I would do it, except for I'm afraid to overly balance it, and because I don't have time. 
But I need one for the game. I figured if you two were like me, creation is just as much fun, if not more fun than playing. So figured I'd see what you're ideas would be. This beast is called the Heraphim. The players shall be meeting this walking wonder of destruction VERY shortly.
I also wanted to share storytime. 
So here is a bit of the background, and the story.
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When Brom set out to conquer Aleria, and claim it as his own. There were already inhabitants here, those of planar origin, and much older than the young god himself. Brom was always a kind and just soul, and these creatures were an affront too all he stood for and believed in. So he set out to purge this great new place that he would eventually call home.Most such denizens were easily dispatched, and Brom safely locked them away in earthen tombs, for all eternity, never to see the light of his just world again. One however, was not so easily swayed, and fought for total dominion of the new young world, and even had designs on taking the crystal tides themselves, Brom's ancestral home and the land that would be stronghold of the gods.
Brom decided to finally confront the torrent of darkness, on his own, and suffered greatly for his arrogance. The Heraphim fed off the gods well wishes and kind hard, using his own justice against him, and with its pure control over the negative and death, it struck the young god down with its dominance. Brom was shattered and broken, barely able to continue and was hounded as his worn essence retreated from the fight. The dark monstrosity however, was relentless, and refused to give up pursuit, hardening his efforts and hunting down the just invader.
Unknown to the seething blackness that was the Heraphim, however, another old world denizen was watching from her own crystal plane. Aleria, daughter of the Celest, she watched with heavy heart and tortured soul at Broms torment, until she could take it no more. Her world had long since advanced, and many had very little belief in the old ways and religions, which included the belief in her, and she still had her children to keep watch. So she gathered the power of her home world unto herself, and carried with her the might of her home plane, -which to this day remains unnamed in history-, and with this act her world was deprived forever of the mystical heart it had long since forgotten and neglected. Aleria traveled to the new world that would eventually bear her namesake, and took the field against the Heraphim. The ancient evil faced down the ancient good, and the two pillars of sheer force laid waste to the land that would be.
In the end, battered and broken, only Aleria remained standing. She hurriedly attended to the broken young god Brom, and he was thankful for her assistance. He looked upon her with only love in his eyes at that moment, and a tinge of sadness. For on her perfect beauty now laid a marring, a marring she would carry for an eternity. There, in blood, upon her perfect face remained a mark that would never heal, a scar that would burn throughout the eons, the mark of a down-turned sword etched into her flawless skin. With a gentle hand, Brom reached up and removed a single drop of blood from the burning cut, and looked down at the broken, yet still living Heraphim. With the sheer force of will, Brom forced the essence of the hulking darkness into the tiny drop of blood and then wished upon it that it be something of beauty to hide the vileness that it held within. As he looked away, no longer in his hand was the drop of blood, but a perfect gem of unimaginable worth. A ruby of utter perfection and flawless in its design.
The sanctity of this brave new world was restored. From it, and this just victory, the first cries of life would be heard, but as all things in Aleria, this was an ending of sorts, as all things must end, but it was only the end of the beginning
The Heraphim has no known description, other than that of total darkness and the look of dread. His abilities and power were un-gauged in Alerias history, as he was sealed away well before any recorded record could be made.
However, the Gem was lost in the annals of history, and its exact origins and capabilities were unknown. It was said the possessor could garner great wonders, at a heavy cost. So many treasure seekers and power mongers have given lifetimes to find it. There are even rumors of specific rites that can be performed to gain dominion over the harbinger within.
Some reports regale of a Gem of unearthly beauty held by the Nomads surrounding the Palren Desert, and hints of the name Desert Rose have been whispered through the ages. What is fact, and what is fiction, however, is truly unknown.
So really, it's pretty open ended, and lots can be done. It should actually have a few levels for the players to encounter, because it will be a nasty thorn for them to endure, but it's final form should be near godly and a bastage to have any chance at defeating.
It is currently regaining it's strength, and feeding of it's intense hatred for the world of Aleria. So it is still a bit weak, but it will get much stronger as it feeds on Aleria's misery over time, and nearly godly eventually. Afterall, at least one god alone failed to take it down.
If you are interested in the task, have fun. If not, well I hope you enjoyed the story anyways. If anything ever happened with any of this, which I doubt, but if it does. You get full credit for it, and collaborator credit as well.
Just send me a PM with powers and what you envision them as and I can make it happen.
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Humble Parcelan had this to say about Tron:
j00 got it, man.Just send me a PM with powers and what you envision them as and I can make it happen.
Actually you could pretty much do whatever you wanted powerwise, etc etc. He has nothing...
When I wrote all this up a long time ago.. He was just "evil" I honestly never got a chance to flesh him out.. Which is why time was a problem. My brain quit workin and I couldnt come up with any good ideas.
