Our story begins on a warm summer's night in the Parceshido Province. It is here that the seeds of evil have been laid in the farming grounds of corruption, watered with the juices of cruelty, and fertilized with MiracleGro.
The evil and vicious merchant Bajah has been tricking the good villagers out of their money for quite some time now. The villages lay in shambles, the people oppressed, and all heroes fled...
All heroes, save one...
We find two small and nerd-like guards lingering in front of the gates of Bajah's compound, their spears at the ready and their senses keen to any danger.
OtakuPenguin: Perhaps all this security is an overreaction. After all, there are none who confront the great Bajah. The village lies in shambles, the people oppressed, and the heroes fled.
OtakuPenguin waits for a moment...then scrunches his face up angrily.
OtakuPenguin: WTF! I should have increased in Exposition Setting for that!
Skaw: Those who do not learn from the introduction are doomed to repeat it.
OtakuPenguin: That's the third ancient motto you've said tonight! I hate Feudal Japan!
OtakuPenguin has gotten better at Exposition Setting!
OtakuPenguin: Hooray!
Skaw: Keep sharp, ally, though there are no confrontations, it does not mean we do not have enemies.
OtakuPenguin: You speak in riddles, yet I know of whom you jabber about...
Skaw: Yes...none other than the dreaded Kunoichi: RosaMaru.
OtakuPenguin: Ha! The cunning RosaMaru is a myth! A story told to children to keep them from pissing their pants when we beat them up! Besides, our comrade nem-x has the sharpest eyes in the guard...he will not fail us.
Suddenly, a scream is heard from around the gates.
nem-x: NINJA! NINJA!
Skaw and OtakuPenguin rush around the corner to find their comrade, sword fully drawn and pointed at a piece of dog doo on the ground.
nem-x: Be wary, companions! Its small size belies its power!
OtakuPenguin: Sharp eyes, yes...but his mind is dull and slow, like a very fat man with a butterknife. Do you not agree, Skaw? ....Skaw?
OtakuPenguin gasps as he spies his comrade, collapsed on the ground with an arrow through his chest. He looks up just in time to see a feminine figure scurrying across the rooftops.
nem-x: IT CANNOT BE!
OtakuPenguin: IT IS ROSAMARU, THE ITALIAN NINJA?!?@>$%$%^T
nem-x: ...that was very dramatic.
OtakuPenguin: Thank you.
To Be Continued...later tonight...probably...
Have you been watching La Blue Girl or something, Parce?
sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me
She leaps from roof to roof as sure as a spring breeze.
Her foes never see her, her allies barely trust her. She is...
RosaMaru!
We find our heroine as she creeps along the shingles of a towering pagoda: the very same household that hides the wicked lord Bajah.
As the guards below scurry to and fro to find her, she gingerly slinks ever closer to a nearby opened window. Her face is a portrait of steely resolve behind her mask. She knows what she must do tonight, and knows that it will be a messy job.
nem-x: NINJA! NINJA!
Skaw: That's a koi fish, ricehead!
nem-x: ZOMBIIIIIIIIIIE!
They are beginning to regroup, it will not be long before they search for her with purpose.
Speed is the essence.
She slithers through the window, her body collapsing to fit it perfectly. With a nimble tumble, she rolls across the wooden floor of the attic and comes to a graceful stop.
It is quiet; like a tomb of wood and papyrus. Rolled up tapestries, wearing skins of dust and neglect, lean in the corners like thugs hiding in shadow.
There is little to be concerned about, she knows, but she cannot easily shake the feeling that she is not alone. For once her nostrils quiver a moment, she finds a scent other than dust and musk.
She narrows her eyes and looks upon a figure standing motionless between two tapestries. Short and thin, but his scent carries all the danger she should know about.
He reeks of Clan Snoota: the felons that have long been feeding corruption like a hungry Chinaman.
Immediately, she draws her sword, ready to fend off this unexpected foe. She is prepared; but not nearly enough for what she hears emanate from the shadows.
Mysterious Figure: SO it seemes as thoeugh yuo have DISCOEVERD MY PRESANCE!!!11
RosaMaru: ...it cannot be!
Mysterious Figure: OH, BUT IT SI MY LITTAL KUNOEETCHA!
He steps out of the shadow. The very face of death: a bizarre stick figure wrapped in the traditional black robes of a Monk of Snoota.
RosaMaru: You were supposed to be dead...Kagramada...
Expect many new players to the scene!
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
I told you not to touch my Shark Fin Soup! I will dock your pay!
Kagramada.
its odd that for a parody with Nem-X in it there has yet to be a shouting of the term Roofles n00b.
More, Parce! Chopchop!
Chopchop as in hurry up, not chopchop as in cut Bajah to pieces.
quote:
Azrael Heavenblade thought this was the Ricky Martin Fan Club Forum and wrote:
Bleh, I was sure someone would try and correct me then insult me if I didn't make sure to cover all the facts. Just didn't feel like getting made fun of today.
