I'm going to the park with a few friends (nice long wooded trail around a lake. you can see the sun reflecting off the water with a tower on a mountain just on the horizon), grabbing dinner at outback steakhouse, seeing a movie at the theaters... then the next day have people watch the animatrix at my place and maybe drink and socialize after. Sometimes I want to go fishing, go to the casino, sailing, play paintball, skydive, rent a movie at blockbuster, or whatever. Sometimes I just stay and chill.

Half my friends do one thing - dnd. That's it. If asked if they could just end their session early one weekend, they say they can't - like they have some sort of obligation to each other. I understand that dnd can be fun. For me it's an escape when I can't do anything else. A lot of my gamer friends take it very seriously.

My question is - how many of you have a regular session every weekend? If you want to do something other than game, can you do it? How often do you?

How do you deal with friends that only role-play, and talk about role-playing during every conversation?

[ 06-05-2003: Message edited by: diadem ]

Then picked up with a couple (who I babysit for now) but they got so involved with this Quixtar thing, they have literaly no time for anything else, not even kick back activities. Sooo, now I don't game at all, unless it's the few times I log into EQ...

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diadem had this to say about John Romero:
My question is - how many of you have a regular session every weekend? If you want to do something other than game, can you do it? How often do you?

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I've got one weekly game, and one every other week game.

If I want to skip out and, say, play WC3; I don't. Because I've made an agreement with the other nine or so (combined) people in my games to play, and not piss away their time, etc.

There are two different games run, both D&D, by friends. They swap off week to week. That gives us more time to figure out how to get out of the messes we've made as players, too.

We're not totally hardcore, if someone who's not in the game stops by, they're welcome to hang out, and if something comes up, meh, so be it. There's always the next week. *shrugs*

I really miss playing Cyberpunk though...

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Xyrra's unholy Backstreet Boys obsession manifested in:

I really miss playing Cyberpunk though...

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me too. used to play all the time out in California, and then I moved back to NC, and cant find anyone here that plays :/

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Falaanla Marr's unholy Backstreet Boys obsession manifested in:
me too. used to play all the time out in California, and then I moved back to NC, and cant find anyone here that plays :/

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I have people here to play with... the storyteller is rather burned out at the moment though, and doesn't know when he'll pick it back up again

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From the book of Alek Saege, chapter 3, verse 16:
[SNIP]

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We all try to make it to the games, but we also all know that Real Life sometimes makes that impossible. We give the others in the group as much warning as we can, and the game gets shifted or canceled. Then, life goes on.

During the games, we do play. But, getting somewhat sidetracked on occasion is a common thing. We're there to have fun, so long as we're enjoying ourselves destractions are ok.

We've been known to leave the game alone and do other things, but not often. Usually, it takes something that the whole group wants to do (like seeing Return of the King) to make us call off the game.

So what's the problem?

Why not just find something else to do on those nights, and let them do their thing? There's 6 other days of the week you can drag them off to do other things.

When things come up in my life, I deal with life, and hope my players don't hate me, and I extend to them the same courtesy.

DnD does not encompass my life. It's a fun past time, and something I love to do with and for my friends. But I could live without it, although when there is nothing else to do, why not. Plus honestly, my players, make it all worth it. In a lot of ways they make it better than going on, and typically spending money, so I'd rather play with them. Exceptions do arise.

Of course D&D can be fun, but it shouldn't be, in any case, an obligation, or an "I must." I'll do D&D if my friends want me to, but if there is something else I would prefer to do, i'll drop it in a sec.

While some people may think they have a moral obligation to play, it simply isn't true. A game is played in pursuit of fun, and D&D lacks any other pursuits, so as thus, if you attempt to take a strict moral look at it, in itself it is a waste of energy, talent, and thought, and immoral in itself. Of course, I certainly don't hold the opinion that D&D is immoral, simply that it should NOT be an obligation, and if made thus, it becomes immoral.

And indeed, I know the kind of friend who only talks about D&D or M:tG, and they soon became some of the most annoying people I ever knew. They were fun to hang out with before I became interested in other things, but if I am trying to hold an intelligent discussion with anybody I respect or really want to take me seriously, they seem to try to get into a discussion and x game.

