After washing a patient's penis a nurse rubbed her eye and immediately went blind in both eyes. 
[ 01-10-2004: Message edited by: Freschel Spindrift ]
When a girl sits on a boy's lap, the boy must put a phone book on his lap so to prevent that girl to become pregnant.
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Kahuna Ryuu attempted to be funny by writing:
I learned from porn that all girls like in it the ass.
Karnaj once touched on true love.
"You'll know you have found the girl you were meant to be with if she agrees to anal."
Lets add a little more depravity to the thread. Do you ever wonder what position your parents were in when you were conceived? Did you ever ask them?
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KaLourin had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
None that I was aware of. My mother was of the belief that I'd "figure it out on my own sooner or later"
Lets add a little more depravity to the thread. Do you ever wonder what position your parents were in when you were conceived? Did you ever ask them?
*runs quickly out of the thread*
It doens't matter if my ears are virgin or not!!! AAHHHHHH I don't want to know
[ 01-10-2004: Message edited by: Shazorx / Modrakien ]
quote:
Aw, geez, I have King Parcelan all over myself!
Karnaj once touched on true love."You'll know you have found the girl you were meant to be with if she agrees to anal."
It sounds like something I'd say, but I don't remember saying it.
At any rate, I never heard any myths from my parents, but I do remember my hardcore Christian friend telling me that masturbation makes one's penis smaller. To which I naturally replied, "So that's your excuse now, huh?"
He thought I was talking about not masturbating.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
Told me that female masturbation can give you syphilis.
Also told me that if you have anal sex once, you will bleed continously out of your ass forever.
Told me if you have sex under the age of 20, your vagina will be stretched grotesquely and will never get back to normal.
I loved my great aunt 
.
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Cysa The Clown had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
My grandma told me once that masturbation causes the male penis to shrink.
As opposed to the female penis?
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When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Arttemis said:
As opposed to the female penis?
Maybe the idea is that it's OK for hermaphrodites to masturbate.
Disclaimer: I'm just kidding, I love all living things.
The fastest draw in the Crest.
"The Internet is MY critical thinking course." -Maradon
"Gambling for the husband, an abortion for the wife and fireworks for the kids they chose to keep? Fuck you, Disneyland. The Pine Ridge Indian Reservation is the happiest place on Earth." -JooJooFlop
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Gunslinger Moogle had this to say about (_|_):
Maybe the idea is that it's OK for hermaphrodites to masturbate.
hermaphrodites aren't going to get much action so they mights as well masturbate.
The funiest fucked up sex thing I heard is "Male masturbation makes the sperm die, that's like 3 or 4 half people dying" (from a 18-year-old no less)
When I asked if she know sperm died whether used or not, she replied "No it doesn't, how else can you get pregnent form your first time."
Another funny one "You know sex between two men doesn't hurt anyone, at least when my lover fucks me I can't get pregnant" I'd have to say he had a good point, I mean I wouldn't want more of him running around, would you?
Dad: "I hope you're not having sex."
Mom and Dad to brother: "Wear a condom."
[ 01-10-2004: Message edited by: Broadzilla ]
quote:
Broadzilla wrote this stupid crap:
Mom: "Never have sex."Dad: "I hope you're not having sex."
Mom and Dad to brother: "Wear a condom."
Reminds me a bit of what happened recently..
Historically:
Mom: Drinking is bad for you!
Dad: Don't drink, we made the mistake but that doesn't mean you should! (while slurping some wine)
After dad goes on the (no-alcohol) atkin's diet:
Dad: Here, have a hell of a lot of alcohol!
I swear rather than living through us he's drinking through us...
Disclaimer: I'm just kidding, I love all living things.
The fastest draw in the Crest.
"The Internet is MY critical thinking course." -Maradon
"Gambling for the husband, an abortion for the wife and fireworks for the kids they chose to keep? Fuck you, Disneyland. The Pine Ridge Indian Reservation is the happiest place on Earth." -JooJooFlop
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Niklas said this about your mom:
I swear rather than living through us he's drinking through us...
That's funny as hell
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Freschel Spindrift had this to say about Optimus Prime:
Not by my parents but by a nun in sex education class.After washing a patient's penis a nurse rubbed her eye and immediately went blind in both eyes.
When a girl sits on a boy's lap, the boy must put a phone book on his lap so to prevent that girl to become pregnant.
This is a joke, right?
"Don't get her pregnant."
I learned from Deth's pornos. 
quote:
When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Jajahotep said:
I learned from Deth's pornos.
The home made ones?
quote:
Jajahotep was listening to Cher while typing:
My parents never really told me anything about sex.
