Example:
"What flavor McFlurries do you have?"
"M&M and Oreo."
"No Butterfinger?"
"No. Here's your sign."
Amendum: Also, do not simply order the thing that was not listed.
Example: (And I wish to God I was making this conversation up)
"What type of Sundaes do you have?"
"Hot Fudge and Strawberry."
"I'll have a Carmel."
"We have Hot Fudge and Strawberry."
"Oh. I thought you just forgot to mention it."
"This is why the Management doesn't allow us to bring guns to work."
When asked a multiple choice question, "Yes" or "No" are not valid answers.
Example:
"Would you like to make that Large or Supersized today?"
"Yes."
"Dumb ass."
As an extension of the last one, when asked a multiple choice question "whichever" is not a valid answer either. Your mother still dresses you, doesn't she?
And finally, when asked your name, "Why?" is not the correct response. "Why?" Because we know you're a fucking idiot and are going to go sit down and not come back for ten minutes, by which time your food is cold and you're angry that you have not recieved it yet even though it's been there for eight of those ten minutes. [ 02-25-2003: Message edited by: Frog ]
"Would you like Hot, Mild or Fire sauce?"
"Yes."
It's usually, "Yes.", if a question is asked.
Now, when someone asks you a question you do not understand you ask them to repeat it. I don't mind repeating myself in those situations. Our store is very loud due to the fact there is a line to the door at all times, and we're in one of the busier Casinos on the strip so we have lots of foreign tourists. Things get missed.
But when Asian tourists don't understand a question what do they do? Nod and say, "yes." Then they get their food and go, "No! I no want this!"
When I say I want a "chicken ceasar salad" please don't ask me what kind of dressing I want.
quote:
Random Insanity Generator's unholy Backstreet Boys obsession manifested in:
Um... does 'Yes' qualify as an answer when I want all of the options listed?"Would you like Hot, Mild or Fire sauce?"
"Yes."
"Would you like fries or tots with that combo?"
"Yes."
quote:
Nobody really understood why Kermitov wrote:
To turn the tables a little bit. I'm sure, Mr. Frog, that you don't do this but:When I say I want a "chicken ceasar salad" please don't ask me what kind of dressing I want.
Caesar is a salad type. Not a dressing.
In fact, my store only has caesar salads and according to our inventory caesar is our least popular dressing. Ranch is the most popular, with low calorie vinigarette(fancy name for italian dressing. Why can't we just call it that?) comes in second, with Ranch selling up to three times more than caesar.
So what you mean to say is out of the thousands of customers we see a day, we shouldn't ask what type of dressing people want because you personally want the least popular dressing?
It's not something people hear about.
"What type of crust do would you like?"
"That normal one"
"We have Thin, Handtossed, Pan, Stuffed, Dish, Golden Stuffed, etc"
"That middle one"
Dealing with non english speaking customers is the worst in Pizza Hut, because everythings made custom on the Pizza.. They'll be like 'I take medium'.. I always give them a medium pan cheese and they complain(not in english of course).
Me: "How much does a medium pizza cost?"
Pizza Hut guy: "$13.50"
Me: "I'm not that hungry, can I get a small?"
Pizza Hut guy: "No, we don't have small pizzas."
Me: "Waitasec, what sizes do you have?"
Pizza Hut guy: "Medium, large, and extra large."
Me: "...but no small?"
Pizza Hut guy: "Yeah"
Me: "Why do you have an extra large size, but no small? Wouldn't it make more sense to just move everthing down a size?"
Pizza Hut guy: "...yeah that's fucked up."
quote:
When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Rodent King said:
Great conversation I had while ordering pizza.Me: "How much does a medium pizza cost?"
Pizza Hut guy: "$13.50"
Me: "I'm not that hungry, can I get a small?"
Pizza Hut guy: "No, we don't have small pizzas."
Me: "Waitasec, what sizes do you have?"
Pizza Hut guy: "Medium, large, and extra large."
Me: "...but no small?"
Pizza Hut guy: "Yeah"
Me: "Why do you have an extra large size, but no small? Wouldn't it make more sense to just move everthing down a size?"
Pizza Hut guy: "...yeah that's fucked up."
I think they do have a small, but not while ordering out. (Makes it more economical or something. )
quote:
Rodent King had this to say about Punky Brewster:
Me: "I'm not that hungry, can I get a small?"Pizza Hut guy: "No, we don't have small pizzas."
They have "Personal" pizzas. That's their deliverable smalls. Basically 4 bites of pizza and that's about it.
quote:
Frog had this to say about Captain Planet:
Caesar is a salad type. Not a dressing.In fact, my store only has caesar salads and according to our inventory caesar is our least popular dressing. Ranch is the most popular, with low calorie vinigarette(fancy name for italian dressing. Why can't we just call it that?) comes in second, with Ranch selling up to three times more than caesar.
So what you mean to say is out of the thousands of customers we see a day, we shouldn't ask what type of dressing people want because you personally want the least popular dressing?
