Why are all Tolkein villains such pussies?

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Topic: Why are all Tolkein villains such pussies?

Sakkra

Office Linebacker

posted 01-31-2004 11:08:34 PM

I mean, Smaug was felled by a single arrow.
Sauron was defeated by a human lopping of his finger with a half-sword.
Minas-Morgul (sp?) was beaten by a princess with little combat experience.

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Ruvyen

Cartoon Broccoli Boy

posted 01-31-2004 11:11:28 PM

Because Good is strong and brave, whereas evil is stupid.

Or somesuch philomosophical crap.

Thief: "I have come to a realisation. Dragons are not real in a general sense, but they may exist in certain specific cases."
Fighter: "Like how quantum mechanics describes how subatomic particles can spontaneously pop into existence at random!"
Thief: "No, that's stupid and stop making up words."
--8-Bit Theater

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Lashanna

noob

posted 01-31-2004 11:16:08 PM

Minas Morgul is a city.

You probably mean the Witch King.

Dad's going to kill you. Really. He is.

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Liam

Swims in Erotic Circles

posted 01-31-2004 11:18:51 PM

And Eowyn was the King's niece, which would not make her a princess. Her title was Sword Maiden or something.

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Sans Strider

Pancake

posted 01-31-2004 11:24:39 PM

Because good is dumb, and so it needs an edge.

"Oh," he had added, "and pray thee bless it (a hammer) as well...thou dost know, that one where it explodes undead most explosively and what-not, so that I might get my most righteous smite on."
-Lodur the Brave

Don't ruin my perfectly good idiocy with your damn logic.

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Random Insanity Generator

Condom Ninja El Supremo

posted 01-31-2004 11:29:47 PM

quote:
Liam attempted to be funny by writing:
And Eowyn was the King's niece, which would not make her a princess. Her title was Sword Maiden or something.

Shield Maiden of Rohan.

* NullDevice kicks the server. "Floggings will continue until processing power improves!"
-----------------------------------
"That was black magic, and it was easy to use. Easy and fun. Like Legos." -- Harry Dresden
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That's what playing Ragnarok Online taught me: There's no problem in the universe that can't be resolved by the proper application of daggers to faces.

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Drysart

Pancake

posted 01-31-2004 11:32:56 PM

Tolkien never wrote about the part where they killed Iluvatar by zerg rushing him in a 4 hour raid.

Though I'm sure if he did, the battle would have been 400 pages long and punctuated by random poetry and songs.

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Sans Strider

Pancake

posted 01-31-2004 11:35:01 PM

quote:
We were all impressed when Drysart wrote:
Tolkien never wrote about the part where they killed Iluvatar by zerg rushing him in a 4 hour raid.
Though I'm sure if he did, the battle would have been 400 pages long and punctuated by random poetry and songs.

The evil villain here being some Korean kid shouting how he pwn'd a newb.

Don't ruin my perfectly good idiocy with your damn logic.

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Mog

not really a mmembe rof tis boered