I love small, tight enclosed spaces. Makes me feel less vulnerable. Too much FPS'ing, I think 
Anyways, back to the point...I don't like nighttime because that's the time when rationalisation is hard.
It's when I start to consider stuff that seriously freaks me out. Like, 'when we die... is that just it? End of existence? Nothing more? All she wrote?'... and if there IS an afterlife, would we retain our memories? Or is it reincarnation? If so, wouldn't 'you' be dead? Memories others have of you, a mark made in history, may make you well renowned... but if, once it's over, it's over, then the key integral being that made you YOU... the personality developed by environs, by genetics, the memories that make up everything you are today... are gone.
When I go down that road, I usually get depressed because like last night, I sometimes feel like I didn't make a mark, but that's not the topic of this thread, that's the topic of the OTHER one.
Mainly, I just hate how during the day, thinking these thoughts, they seem silly... but at night when I really bunker down to sleep, and sit there quietly pondering, I can't help but shake the thought that once I die... that's it... no more Chris, just eternal emptiness where my thoughts once were. All we know is our thoughts; each and every one of you now is reading this, thinking, constantly, day in day out, dreaming, thinking, the mind never stops... which is, I think, why the thought of death sorta doesn't sit well with me.
And don't get me started on the theories of heaven or hell. I am both totally for AND totally against the thoughts and theories behind both... mainly because without any physical representation of either, proof of any existence beyond insubstatial 'thoughts and feelings' that other people have had, I can't place enough stock in it to begin with.
Yet, on the other hand, I know that existence had to be started SOMEHOW. What caused it? Why does the universe exist here? What is this universe, anyways? What if it never had existed? Wouldn't that just have been death? Eternal numbing emptiness? SOMETHING started it, but what? If the 'big bang' was created by the end of a previous universe, what started that one? How far back can the timeline go? How far forwards is there left? At what point can or will it stop? Why is it going in the first place?
...I wish I could just live forever and not have to worry about it =/ Nighttime sucks.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
I don't know about you, Khyron, but I'd rather not waste my life away worrying. You want to live forever, but it ain't going to happen, and what life you do have is going to be shorter if you can't bring yourself to believe in its strange ways and let that deliver you to where you need to be. Worrying isn't worth the bother, and while it's true that I do still worry, I'm trying not to these days. You can think about life without letting it get you down--and without letting it slow you down. Hopefully you can do both, because things are a lot less depressing that way.
Hell, take it from me. I mean, look at me a year ago. I was being called (however jokingly) the "Duke of Angst" for christsake. Believe me when I say I like where I am now much more.
I really would like to beleive there is reincarnation, because just being in eternal darkness is kinda dumb, and think about it, is it rational to assume that when you die, your whole consiousness just...is gone? I mean, what do you, as a person see? What becomes of you? For those people that beleive in NO afterlife, I pity you, your prospect of what happens is extremely scary to me.
Hell, just the thought of that initial moment when you know you're going to die is scary as fuck to think about, or am I alone in that? THE SINGLE moment you know that you will die. I imagine it being very humbling, I can imagine myself thinking, "Well Ian, it's over, good game buddy"
But back to reincarnation, maybe it's just me, but maybe we can't comprehend on that plane, on that level yet, ya know? I can't think in my mind what happens. If you don't retain memories than isn't that, in essence, the same exact thing as going into eternal blackness? Isn't it though? How are you supposed to know you're alive again?
That is why the existance of a God is very comforting for me. To have the knowledge that someone is up there, a beacon of warmth, smiling and beconing, saying, "Hey Ian, we've got another body for ya, seeya in 100 or so years" would be heartwarming.
On the other hand, sitting up in Heaven or down in Hell for ETERNITY. Forever. That is a DAUNTING amount of time to stay in any place indefinately with no change. I can imagine it being VERY boring. I dunno though. I usually try NOT to think that like cause frankly, it freaks me the hell out.
quote:
When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Suddar said:
The real question we have to ask ourselves is "Who cares?"I don't know about you, Khyron, but I'd rather not waste my life away worrying. You want to live forever, but it ain't going to happen, and what life you do have is going to be shorter if you can't bring yourself to believe in its strange ways and let that deliver you to where you need to be. Worrying isn't worth the bother, and while it's true that I do still worry, I'm trying not to these days. You can think about life without letting it get you down--and without letting it slow you down. Hopefully you can do both, because things are a lot less depressing that way.
Hell, take it from me. I mean, look at me a year ago. I was being called (however jokingly) the "Duke of Angst" for christsake. Believe me when I say I like where I am now much more.
That's why I bitch about nighttime. I don't worry in the day 
Just at night, when everything's harder to take as reality
Just don't. Don't.
