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Author
Topic: The most oppressed, yet least outspoken minority
Maradon!
posted 08-29-2003 03:35:15 PM
Left handed people.

The left hand has been unfairly prejudiced and associated with all manner of foul, painful, undesireable meaninings: masturbation, clumsiness, liberals, pure evil, you name it. Even in the english language - the word "Sinister" is derived from the latin "sinistral" which means "left handed." The latin for right handed? Dexterous.

Think black people have a tough time? At least they can work a pair of scissors without much effort. Mid-eastern folk after 9-11? The neighbors might stop talking to you, but at least you can button your shirt quickly, work a can opener, and open a door with the natural-feeling hand.

But do you see left handed people having parades? million-man-marches? Staging protests? NO! You don't see any of that shit, we just suck it up and get on with life.

I have no idea why I posted this thread but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Falaanla Marr
I AM HOT CHIX
posted 08-29-2003 03:36:46 PM
you suck.
Maradon!
posted 08-29-2003 03:37:43 PM
quote:
x--Falaanla MarrO-('-'Q) :
you suck.

YOU suck.

*slaps Fal with his left hand, a gesture of extreme disrespect in ancient times*

Falaanla Marr
I AM HOT CHIX
posted 08-29-2003 03:38:04 PM
quote:
So quoth Maradon!:
YOU suck.

*slaps Fal with his left hand, a gesture of extreme disrespect in ancient times*


Hey grandma. Dont you be doin that.

Ares
posted 08-29-2003 03:44:58 PM
Reynar
Oldest Member
Best Lap
posted 08-29-2003 03:45:55 PM
quote:
Falaanla Marr obviously shouldn't have said:
Hey grandma. Dont you be doin that.

Hahaha.

"Give me control of a nation's money, and I care not who makes its laws."
-Mayer Rothschild
Falaanla Marr
I AM HOT CHIX
posted 08-29-2003 03:46:23 PM
quote:
Reynar had this to say about the Spice Girls:
Hahaha.

Hi reynar. luff joo.

Maradon!
posted 08-29-2003 03:48:48 PM
quote:
Aresing:
What about the ambidextrous? Huh? Huh?

Ambidextrous is latin for "having two right hands"

The ambidextrous aren't oppressed in any way

Ares
posted 08-29-2003 04:06:02 PM
quote:
Verily, Maradon! doth proclaim:
Ambidextrous is latin for "having two right hands"

The ambidextrous aren't oppressed in any way


They could be! Just cause they can use any scissors they want, means nothing!

leckzilla!
Squeak!
posted 08-29-2003 04:35:40 PM
Hear Hear!

Heh, interesting point. *is left handed*

Callalron
Hires people with hooks
posted 08-29-2003 04:43:18 PM
Right o-, err, left on!

Rise up my oppressed brothers and sisters! Kill righty!

After the revolution we shall make the remaining righthanders play first base.

Callalron
"When mankind finally discovers the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be upset that it isn't them."
"If you give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish he'll just go out and buy an ugly hat. But if you talk to a starving man about fish, then you've become a consultant."--Dogbert
Arvek, 41 Bounty Hunter
Vrook Lamar server
Majox
Pancake
posted 08-29-2003 04:56:05 PM
quote:
When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Callalron said:
Kill righty!


Funniest thing I've heard all day.

I just make ideas, I don't make them good. - Me
Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 08-29-2003 04:58:32 PM
Did you know that the life expectancy of left handed people is about 5-7 years less than that of the right handed people?
~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
Suddar
posted 08-29-2003 05:47:43 PM
quote:
Tarquinn attempted to be funny by writing:
Did you know that the life expectancy of left handed people is about 5-7 years less than that of the right handed people?

Probably because you fuckers are all out to get us.

Lalamile
My title doesn't even make sense any more
posted 08-29-2003 05:52:31 PM
And we get the shaft with driving cars. They are designed for right handed people. Fuckers.
Maradon!
posted 08-29-2003 05:54:13 PM
quote:
x--TarquinnO-('-'Q) :
Did you know that the life expectancy of left handed people is about 5-7 years less than that of the right handed people?

Did you know that there both is and is not a hole in the o-zone layer above anarctica?

The right study can tell you whatever you want to hear

Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 08-29-2003 06:01:48 PM
Well, I'm not the one with the lower life expectancy. I have time figure out what is right and what not.
~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
Burger
BANNED!
posted 08-29-2003 06:12:03 PM
quote:
Maradon! thought about the meaning of life:
Did you know that there both is and is not a hole in the o-zone layer above anarctica?

The right study can tell you whatever you want to hear


It's not a study conducted by scientists, it's based off actuarial tables that insurance companies use to calculate life insurance premiums. They charge you more than an identical righty because they've found that on average, you're more likely to die first.