If you'r only hobby is x game, than I would simply say that you really should stop playing that game, or do something else, at least. If your life revolves around what is simply a game, you are giving nothing to society. It is important to have hobbies that have some sort of productive measure, such as painting, or sculpting/modelling, because in such, you are not only having fun but creating something. In simply playing a game, you are giving society no contribution, and in thus, are becoming, in a sense, a parasite on society.

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DS had this to say about Punky Brewster:
rarwarwarawrw ^_&^_^_^_^_U^*076-

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I pay for the games, which helps the economy flow. I help society a lot!

I got rid of them.

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Jens had this to say about Robocop:
How do you deal with friends that only role-play, and talk about role-playing during every conversation?

I got rid of them.

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PLAY2KRUSH

But nobody gets truly upset if one doesn't want to play or can't play. Sure, we jest with each other about the let down, but nothing serious. It's not even a set day of the week we get together, just sometime on the weekend. Nice and casual. Our games also aren't serious. It's not about the level or the equipment for us, just trying to have a good time. We try to follow the story line (though that wasn't always the case, especially during highschool), but we try to add humorous things to it. For those actually interested and want examples/quotes you can go here. I'm Kevin.

I have some friends who I lost contact with in highschool. They got involved in a very serious group of Roleplaying. I never really dealt with it since by the time I got in contact with them we had already drifted apart though. One eventually broke away and *with distaste* "got a life". The other guy is still heavily into it and I avoid the topic DnD when I get together with him. If it comes up, he goes on and on about his groups exploits which bore me to tears because they are serious and not funny (like my groups exploits). I end up just halfheartedly listening while watching tv or something.

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Trillee painfully thought these words up:
I used to table top once a week with a group of friends, then they all moved and I lost touch with them.

Then picked up with a couple (who I babysit for now) but they got so involved with this Quixtar thing, they have literaly no time for anything else, not even kick back activities. Sooo, now I don't game at all, unless it's the few times I log into EQ...

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What the fuck a Chinese Downhill Quixtar?

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DS had this to say about John Romero:
I used to have a weekly group and a monthly group.. until I got something called a life. I hate to say it, but being regularly obliged is simply a disugsting prospect for me, and not worth it. I can spend 3 hours cooped up in a small room with some sweaty guys, despite the rason, or I can go do something.

Of course D&D can be fun, but it shouldn't be, in any case, an obligation, or an "I must." I'll do D&D if my friends want me to, but if there is something else I would prefer to do, i'll drop it in a sec.

While some people may think they have a moral obligation to play, it simply isn't true. A game is played in pursuit of fun, and D&D lacks any other pursuits, so as thus, if you attempt to take a strict moral look at it, in itself it is a waste of energy, talent, and thought, and immoral in itself. Of course, I certainly don't hold the opinion that D&D is immoral, simply that it should NOT be an obligation, and if made thus, it becomes immoral.

And indeed, I know the kind of friend who only talks about D&D or M:tG, and they soon became some of the most annoying people I ever knew. They were fun to hang out with before I became interested in other things, but if I am trying to hold an intelligent discussion with anybody I respect or really want to take me seriously, they seem to try to get into a discussion and x game.

If you'r only hobby is x game, than I would simply say that you really should stop playing that game, or do something else, at least. If your life revolves around what is simply a game, you are giving nothing to society. It is important to have hobbies that have some sort of productive measure, such as painting, or sculpting/modelling, because in such, you are not only having fun but creating something. In simply playing a game, you are giving society no contribution, and in thus, are becoming, in a sense, a parasite on society.

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Wow you must have a hard time arranging a soccer game with your friends, 22 people + ref who would have to get together with each and every one dropping it at the tip of a hat. By getting other hobbies you enjoy you are in no way supoerior to those that enjoy gaming. If I tell people I'll go to a concert with them, or meet to play M:tG or anything else I make an effort to be at there, if I don't want to I just tell them I'm not coming, that simple. If you dislike 'sitting in a room with sweaty guys' so much, then why agree to it in the first place?