A ceasar salad comes with ceasar dressing. If I didn't want ceasar dressing I would have asked for a chicken salad.
quote:
Kermitov painfully thought these words up:
If I didn't want ceasar dressing I would have asked for a chicken salad.
And you would have been told we don't have chicken salads. Since caesar salads are classified by their ingredients, and all of our salads are caesar salads because of what is in them.
And that still doesn't change the fact that ranch and italian both outsell our caesar dressings, even though the only salads we carry are caesar.
It's not our fault you think all our customers should use what you like.
quote:
Frog had this to say about Tron:
And you would have been told we don't have chicken salads. Since caesar salads are classified by their ingredients, and all of our salads are caesar salads because of what is in them.And that still doesn't change the fact that ranch and italian both outsell our caesar dressings, even though the only salads we carry are caesar.
It's not our fault you think all our customers should use what you like.
And it's not their fault you're misleading them into thinking what they're getting is a ceasar salad 
would you really stare blankly at me if I asked for a chicken salad?
You sure do change your mind quick.
quote:
So quoth Frog:
So you agree that they're not really caesar salads, and as such it's not stupid to suggest something other than caesar dressing?You sure do change your mind quick.
No, since you actually do sell a ceasar salad.
My point is that I hate having to be redundant in ordering just because you think any salad is a ceasar salad.
So tell me, if I asked for a chicken sandwich would you tell me that you don't serve chicken sandwiches since they're called McChickens, Chicken McGrills, Crispy Chickens, or Hot N Spicy Chickens?
my broader point is that sometimes the clerk does forget to mention something, and since every McDonalds is not your McDonalds it doesn't seem all that unreasonable for people to be surprised when you don't mention butterfinger as a McFlurry flavor or carmel on your sundae. I feel that, in this case, you're not being fair.
The reason I brought up the ceasar salad thing was to try and show that the customers are not always the ones that are stupid. I perhaps should have spent more time on showing that a little more eloquently. [ 02-25-2003: Message edited by: Kermitov ]
quote:
Kermitov Model 2000 was programmed to say:
since every McDonalds is not your McDonalds it doesn't seem all that unreasonable for people to be surprised when you don't mention butterfinger as a McFlurry flavor or carmel on your sundae. I feel that, in this case, you're not being fair.
I actually agree with that. Your McDonald's is gimp or something, since every one that I know of has butterfinger McFlurries, and caramel sundaes.
quote:
Frog spewed forth this undeniable truth:
"Would you like to make that Large or Supersized today?"
"Yes."
"Dumb ass."
hilarious
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me
(Sunday morning breakfast rush, while we're on a 30 minute wait and the lobby is completely full)
Stupid Fucking Customer: Booth for 4?
Me: Ok, your name?
SFC: There's a wait?!
Me: No ma'am, all these people are just here to enjoy my wit and charm
(Another long wait)
SFC: How long for a table?
Me: About 30 minutes
SFC: (attempts to hand me 2 dollars) See if you can make it sooner
Me: Sir, 2 bucks isn't worth being yelled at by the other customers in the lobby. Try a 20, and I'll think about it.
SFC: I wanna speak to a manager!
And please, if you call in a take-out order, please know what the fuck you want. It's a waste of everyone's time for you to spend 5 minutes going "Ummm.. I want... umm.. a.." for each item.
Not everyone wants caesar dressing on their caesar salads. And as such, you're asked what dressing you want so we don't have to deal with stupid people who say, "Can I have a caesar salad?" and yell at us when they get their caesar dressing when they really wanted Ranch.
And Dens, when was the last time you had a carmel sundae or butterfinger McFlurry at a Corporate McDonalds in the Phoenix region?(Western Arizona and all of Nevada) What? About two years ago when it was discontinued?
Some of the owner operated stores still carry it, but it has been discontinued in the Corporate stores in the region since before I worked there.
And whether the McDonald's down the street has it or not isn't the point. We have a big sign that reads, "Enjoy a McFlurry in these flavors!" and the Oreo and M&M symbols beneath it. Our menu lists Hot Fudge and Strawberry under the sundaes. They still ask, I answer, then they ask even again.
You say you hate having to be redundant. You get a salad at McDonalds how often? I have to do it at least a hundred times a day.
Lyinar Ka`Bael, Piney Fresh Druidess - Luclin
"Sir, you were rude to the cashier. You know what you have to do now."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'M SORRY! I DON'T WANNA TOSS THE SALAD! I'LL BE GOOD!"
(Still 
Chris Rock)
quote:
Frog wrote this stupid crap:
You stopped making any sense what so ever.Not everyone wants caesar dressing on their caesar salads. And as such, you're asked what dressing you want so we don't have to deal with stupid people who say, "Can I have a caesar salad?" and yell at us when they get their caesar dressing when they really wanted Ranch.
And Dens, when was the last time you had a carmel sundae or butterfinger McFlurry at a Corporate McDonalds in the Phoenix region?(Western Arizona and all of Nevada) What? About two years ago when it was discontinued?
Some of the owner operated stores still carry it, but it has been discontinued in the Corporate stores in the region since before I worked there.