They just look at the statistical trends and then create equations that describe them... and lefties are more likely to die earlier.

Bite me.

No, Really. Bite me.

Mightion Defensor
posted 08-29-2003 06:14:58 PM
* raises his left hand in rebellion

We're the only ones in our right minds!

Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 08-29-2003 06:20:05 PM
quote:
Looking through the medical literature, I find studies reporting that lefties have a higher accident rate, are more likely to have their fingers amputated due to power-tool accidents, suffer more wrist fractures, etc. What's more, lefties suffer a higher incidence of allergies, epilepsy, schizophrenia, and certain learning disabilities.

Lefties, a 1992 article in the Atlantic notes, also show unusually high frequencies of depression, drug abuse, bed-wetting, attempted suicide, lower-than-normal birth weight, sleeping disorders, and autoimmune diseases.



OMG, I laff.
~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
Suddar
posted 08-29-2003 06:28:32 PM
quote:
Tarquinn Model 2000 was programmed to say:
OMG, I laff.

Yeah, I hear Germans do too!

Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 08-29-2003 06:32:12 PM
It hurts and stings!
~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
Suddar
posted 08-29-2003 06:34:42 PM
Go kill some Russians.
Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 08-29-2003 06:35:46 PM
Go find some jokes that aren't 60 years old.
~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
Suddar
posted 08-29-2003 06:36:31 PM
Hey, if you can't take it... ;P
Emily
Why's everybody always hittin on me?
posted 08-29-2003 06:39:19 PM
Okay.

But what about people with green eyes?


... what?

Should've done something, but I've done it enough
By the way your hands were shaking
Rather waste some time with you

Should've said something, but I've said it enough
By the way my words were faded
Rather waste some time with you...

Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 08-29-2003 06:40:21 PM
quote:
Mightion Defensor had this to say about Captain Planet:
* raises his left hand in rebellion

We're the only ones in our right minds!


oi...neurological puns...

Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Suddar
posted 08-29-2003 06:44:24 PM
quote:
Emily had this to say about Knight Rider:
Okay.

But what about people with green eyes?


... what?


I'm left handed...and I have green eyes.

Holden
French Cocksucker
posted 08-29-2003 06:52:14 PM
quote:
Suddar was naked while typing this:
I'm left handed...and I have green eyes.

You're a rare one!


"America is dumb, it's like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you..."
Vorbis
Vend-A-Goat
posted 08-29-2003 07:20:17 PM
quote:
leckzilla! had this to say about Jimmy Carter:
Hear Hear!

Heh, interesting point. *is left handed*


Bet you don't have any problem buttoning shirts though.

Damn women and their left-handed shirts.

Callalron
Hires people with hooks
posted 08-29-2003 09:12:47 PM
quote:
Tarquinn's fortune cookie read:
Did you know that the life expectancy of left handed people is about 5-7 years less than that of the right handed people?

I dunno, I plan on living long enough to dance on ALL your graves.

Callalron
"When mankind finally discovers the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be upset that it isn't them."
"If you give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish he'll just go out and buy an ugly hat. But if you talk to a starving man about fish, then you've become a consultant."--Dogbert
Arvek, 41 Bounty Hunter
Vrook Lamar server
Canadian Mountee
Rumble Pak+FMV Sequence=FUN!
posted 08-29-2003 09:14:44 PM
Left handed, Grey eyes.


SAY WHAT

The World is Yours
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 08-29-2003 09:17:06 PM
My next car is going to be imported from Japan so that I can shift with my left hand. Although now I do have the advantage when steering at speed, I suppose.
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Arttemis
Not Squire... but a guitar!
posted 08-29-2003 09:19:58 PM
It seems like the whole world is built around us right handers sometimes, doesn't it?
Hostile Makeover
Evil as chocolate covered thistles
posted 08-29-2003 09:48:54 PM
Sarudani Miolnir
Old-school poster
posted 08-29-2003 10:19:47 PM
Ever seen how frustrated a right handed person gets when forced to use left handed scissors?
Mr. Parcelan
posted 08-29-2003 10:22:33 PM
LEFTIES BURN IN HELL!
Sarudani Miolnir
Old-school poster
posted 08-29-2003 10:42:45 PM
quote:
Mr. Parcelan impressed everyone with:
LEFTIES BURN IN HELL!

Lefties rule Hell.

Maradon!
posted 08-29-2003 10:52:49 PM
quote:
Peanut butter ass Shaq Mr. Parcelan booooze lime pole over bench lick:
LEFTIES BURN IN HELL!

RACIST!

Mr. Gainsborough
posted 08-29-2003 10:54:42 PM
quote:
Maradon! had this to say about Optimus Prime:
RACIST!

Hmm...seems to be a fad today.

All times are US/Eastern
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