/me shudders.
"How can you ever hope to know the Beloved
Without becoming in every cell the Lover?
And when you are the Lover at last, you don't care.
Whatever you know or don't - only Love is real."
Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb. - Dark Helmet
Now yes, the Big Bang and relativity are theories, but they are ones which are supported by pretty much every relevant piece of evidence we have observed thus far. Consider this: the only absolute truths exist in your own head. If you apply that requirement to scientific theories, you'll never get anywhere. That's why you can never "prove" a theory; it can only fit the evidence and therefore be considered valid.
~~
Probably the hardest thing about being an atheist (aside from some inevitably nasty encounters with psycho fundies) is dealing with the fact that this is it. Life is a one-shot deal. Death is oblivion. As an atheist, I've thought long and hard about this, and one day, it just clicked: I thought about dying, and I wasn't saddened or scared by the fact that death will be nothingness. I accepted it. I overcame my fear of oblivion. When I die, the synapses in my head will disconnect from one another, and every memory I've formed, the sum total of who I am, will evaporate, and I will be no more. As far as I'm concerned, it will be like I never even existed.
Well, sorta. It'll be more like I just fall asleep and never wake up. I don't fear this death; I look forward to it(in 60 or so years, of course.). I sure as heck wouldn't want to go to Hell or the popularized version of Heaven, and I don't want to be reincarnated. By the end of my life, I will see death as I see it now: the absolute total end of my personal existence. And like now, I won't be afraid of what that means.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
quote:
T. E. Bloodsage had this to say about Jimmy Carter:
Less caffeine. More booze.
What he said. Dr. Callalron prescribes that you knock back about three fingers of Stoli right before bedtime. You should sleep soundly.
That, or you'll dream about some really freaky shit. It's coin toss which one it'll be. But at least you'll be asleep and not laying awake worrying.
For me specifically? I'd like to believe in reincarnation, and if it does exist, I'd hope like hell to keep my memories, as like OP says, it would be near to pointless if you didn't know you were alive again. Eternal sleep would also upset me, as that would be a total loss of control, unable to fight back to any sort of consciousness. Becoming a ghost or some sort of spiritual watcher would be satisfactory, as I would still be able to check in on the state of the world, and my family. Immortality would be my best choice, even if I had to be hooked up to some sort of cybernetic life support, but eternal youth would be paradise for me, as I could deal with others dying. This might seem callous, but if I can hold onto their memories forever, they join in my immortality in some fashion.
In case of the 'ceasing to exist' argument, I'm intending to make some sort of lasting impact, most likely through my writing, either by book or by screenplay, but if its as small as just being referred back to by my descendents in the future, then that's ok, just as long as some memory of me lives on. As long as my dreams live on, then so will I.
The afterlife is a topic that isn't much worth talking about after you either believe there is one or you don't. Karnaj doesn't believe there will be one, so he doesn't have to worry about it. I believe there is one and God will make it appropriate, so I don't worry about it.
For what its worth, the scariest description of Hell I ever heard in a church was "the place where you absolutely can't forget anything you did in life."
I hope you start to sleep better Khyron. Don't eat dinner just before you go to bed, I've heard that helps healthy people.
quote:
ACES! Another post by T. E. Bloodsage:
Less caffeine. More booze.
I like your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
But unlike Karnaj, this induces terror beyond words in me. I simply can not deal with certain defeat in any way, and believe me when I say this, there is no thing I would not do to gain immortality, assuming it would not alter my mind for the worse.
I don't believe that leaving a permanent mark on the world will somehow keep me alive. What matters to me is being in control, not just being.
I believe that in the long run, nothing really matters because everything will be gone eventually. Strangely enough, it doesn't make me depressed, but I figure I'm just an apathetic teen.
However, I do believe in reincarnation. When you come back, you will have few (if any) memories of your former lives. When you die, you pass through a stage where ALL your former memories and experiences come together to form the truth of your soul. Nothing is lost, and with each life you lead more understanding is gained. Then, a "blank" part of you spins off, and begins living again.
Aside from immoratality, the concept that appeals to me the most is reincarnation... I don't care if I lose my past self. I don't care if I lose my memories. I don't care if I have to live a couple lives as an animal - I want to be. In whatever form I can have.
If you lived a poor life, you are punished with serving me for eternity.
quote:
Zaza had this to say about John Romero:
I greatly fear the Athetist approach - nothing scares me quite as much as oblivion
Ditto there. I'm just also the kind of person who has trouble beleiving until it's presented in cold, hard evidence in front of him. Hell, sometimes I have trouble beleiving the evidence... 