And whether the McDonald's down the street has it or not isn't the point. We have a big sign that reads, "Enjoy a McFlurry in these flavors!" and the Oreo and M&M symbols beneath it. Our menu lists Hot Fudge and Strawberry under the sundaes. They still ask, I answer, then they ask even again.
You say you hate having to be redundant. You get a salad at McDonalds how often? I have to do it at least a hundred times a day.
Yeah cuz everybody who comes to McDonalds at a casino in vegas is from the phoenix region.
Aside from hearing the amusing stories of numbnut customers who come in, of course. It's everything I loved about working a service-related job without actually having to put up with the bullshit.
sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me
Setup: We're having a busy night, The Perfect Storm just opened and this, uh...rotund woman comes up to my counter.
Her: "Let me get an X-Large Popcorn with LOTS of butter."
So I fill out her order, and put some extra squirts of butter on her popcorn and start to hand it to her.
Her: "No, you don't understand, I want a lot of butter."
Me: "Uh, OK."
So I put some more butter on her popcorn and hand before I can even hand it back to her...
Her: "More."
By this time I'm really getting frustrated with this lady, not only that, she has a right large line behind her and I can't afford to have her at the counter any longer.
So I go at it with the butter pump, thoroughly dousing her popcorn in flavored oil.
I hand it back to her, she pays and goes on.
30 minutes later she comes up to the counter and starts screaming and yelling at me.
Apparently our popcorn bags aren't meant to take that much butter and bust out the bottom.
This lady had a huge butter stain on her pants.
quote:
Everyone wondered WTF when Kermitov wrote:
Yeah cuz everybody who comes to McDonalds at a casino in vegas is from the phoenix region.
I worked at another McDonalds for over a year that was far, far, far away from any tourist place and the same exact thing took place. People are just stupid.
And that still doesn't change the fact it's right there on the menu. If I wouldn't be fired as soon as they figured out what it meant I'd go to one of those sticker making places and put a "RTFM" sticker on my hat and just point to it whenever someone asks those questions.
Then they get their food,
'I said I didn't want that stuff!'
'...no, you said you wanted no mayo.'
'Well I meant that!'
And by "you" of course I don't mean you--I mean the strawman I created for myself.
Point is, asshats occur on both sides of the counter.
quote:
Rodent King had this to say about Optimus Prime:
Great conversation I had while ordering pizza.Me: "How much does a medium pizza cost?"
Pizza Hut guy: "$13.50"
Me: "I'm not that hungry, can I get a small?"
Pizza Hut guy: "No, we don't have small pizzas."
Me: "Waitasec, what sizes do you have?"
Pizza Hut guy: "Medium, large, and extra large."
Me: "...but no small?"
Pizza Hut guy: "Yeah"
Me: "Why do you have an extra large size, but no small? Wouldn't it make more sense to just move everthing down a size?"
Pizza Hut guy: "...yeah that's fucked up."
Like another post said, we have personal pans and my store has them for delivery/takeout. You just must spend $8.00+ for a delivery.
quote:
Iulius Kæsar was naked while typing this:
I've met my share of brainless order-takers as well. I'm not talking about having to repeat myself, especially on those lovely microphones. However, if I order a small Coke, don't ask me if I want a large. You're not a used car salesman for crying out loud, don't make stuff up. Or if I order a combo by name, and you ask me if the number is correct, I'll probably tell you yes in any circumstance. I don't stare at the board over your head for eight hours a day, and I probably don't want to hold up the line searching for the item.And by "you" of course I don't mean you--I mean the strawman I created for myself.
Point is, asshats occur on both sides of the counter.
People in cars, faces not right next to the microphone pickup, tend to mutter in the middle of a sentence while the scan the menu.
sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me
I know what I want when I go someplace, I run through it in my head just before I order, I enunciate everything, and never complain when they ask me something twice.
I'd like a Double WhopperNOCHEESE no onions, just the sandwich; two bacon double cheesburgers just the sandwiches, and a large onion ring. That's it.
Sorry, Snoots. Mickey D's I do not visit. I think their food is crappy compared to Bking or Taco bell.. and it's much further away.
quote:
Frog had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
God I hate that. People say they don't want things that don't come on the sandwich. I always tell them it doesn't come on it to make sure they weren't thinking of something else.Then they get their food,
'I said I didn't want that stuff!'
'...no, you said you wanted no mayo.'
'Well I meant that!'
Whenever I go to Burger King I always specify that I want lettuce, tomato and mayo only, please. And they always get it right when I say it like that. Never could understand people that always said what they *didn't* want, but never just said what they wanted and got it.
Lyinar Ka`Bael, Piney Fresh Druidess - Luclin
quote:Besides the fact that humans start counting up, therefore addition is easier than subtraction for mostly everyone? But then, trying to prove that people understand what you want better than what you don't want with math is ridiculous in the first place so I guess all I'm trying to say is
Lyinar Ka`Bael's fortune cookie read:
Whenever I go to Burger King I always specify that I want lettuce, tomato and mayo only, please. And they always get it right when I say it like that. Never could understand people that always said what they *didn't* want, but never just said what they wanted and got it.