I learned from Deth's pornos.
This thread could get interesting. 
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ACES! Another post by Snoota:
The home made ones?
*shudder* No.. no..
Also said, fetch someone your own "size"... so that means I'd have to get a woman that's 6' or so, and about 200lb, Hey Bajah, mind If I steal Led*jk*?
Also said oral will give you warts on your face.
So far, none of these are true... unless the first one also includes Bi's.
"If man was not supposed to eat woman, then why does it look so much like a taco?"
"Show me a man that doesn't eat pussy and I'll steal his girlfriend"
"A good friend is one that goes downtown and gets 2 blowjobs, and gives you one"
"When I was your age I was fucking every round-heeled country bumpkin in Essex County"
I think I like that man.
No, Really. Bite me.
Me: Hey, how come I never got that speech?
Dad: We don't have to worry about you?
Me: Why cause I'm smart enough to know better?
Dad: No cause your boyfriends can't get pregnant.
Me: I don't have the gay though.
Dad: Well then beats me whats wrong with you.
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King Parcelan had this to say about John Romero:
"You'll know you have found the girl you were meant to be with if she agrees to anal."
First off, I have heard no such myths about sex. I learned about it from three sources. Friends, porn, and the internet. Second off, hey King Parcelan, were you joking, or being serious about this statement?
Im Rick James, bitch!!!!
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So quoth Cysa The Clown:
Interesting thing just now.
I walked in on my sister getting the "talk" now that she's dating.Me: Hey, how come I never got that speech?
Dad: We don't have to worry about you?
Me: Why cause I'm smart enough to know better?
Dad: No cause your boyfriends can't get pregnant.
Me: I don't have the gay though.
Dad: Well then beats me whats wrong with you.
Zing.
My dad got me real good one time. My friend and I were playing a game of pool, and the prize for the winner was (jokingly) the right to ask some girl out. I said something, and from the other room, my dad shouts, "You know, that sounds to me kind of like a dog chasing after a car."
I had no idea what he was talking about, so I shouted back, "What the heck are you talking about?"
"Even if he catches it, he still can't drive."
"Petting" with your girlfriend will get you pregnant, and the proof is in the panties. (if there's moisture, head to an abortion clinic, or so that's how I interpret it)
quote:
Azizza impressed everyone with:
This thread could get interesting.
I see it as proof positive that Emily, despite all her vehement claims over the years to the contrary, did in fact get into my locked bedroom at times and take things/rearrange them. It's one of those things where I knew it was happening, but the complete and utter denial of it over the years was maddening. And Jaja wonders why people are annoyed with the idea of having her stay in their houses for a while.
sorry Jaja...you dragged our household life into the thread, I'm just doing the same
As for your question, Kenn, I'd say the funny faces people make at the point of orgasm, mixed with the fact people play with themselves a lot, mixed with the whole "If you don't stop making that face, it'll freeze like that" myth people tell little kids could make for a humorous comic.
sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me
quote:
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael painfully thought these words up:
I see it as proof positive that Emily, despite all her vehement claims over the years to the contrary, did in fact get into my locked bedroom at times and take things/rearrange them. It's one of those things where I knew it was happening, but the complete and utter denial of it over the years was maddening. And Jaja wonders why people are annoyed with the idea of having her stay in their houses for a while.sorry Jaja...you dragged our household life into the thread, I'm just doing the same
As for your question, Kenn, I'd say the funny faces people make at the point of orgasm, mixed with the fact people play with themselves a lot, mixed with the whole "If you don't stop making that face, it'll freeze like that" myth people tell little kids could make for a humorous comic.
Kennatsu's two rusty gears in his head creak as they try to turn...
quote:
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael got all f'ed up on Angel Dust and wrote:
I see it as proof positive that Emily, despite all her vehement claims over the years to the contrary, did in fact get into my locked bedroom at times and take things/rearrange them. It's one of those things where I knew it was happening, but the complete and utter denial of it over the years was maddening. And Jaja wonders why people are annoyed with the idea of having her stay in their houses for a while.sorry Jaja...you dragged our household life into the thread, I'm just doing the same
Ah yes, that's right. What I did when I was 12 means I am exactly like that 10 years later. Way to grow up.
And for your information, the only porno of yours I ever got my hands on was not locked away in your room. [ 01-11-2004: Message edited by: Jajahotep ]
Jer-ry!
Jer-ry!
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
quote:
Bloodsage's fortune cookie read:
Jer-ry!Jer-ry!
Jer-ry!
You read my mind.