Yes people talking about things that don't interest you all the time are immensely annoying, I fully agree on that point, I have those too but instead of M:tG they talk about getting wasted / stoned and sports, same deal, different perspective.

Also the assumption that any art one does as a hobby is a contribution to society is simply false, for your writing / sculpturing / music to be a true contribution to the advancement of the human race it needs to go beyond something you do for relaxation in your free time. (assuming of course that you aren't a Mozart grade talent) Also society will take slightly below half my income when I start working, so I doubt I really owe them that much.

[ 06-06-2003: Message edited by: Shazorx / Modrakien ]

Deth runs his High Seas X game every Sunday from 6 EDT to about 12 EDT. 6 hours, although sometimes when we're on a roll we keep going. He's had trouble in X, as well as the first High Seas (which started with five players and ended up with three thanks to people bailing when they didn't feel like playing) and High Seas II which we finished not too long ago.

When people continuously miss his game, it screws up everything he's got planned for that night. He tries to include everyone in the group, give everyone a chance to find their niche. And that's hard when people just decide they aren't going to come.

Now there are exceptions, like work, school things, etc. In fact, we didn't play this last Sunday because all of Deth's D&D books were packed up for the move. As long as Deth has enough forewarning, he can plan for absences. But still, repeated absences are going to hurt the game. The story won't be able to be told, the characters won't learn to mesh with the character of the person who misses all the time, and they'll fall behind.

When people are missing enough, Deth will start docking experience. So they not only don't understand the story, they are lower levels when we're going against tougher and tougher enemies in our battles.

D&D shouldn't be your life, but it *should* be treated as anything else you agree to do with friends. It should be taken seriously and you should think of other people and how your actions are going to affect them.

And dia, I don't think it's really fair to ask them to stop early. That's their commitment to one another, that they'll get together and play that game every weekend. Would you tell your best friend to go out and cheat on his girlfriend and violate that commitment? Would you tell someone they didn't have to honor a promise just because they didn't feel like it? It's really the same concept.

So does a player have an obligation to the game? Most definitely. If I was being counted on to pick someone up for work, go to the movies, or take someone somewhere they need to go, I wouldn't just blow it off. That's rude, and it's inconsiderate of everyone else. I know that I, for one, put a lot of effort into thinking up the storyline for my games, and the action, and the number crunching for mobs the PC's might encounter, and planning for character-specific "hooks" and moments for them.

When a player decides on the spur of the moment to have buddies over rather than play the game, or when they spontaneously decide to blow off the game for some other reason, etc, that messes with the GM. USUALLY the players can find some other way to deal with a problem, but it involves extra work. Yes, that's part of what a GM does, but it's also unnecessary stress.

Now...accidents DO happen. Sickness, hospital trips, vicious weather, having to get up early for work the next day, etc, can all happen. If it's a bona fide emergency, then of course there's no trouble with someone not showing up for the game. I'm pretty devoted to the game I run, but real life does have to come before the game. That's only common sense.

On the other hand, what happens with players who are chronically late or don't show up at all? In the past I just docked some XP. Problem was that the chronically late folks would end up racking up seriously damaged XP levels. There were some characters in my HS2 game that were close to three levels behind the rest of the PC's. That starts to skew the group CR-handling ability, meaning I have to tone down encounters so that the lower-level people can make an adequate contribution, which means the higher-level PC's have to take an XP hit, and you end up penalizing the good players. In HS2, I got around this by giving better gear to the "preferred" players who were there all the time (Kinanik's paladin earned his Holy Avenger, for instance, Lyinar's monk got a spell-penetrating item called Breaker, etc).

In HSX, I've set the standard (at the moment) as being "If you're not here for 75% of the session, you get no XP. If you're here from 75-85% you get half XP, 85-95% you get three-quarters XP, and 95-100% you get full XP" and so far it seems to be working out well. The other thing is if people have missed half a session (sometimes less, depending on the session), they aren't counted as being there that night, even if they come and play for three hours. I can't stop in the middle of the action and hold someone's hand while they play catch-up with the story for the evening. It's not fair to me or the players who were getting into their respective grooves. That, however, brings me to my next point.