He's not Balor-esque, but he is more than inttelligent. Unlike most evil beings he feeds off the good, draining it eventually until nothing remains except sorrow and blackness. I never envsioned him humanoid, more like the demon from "Death Mountain" from Fantasia. Demonic, yet not a demon.. Thats the hard part, I just dont know.. I just know he's BAD, bad bad bad.
If left to his own devices, he could consume everything, as was his initial plan. I was hoping you guys had some ideas, so even if you didnt want to build him, It may give me some ideas. However, I expected you guys would have fun making your own anyways.
I'm gonna need a CR range, though.
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Humble Parcelan spewed forth this undeniable truth:
I'll get to it right after class today. You can expect a copy tonight.I'm gonna need a CR range, though.
First stage. CR 6
Second stage. CR 12
Third stage. CR 16
Final stage. CR 22
After final stage he's pretty much regenerated to full and at God calibur. So anywhere on the ratings for the typical high end evil gods will do. ( I do not have Deities and Demigods. Unfortunately, so have no idea. )
So I guess it would technically be one beastie, but like 4-5 different incarnations. Each more powerful than the last...
See, I was the morbid type. When I originally outlined all this, everyone was dead long before they ever got to the final stage part. ( Most of what they are following I wrote years ago. They are just changing the story.) But I always wanted to go back an evolve him. It's just, well I never planned to be a DM, let alone have a game thats lasted almost a year now. So with real players, it's almost entirely different. Very little remains the way it was as I wrote it, when I was writing it as a story. Which is a good thing, but unevolved things are bad. Currently I'm reviewing and building up a lot of what I didnt get to in the main story. Building beasties is not my strong point anyways, my characters/races usually end up sucking.
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Faelynn LeAndris's unholy Backstreet Boys obsession manifested in:
By the way. Did anyone like the story? Critisisms? Opinions?
I liked it, alot.
It also has the potental to spawn a few in-game legends that characters can run into. Stories of people that encountered the gem (or a holder of the gem) and got their heart's desire, but at a tragic cost.
Of course, if the characters get it, they may be temped to pay the cost and use it themselves. There just needs to be something that they would want bad enough ... 
for an added twist, to fully defeat the creature, perhaps you need to see it for what it actually is, making him all the more difficult. anything else will harm him but eventually make him stronger, perhaps. so you'd need an immense willpower to truly defeat him; and even then, it will still likely cost you your sanity.
as for the forms in its earlier stages, i think it would still look dangerous, but if not at full strength, somewhat less intimidating. perhaps something somewhat hunched over, attacking with the speed and effeciency of a cheetah or some other form of deadly kitty-creature. i can't really describe what i'm thinking, and won't try anyway, as i'm just throwing ideas onto the table. and when i say hunched over i don't mean in the "hunchback" sense, but more like something like spiderman on a wall. just oftentimes on all fours, and perhaps even on the walls as well (it'd seem somewhat fitting). i do see him as being a fast creature, regardless, though i may be thinking something entirely different than what you're going for.
and i'll stop now before this gets really long. :P
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We were all impressed when Palador ChibiDragon wrote:
I liked it, alot.It also has the potental to spawn a few in-game legends that characters can run into. Stories of people that encountered the gem (or a holder of the gem) and got their heart's desire, but at a tragic cost.
Of course, if the characters get it, they may be temped to pay the cost and use it themselves. There just needs to be something that they would want bad enough ...
*nods*
Technically... They got it.. and paid the cost already. Long story, would have to do a game review to explain.
BUT there is more to it than what they think, but thats a seekrit... So shhhhhhhhh.
Also what has happened in the present, isn't always what you think happened in what is now the past, so the future is never really real. For them anyway, and Aleria as a whole.
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Faelynn LeAndris had this to say about Captain Planet:
By the way. Did anyone like the story? Critisisms? Opinions?
Great story, but the use of the name Brom was disturbing. Mostly because he's an openly gay guildmate of mine, who is a very scary person when he wants to be.
Couldn't read that without getting weird imagines in my brain 
Its powers should include mildly persuasive pleading for its life, and sniveling cowardice.
The Heraphim should have no attacks capable of felling a single flea, much less a humanoid.
Thanks, guys, stick to these guidelines, and it should all work out great, .
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hard technology rock had this to say about Optimus Prime:
not due to some innate invisability, but just due to an inability to fully comprehend a being of such intensity of evil and cruelty, as mortals. a shifting mass of shadows isn't what i'm thinking, but more of a shifting outline of a creature, never fully silhouetting, but never fully without a form. basically, you'd know what was there "instinctively", but you just can't let yourself see it. anybody who somehow does, perhaps, would be driven mad by what they see, or killed outright from shock. something along those lines; just something worry of terror. if that doesn't work, instinctive averting of the eyes would work fine too, i.e. looking upon this creature would be the most difficult thing you've ever done.