You fail, loser.
The tiny dots that are his eyes, glossy like a porcelain doll's, belie his cunning and savagery.
Kagramada: I AEM OEN BAD DUED!!1
She knows that every attack must be systematic and precise, her blade must be like a surgeon's scalpel. For if it isn't...she knows his hand will be like the executioner's axe.
RosaMaru: Your clansmen spoke highly of you, Kagramada. They wept openly when they discovered you were supposedly dead.
Kagramada: the RAEPR did not coemm for me AS QUIKCKLUY AS YUO MIGT TIHNK, my daer ROSAMARU!!!11////pie
RosaMaru: Yet I saw it myself, Kagramada. You fell from the tallest mountain after you were struck a fatal blow by Lord Zaza-san. That was supposed to end the conflict between our clans...
Kagramada: MANEY PLANNS do not woerk out as oen antecpaties. As yuo can see, i am ALIEV AND WELL!?! And now, yuo SHAL FEELE IT, TOO!
He lunges at her with all the speed and grace of a rocket-tortoise. She is wise to his animalistic powers, however, and springs over him like a hurdle.
The monk crashes into a support beam. Stronger than steel, his head severs it in two, causing it to topple over and crash. She rolls to the side to avoid it.
He is as cunning as ever.
Kagramada: ARREEEEOOOOOO!!11
His warcry ringing in her ears, she leaps into the air and comes down hard, bringing her blade against his simplistic face.
Damn.
The quiet darkness is turned into a tiny field of silver stars as the blade shatters against his face and its many shards fly into the air, like birds of steel.
One casualty has come thus far. There will be one more before the night is over.
She springs backwards in series of somersaults, backpedaling into the shadows. Once in its dark embrace, she can strike again with her best weapon: herself.
And this time, she will not fail.
Her foe knows her better than she knows him, however, and by the time she realizes he is cloaked in the darkness waiting for her, his hand has already delivered a vicious chop to her neck.
Spinning in place and falling to the ground, the shadows she sought grow larger until they consume her sight entirely.
Kagramada: DUN DUEN DUNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnNNNNnNNnnNNnnNnnNNNNNnnn
Thanks, Parce, I really needed this last night, 
5 points for Parce! 
So Kagramada did a "Silent Wind of Doom"ish ability? 
As he holds her high above the ground with one stick-like arm, his claw-like fingers wrap around her neck. She is a creature of the shadows and a student of swift, silent death, but she lacks a neck of iron.
He will not slay her, though. Not yet. He takes her down the darkended halls of his employer's extravagant abode. He will present her before he kills her, for little other reason than to prove his prowess to all that doubt him.
With his other hand, he hurls the sliding door aside and barges into Bajah's personal den. Unannounced, of course; he has no need of such.
Bajah: Ah, Kagramada! I am glad to see that the tales of your skill are not exaggerated!
Kagramada: YUO BET YUOR SWEAT BRITECHS theY ARE NOT!
His lair, the center of this den of corruption and strife, reeks of sin. Incenses and other smokes fill the air with choking smog. Emptied sake bottles roll around on the wooden floor like skulls before an ogre's lair. Sprawling on fine silks and furs, simple-minded geishas giggle at what they believe to be a new playmate come to join them.
Bajah: And what is this you have found? A rat with a mask? Ah, but where is her tail? Perhaps I had better take a look to see...
Kagramada: tihs si not oen of yuor SIMPAL-MINDEDE GAYSHAWS, MERCHANT! she si KOONOESHAKAKAN! if yuor hands get naer her, yuo shal fiend them REMOVED quickar than taht silley GOKU CAN EAT A BOWEL OF RIEC!
Bajah: Ah, but you are always so serious, Kagramada. Surely you have earned a little relaxation...
She forces back a quiet chuckle. Kagramada is not one to take rest. He doesn't need that, either. His intense training has given him very few needs, save for the overwhelming urge to use his power at every available opportunity.
Kagramada: WAHT the EMOET TEXT SAID!
Bajah: Surely the men of Clan Snoota must require something...
Kagramada: oh YAES! but it dose NOT COEM FROM CARAZY LITTAL MERCHANTS WITH TEIHR CARAZY LITTAL CHINA MOSTACHES!
He has suitably shown his employer how capable Clan Snoota is. There is no more need to remain in this vile den. It offends him as much as it does her. He turns to leave...
Bajah: Then I assume our work here is completed...the threat is removed?
Kagramada: YUOR MUSTACHEE suks out YUOR RAESON! the ninja threat si NEVAR REMOVD until her HAED IS CHOPED OFF! Douebl yuor guards, Bajah-sama-chana-the third, it shaell be a LOENG NIGHT until her EXACUTION!
Bajah: ...sniff I spent five years growing this...
He has wasted enough time. Now, he need only secure her for five more hours. For with the dawn shall come his finest victory.
It will indeed be a long night.
quote:
Everyone wondered WTF when nem-x wrote:
reaction time test?
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
