In my 25 years I have dated my share of women. Not a lot but I have had a few serious relationships. And of course I have slept with many of these women.
I have never had a problem giving them pleasure. In other words I could always bring them to orgasm. Sure some were harder to please than others but that is just the way of things.
Imagine my suprise then when I find that the woman I love more than any other person on this earth and the woman I am going to marry, is also the first woman I have ever NOT been able to get off. I mean honestly. I understand that some women take a while but 90 minutes and her not even being close is kind of rediculous.
I hate to ask but:
Do any women here have this sort of problem?
Are any of you guys with a woman this bad?
Is it physical, phychological, a mix of both?
*sigh* Sorry to bring this kind of thing to the board but it is really starting to bug me.
And before anyone asks, yes she knows I am posting this. It bothers her as well and she wants to know what can be done.
.I've never had this issue, so I don't know what it could be. Sorry, man 
quote:
Warlord Darius said:
Bondage.
Well, kind of what I was going to say... sort of.
Find out what she really gets off on. It could be wacky, like fantasies of boinking a Roman soldier.. so dress up like a Roman soldier.
You get the idea.
She was extremely represessed until she met me. For the love of god she never even tried to get herself off till she was 21!!!!
Yay for Christian propoganda.
Sometimes if it's someone in particular that you really care about, you get nervous about 'what if I can't please him/her?' etc.
Just speculation.
96 Rock here plays 2 hours of Loveline every night. Over the past few years, Dr. Drew has taught me much about any and every sexual situation. Kinda.
Nevermind, already been asked, I guess. [ 09-04-2003: Message edited by: Emily ]
Should've said something, but I've said it enough
By the way my words were faded
Rather waste some time with you...
quote:
Lashanna wrote this stupid crap:
Are you ever nervous or anything?Sometimes if it's someone in particular that you really care about, you get nervous about 'what if I can't please him/her?' etc.
Just speculation.
96 Rock here plays 2 hours of Loveline every night. Over the past few years, Dr. Drew has taught me much about any and every sexual situation. Kinda.
Or it could be that she's really nervous, or ashamed of the act - ontop of what Rosa said.
Being a real perverted fuck for a few years taught me a lot
Has she always had this trouble? [ 09-04-2003: Message edited by: Maradon! ]
Find out what really gets her motor going, and give it a try.
Lyinar Ka`Bael, Piney Fresh Druidess - Luclin
one: she's nervous. she's very nervous. do everything possible to calm her. A lot of foreplay, lots of touching and telling her how much you love her, how beautiful she is. make her feel pampered and loved and cherished and ready to be pleasured.
two: she's trained her body to expect something else. If her body has been told time and again that to climax requires certain stimuli (a certain way of rubbing, or a right pace, or a combination of many things) then lovemaking can be a wonderful, pleasurable thing, but unless you come close to that combination, then there won't be a climax. So, either you need to have her masturbate with your help (let your hands and lips caress the rest of her body as she pleasures herself) and keep doing that until she's comfortable with it, then let her guide your hand instead of using her own. Communicate, have her tel you what feels good and if she can, why. Learn what makes her squirm by herself, then try to apply that knowledge to lovemaking. (alternatly, she could start masturbating in a manner that mimics closely the feelings she has during lovemaking, so that she becomes accustomed to climaxing from those sensations)
No, Really. Bite me.
I contribute little.
quote:
Gikkwiny stumbled drunkenly to the keyboard and typed:
Physically, there's some women who just can't, I've heard.
Yeah, I've heard that too.. That must suck.. Really...
Obviously, you're going to be rather hard-pressed to recreate her particular "genre" interests... being none of the three you listed, you can't quite do that. However, you might be able to recreate some of her "environmental" interests. Situations, general atmospheres, *ahem* playthings... whatever floats her boat, really.
But first, make sure she's actually COMFORTABLE. Make sure she's certain she wants to actually do what you're about to be doing, and make sure that it's not something she feels guilty or ashamed of. This may take some effort, some talking, and some general time. If she's not comfortable with doing what it takes for her to reach that level of stimulation, even doing it is not going to help any.