This is a neat Idea. Kinda along the lines of the howling darkness.
Or the "Blackwind" from WoT.
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Faelynn LeAndris had this to say about the Spice Girls:
This is a neat Idea. Kinda along the lines of the howling darkness.Or the "Blackwind" from WoT.
That's along the lines of what I was thinking...
And maybe something Manipulative at first as opposed to outright violent... Something subversive or corrupting, that would rather take control of a person or manipulate a person towards ends than showing itself and moving towards those ends...
I dunno, but when I think of trapped Evil, that's the sort I think of...
Then again, I'm probably just digging my own grave here, literally...
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Nevia DuLake had this to say about Pirotess:
That's along the lines of what I was thinking...And maybe something Manipulative at first as opposed to outright violent... Something subversive or corrupting, that would rather take control of a person or manipulate a person towards ends than showing itself and moving towards those ends...
I dunno, but when I think of trapped Evil, that's the sort I think of...Then again, I'm probably just digging my own grave here, literally...
Actually I probably should mention that.. This is currently what he has done. I don't want to get specific, but yes the manipulative possession deal is part of it. So yes, was thinking the same thing. IN the begining anyways.. Nevia has already been faced with something regarding this, although she porbably doesn't know it, and Kardan took care of it anyways.
And yes, yes you are. 
Fae hasn't had coffee.
I outlined the bare bones of it, but left a lot of it for you to fill in, because you'd know what would fit it better.
I'll send it to you in IRC when you show up.
I'm thinking of the Heraphim as something that can't be seen, heard, or in any way sensed by normal, mortal senses. It appears to mortals as a strange feeling of... wrongness. It can encompass an area and hover like air, affecting whatever lies within it's bulk like the Heraphim itself is fate. It cannot be touched, yet it also cannot touch. It CAN, however, communicate. It's voice would be like an intruder into thoughts, not needing any real language, just communicating in feelings, images, compulsions, needs. And this only when it's in it's lowest form.
As it grows, the feeling of "wrongness" begins to solidify. Things appear distorted and surreal in the bulk of the Heraphim, like if it's all viewed through a warped looking-glass. Still not enough to really notice anything other than "that's weird". Communication gets a little better at this point, it can use vague words, but is still limited to mind-to-mind links. It can't manifest as anything visible/hittable by mortals just yet, but mortals DEFINITELY know that "something" is there. It's not invisible; but it can be seen by certain magical sights as a black, amorphous cloud with seething red eyes winking in and out of existance there.
Third time is when things begin to manifest. The Heraphim can now pull enough of himself together to look like a tall, muscular humanoid figure made out of smoky glass; no features, just that. Bits of him shift and move like a cloud. This dosen't dim his "sphere of influence", though, he's just manifesting as a physical shape; the strangeness appears around him, but more promounced. Colors are seen wrong, occasionally bleed into each other, sounds are heard wrong, enoguh so that words can be misplaced, the temperature wildly shifts, and that sick feeling of "wrongness" is all the stronger. This time, he's actually able to physically hit things, and people are able to hit him; however, if he is destroyed, he simply vaporizes back into the "wrong" feeling, waiting.
The fourth time, the smoky glass humanoid is replaced by a gigantic humanoid male torso, arms, and head, seemingly floating in midair, drawing on his own sphere of influence. Stepping into this sphere (which is now much smaller, you basically have to stand beside him to step into it) is now akin to stepping into a nightmare: colors swirl and melt at disturbing rates, whatever enters is mashed together with the rest into a swirling, chaotic maelstrom, darkening and darkening as it nears the real physical bulk of the Heraphim. The torso/arms/head are completely smooth and have no defining physical characteristics, and seem constructed out of onyx, shiny and solid.
The fifth, and final time, the Heraphim appears like a cancer on reality. Like the world ceased existing, and he started. His "sphere of influence" grew again, into a great, swirling black cloud around him, winking with thousands of luminescent eyes, and stepping into it now means that you simply... are absorbed. You stop existing, and become a part of his bulk. His physical form (the head/torso/arms) are now ten times their original size and appear much more muscular, of the same glossy black substance that ripples and flows like a cloud. He can't move OUT of his bulk, but that bulk can move; slowly absorbing whatever's in it's place, adding to the growing darkness. He tries desperately to get the players to enter, dragging, pulling, magic. If an arm enters, well, goodbye arm. Cut off wherever the cloud touched it.
Eh. Enough rambling. Prolly didn't get it off right...
Or try thier hand at creating one.Also for those who liked the story, here pretty soon, the legends and myths page on the DM site under the Aleria section will go live. So you can find stories such as this one, and a few more there. I'd say in probably about a week and a half.
