DO YOU!?!?!!
Then answer this challenge!
Explain how the following combination affects the youth of America and will eventually cause the downfall of civilization as we know it: Waffles, a 1994 buick and Karnaj.
quote:
Mr. Parcelan wrote this stupid crap:
You think yourself to be the best of debaters, DO YOU?! You think yourself to have the largest of egos, DO YOU?! YOU THINK YOURSELF A FURRY DOG-GOD AMONGST MEN?!DO YOU!?!?!!
Then answer this challenge!
Explain how the following combination affects the youth of America and will eventually cause the downfall of civilization as we know it: Waffles, a 1994 buick and Karnaj.
Karnaj the noun or karnaj the verb?
Really. And I can prove it.
They are a left-wing socialist plot designed by Red sympathizers in a subtle attempt to twist the minds of America's impressionable youth.
No, really. I can prove it.
I've conducted extensive research on this topic--DON'T CHALLENGE ME, DAMMIT, I'M A PROFESSIONAL--and have reached a startling conclusion: waffles are square.
That's right: square.
What's more, they're made up of many smaller squares--it's a conspiracy of squares.
Having realized that enduring truth, I was at a loss for how to proceed. Until the breakthrough.
I saw some old footage of a May Day parade in the former Soviet Union, and, suddenly, it all came together. The picture was of Red Square.
Red Square! How could I not have seen it sooner?
Once I knew where to look, though, the clues were everywhere. After the Soviet Union failed, the evil torch was passed to--you guessed it--China. Tiananmen Square was hardly a coincidence, now, was it?
It's devilishly simply, yet fiendishly diabolical: the squares in waffles, and the waffles themselves, are subtle subliminal socialist sermons designed to twist the minds of America's impressionable youth.
Dastardly!
Some have argued that my logic is flawed, yet they lack the rhetorical understanding to see the baseless nature of their own reasoning. For example, it has been claimed that there is no square waffle conspiracy on the flimsy evidence that some waffles are round. But, as any idiot can see, that is circular reasoning, and therfore faulty.
Ad hominem.
Having proved the conspiracy, though, I was desperate for a plan to foil the plot. The military wouldn't take me seriously, so I couldn't get access to nuclear weapons . . . so I had to think more covertly.
Only one response seemed appropriate to the crime of infiltrating American breakfast food with Communist propaganda--they must be Karnajed, and the sooner the better.
I called Karnaj, but he was himself in the midst of corrupting several specimens of American youth in an attempt not so much to create the downfall of civilization, but to increase its population . . . so I needed a ruse. Quickly, I cut up a book of Truly Tasteless Jokes, and put a trail from his doorway to the Russian Consulate, knowing he couldn't resist reading them all.
I had planned to include the Chinese Embassy in the Karnaj, but--completely by surprise--a bomb fell on it, and I didn't have to worry.
Is it over? One can only hope. Being Karnajed is tough on anyone, and I think the Russian economy will be in disarray for years, if not decades, to come.
But we must remain vigilant. We must eat only patriotic breakfast foods, lest civilization crumble.
Stand ready. Salute the flag. Interrogate your waffles.
~~~
There. How was that?
Did I incorporate everything I was suppos--aaaaauggh! RUN! A 1994 Buick is chasing me! Nooooooooooo . . . Christine?
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
[ 02-15-2002: Message edited by: Maradön? ]
quote:
Some have argued that my logic is flawed, yet they lack the rhetorical understanding to see the baseless nature of their own reasoning. For example, it has been claimed that there is no square waffle conspiracy on the flimsy evidence that some waffles are round. But, as any idiot can see, that is circular reasoning, and therfore faulty.
I reed gud.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
You rule, Bloodsage! 
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
quote:
And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Bloodsage was all like:
No, really. I can prove it.I've conducted extensive research on this topic--DON'T CHALLENGE ME, DAMMIT, I'M A PROFESSIONAL--and have reached a startling conclusion: waffles are square.
OMG!! ROFLMAO
Ok, I'm voting for bloodsage in the next election.
as someone once said "i laughed, i cried, i karnajed."
I spit in your general direction.
But this thread deserves a year old bump! Bloodsage's post is the funniest thing ever posted on EC!
But when its a thread this good, it dont matter [ 04-05-2003: Message edited by: Falaanla Marr ]
I saw the title, and was wondering how on earth I was going to find the time to answer a Parcelan Challenge. . . .
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
