Oh no, my mother was right! 
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Earl Vickers became the first person to translate the entire Bible into Pig Latin.
I'm such a failure.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
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By 18, Billy the Kid was charged with twelve murders.
Such a dismal failure.
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Albert Einstein wrote an essay containing the beginnings of the special theory of relativity. In it, Einstein showed that time and motion are relative to the observer.
fuck.
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After giving birth at age 8, Nigerian girl Mum-zi became a grandmother at 17.
...
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By eight weeks of age, Christian Friedrich Heinecken was speaking intelligible German. Many children can't even speak English at that age.
I Don't know why I even get out of bed every day 
Painter Salvador Dali smashed a fellow student's violin in an effort to demonstrate the supremacy of painting over music.
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After giving birth at age 8, Nigerian girl Mum-zi became a grandmother at 17.
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Everyone wondered WTF when diadem wrote:
Actully, looking at the trivial stuff it lists, it let me realise how much i did accomplish in my life in such a short amount of time.
Eh, yeah, most of the things listed were petty accomplisments.
man i suck.
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At age 32:Penniless and unemployed, Buckminster Fuller decided against suicide, resolving instead to live out the rest of his life as an experiment to see what one person could do to help humanity.
Alexander the Great conquered almost the entire known world.
Composer, conductor and painter E. T. A. Hoffmann began to write the tales for which he is now primarily remembered.
English artist and poet William Blake wrote Songs of Innocence, illustrated with Blake's water-colors.
Johann Rudolf Wyss wrote The Swiss Family Robinson.
English parson Thomas Robert Malthus wrote his "Essay on the Principles of Population."
I'm a complete failure 
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And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Kennatsu was all like:
I'm a complete failure
Hard to beat Alexander The Great I think he's got us all beaten.
Cincinnati resident Harold Berkshire graduated from high school.
At age 99:
Harold Mark Foster of Owensboro, KY, began learning to read.
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Peanut butter ass Shaq Terena Azal booooze lime pole over bench lick:
Such a dismal failure.
I thought you were up around 23 or so?
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Terena Azal wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
Such a dismal failure.
Yeah, me too 
.
Then again, if I, like, firebombed my school to get even, so many other people did it before me it wouldn't be special anymore.
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At age 1:Jazz drummer Bernard "Buddy" Rich first appeared in his parents' vaudeville act.
By this age, Christian Friedrich Heinecken had read the Pentateuch.
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Addy impressed everyone with:
...
wtf, Addy, get working, you have a lot of catching up to do, 
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Maradon! had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
I thought you were up around 23 or so?
No, I'll be 19 in November.
Alexander Graham Bell taught a stray Skye Terrier to talk; by training the dog to growl on cue and then manipulating his mouth and throat, Bell could make him produce the phonemes "ow, ah, ooh, ga, ma, ma," to say "How are you, Grandmama?"
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At Age 21:
College dropout Steven Jobs co-founded Apple Computer.
Bastard.
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Paccione got all f'ed up on Angel Dust and wrote:
Age 20Alexander Graham Bell taught a stray Skye Terrier to talk; by training the dog to growl on cue and then manipulating his mouth and throat, Bell could make him produce the phonemes "ow, ah, ooh, ga, ma, ma," to say "How are you, Grandmama?"
I wonder if I could do that with my dog?
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After giving birth at age 8, Nigerian girl Mum-zi became a grandmother at 17.