ASSUMING the unthinkable happens and you ditch the game for whatever reason (got your pinky finger cut off my drug lords, quality time with the spouse, marathon masturbating session, tornado ate your house, etc), how many times is okay? For me, it's four sessions. My campaigns USUALLY take about a year, year and a half of weekly sessions to get through. If you miss four sessions in a row (IE a week), then you've missed a pretty substantial chunk of things. You'll end up sitting around wondering "why are we here? what are we doing? who the hell is this NPC?" which slows us all down again as we try to explain.

Now, sometimes real life gets in the way. One of my HSX'ers is walking the razor line of having missed three sessions in a row. Not really any fault of his own; it's job related, and the one time where he had some choice as to whether he would work on the pre-determined game night or not, he opted to make points with his boss rather than play the game. So if he can't make it to one more session, then it's time to take it as a sign that he isn't meant to play. I'm not hostile about it (because it is genuinely bad luck; he's a great player and I would miss having him around), but I can't bend on certain matters. What saves him is that he's usually been pretty scrupulous about getting to me ahead of time when it comes to missed games...which brings me to my last point.

Etiquette can get you out of some seriously unpleasant disagreements with your gaming group. Just not showing up, then calling after or whatever to give an excuse is wrong if it wasn't an emergency. In this day and age, there's a dozen different ways you can conceivably get in touch with someone (email, pager, cel phone, answering machine tag, voice mail, text messaging, board PM, messenger service PM, etc). If you know the night before that you won't be at a game, then it's your responsibility to let your GM know so he doesn't hold out hoping you show up the next day. You want the ability to occasionally go for a stroll in the woods or go see a movie, but you want to play the game? Then you have to show some respect. If you know you're going to miss out on a game, let people know ahead of time. If the game has gotten to the point where you're treating it like a job you want to get out of (coming up with lame excuses for not being there, being there on time, or whatever) then much as you might THINK you want to play, chances are you really don't. You might be pulling on some nostalgia or whatever, but it's probably better just to break ties to the game now and move on.

As for the idea that there are people who take D&D too seriously...They exist. I roleplay in private with Lyinar a LOT, and I have fun with it, just like I do with running my game. But there's nights where we EQ. Or watch movies. Or entertain ourselves with books or magazines or console games or any of a hundred other things. But I knew folks back in NC who dedicate their whole lives to RPing and never grew up. I knew a guy pushing 40 who graduated high school, worked briefly til he was 20, and has sort of been mooching off gaming buddies and childhood friends up til the modern day. Another guy is balding and in his mid-30's, has half his teeth rotting in his mouth, and delivers pizza for a living so he can maximize his time RPing. Then there's Bob...Bob has no job, lives by the grace of his mother and older brother's good will, freeloads off of other people, and generally RP's six nights out of seven and on Sunday mornings. They're bad roleplayers to boot. Same character type in every game (doesn't matter if it's D&D or Shadowrun, Rifts or Vampire), same adolescent boy fantasies ("she has HUGE tits!" was a quote I heard frequently in the few times I hung out with the group), same obnoxious rules lawyering, min-maxing attitude about everything. If you live your life solely for gaming, that is who you will be; your liver and kidneys may be intact, but you will be an addict.

So a breath of fresh air is good. If you only have one day off that you can goof off, no one should rightly expect you to RP every day. On the other hand, you as a player did make a social contract with your buddies and you do have some responsibility to be as fair to them as you possibly can.

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Alek Saege had this to say about Optimus Prime:
As a DM it can be frustrating if your players continually dodge sessions

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*whistles nonchalantly* sorry boout all those times, but some things are more important!

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Bloodsage had this to say about Tron:
What the fuck a Chinese Downhill Quixtar?

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Amway, rebuilt. But these guys got a ton of major cooroporations (Sony, Microsoft, Nike to name a few, because my memory sucks ;P) to sign on with them.

But whatturned me off was how preachy they (not my friends.. the Quixtar people) got.

Was like evangalism meets marketing.

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There was much rejoicing when Bloodsage said this:
Ewwww.

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Very. And they're not cheaper too. They say that they are, but damn... they ain't. if anything, buying stuff from them is more expensive.