Oh, and to note... there are some women who physically cannot recieve stimulation from one of their erogenous zones. But, well... the minimum stated number of erogenous zones on the body is 15. Use the others, if the ones you're using aren't doing so well.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
quote:
BetaTested had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
I was in the same boat as you Az, with my last girlfriend. She never got off, ever. She could try anything with anything/one and it wouldn't do anything for her.I contribute little.
Wait.
Aren't you gay?
It's not something people hear about.
I don't know why I'm even POSTING here. I'm still a virgin.
Oh well, good luck, dude. 
[ 09-04-2003: Message edited by: Xyrra ]
Mix it up, porky! Splooge on her jubblies, or in her eyes!
quote:
Xyrra's account was hax0red to write:
An idea... have you maybe made the suggestion of masturbation as opposed to a full out sex session? You can learn a lot about your partner while watching them please themselves (what touches they like, how they work themselves), and perhaps incorporate what you learn into your routine a bit more. I'm not suggesting this as a regular occurance, but it can be a fun and different break from the 'old in out', so to speak.
I was going to suggest something similiar, but more of a "let her lead you" sort of thing.
quote:
Pesco wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
I was going to suggest something similiar, but more of a "let her lead you" sort of thing.
Hm... actually, considering his statements of her past history, this might be the best way to go. I'd imagine that, since she used to be highly repressed in this regard, she'd alter her activities noticably when observed. If asking her to lead you, there's less of a "performing to expectations" thought involved.
Not all women can orgasm the same way. Some you just needa touch the damn thing & they go off. Others need to go deeper, either way I have never had a woman take anything more then 5-10 minutes of it before letting go. If it takes longer, you just havent found the spot.
Luckily, trial & error for this kinda stuff is pretty fun
Sorry, this isn't a serious answer. I couldn't help myself after seeing Reynar's post. [ 09-04-2003: Message edited by: Where's Waisz? ]
quote:
The logic train ran off the tracks when Where's Waisz? said:
Big O, it's showtime!
I used to scream that when she asked me to take off my pants.
quote:
Mr. Parcelan had this to say about pies:
I used to scream that when she asked me to take off my pants.
I avoid mentioning anything involving big in that situation - she tends to giggle.
No really, if she's staying nice and lubricated the whole time, and still doesn't fire one after 90 minutes of sex, she's probibly got a medical problem. It might be mental, it might be physical, but either way, it's probibly curable.
quote:
Absolut Blindy stumbled drunkenly to the keyboard and typed:
You're asking sex advice from THIS group of losers?
Back in Japan, they used to call me Godzilla.
SHe has had an orgasm before. Both by herself and with me. It just takes her a hell of a long time and she can't seem to have one durring actuall sex.
quote:
Azizza had this to say about Optimus Prime:
Getting her turned on and ready to go isn't a problem. It is crossing the finish line she has problems with. =\SHe has had an orgasm before. Both by herself and with me. It just takes her a hell of a long time and she can't seem to have one durring actuall sex.
Finger her, and basically play hot & cold. When it feels good make sure she tells ya. I would guess she just has a spot that needs to get tickled right.
The only really difficult girl I had, could not O unless you were doing multiple things to her, she basically needed a couple sensory things going on at once at different places.
Dunno if that's her problem or not, but the only way to know is to just start trying different stuff until she finds what works for her.
quote:
Ares had this to say about Robocop:
If she's not comfortable with herself or with her body she could be self conciously not allowing herself to orgasm, (does she feel that it's "dirty" or not right?). I agree with Nicole, see a doctor. If she's physically healthy, she should have no problems "getting off".
I have to disagree on that last one. I've read and listened, that there are some women that can't get off. Reason: not really known but can point to the fact of low hormones/seratonin(sp.) and I think 3 other endorphines. This can also happen if you have taken any drugs, Perscription or non.
It happens, some women just can't get off, just like some guys have a 2" dick; It happens.
[ 09-05-2003: Message edited by: [PPZ]Kamikaze Gerbil ]
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