. runs into a Jeep full of Atheists which he easily defeats with his supreme kung-fu moves. And if THAT wasn't enough for you.. after he's done everyone breaks into a song and dance routine.
J.C. meets up with Mary Magnum who is an "apostle for the Apostle". She tells J.C. to ditch the robes look and with a new J.C., they take off to fight the vampires. They find out the wicked vampires plans, then confront them when they are found attacking lesbians at a drop-in center. But lo! Sexy Mary Magnum (who has a crush on the head female vampire) is converted to Vampirism.
A battered and bruised Jesus is taken in by a crossdresser (apparently another staple for Canada) then calls for more back-up in his trusty friend... Mexican wrestler EL SANTOS!
These vampires don't seem to be too powerful, though, despite their ability to go out in the sun. A mere blessing of a beer or an earlier meal of garlic is all J.C. needs to defeat most of them.
It looks like the end for ol J.C. when he has to rescue El Santos and his assistant Ms. Oddbottom and he is attacked by the vampires again but have no fear, our Savior comes through in a glorious show of martial arts and special effects.
The movie ends with a lovely song and dance to "everyone gets laid tonight".
I won't go into further detail on the movie, you're just going to have to see it on your own. But it is definitely an awesome movie.
It didn't get a great review, but the premise of the movie alone is enough to warrant renting it.
It's got something for everyone! Bummey the Fool fucked around with this message on 04-15-2004 at 12:00 PM.
