They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, as submitted by QANTAS pilots, and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
and The Unholy: rofl
Ok, not really, but it sounded good. 
"It's something even the Masters don't reveal about the hidden nature of the universe... the deepest and darkest of all that the Force lets you see... the universe has a sense of humour." Callista, Children of the Jedi
quote:
From the book of Genericgirl, chapter 3, verse 16:
Thanks for sharing Tal! I liked it.
quote:
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
FUNNAY
Lyinar Ka`Bael, Piney Fresh Druidess - Luclin
quote:
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: Sounds like a little man hammering on the engine
S: Took hammer away from little man and sent him on his way
I've also had pilots come down with Radar, ECM ( Electronic Countermeasures Pod ), and Targeting and Navigation Pods not working in Official ( OFF ) mode. My answer was simply " Sir, could you move the switch to the O-N position, that means "On" in maintainese. "
quote:
Check out the big brain on UBT!
P: Sounds like a little man hammering on the engine
S: Took hammer away from little man and sent him on his way
I think that's the funniest one of all, UBT
sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me
quote:
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
