> ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL: Cuba,
> Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own Clubs
>
> Beijing-Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of
> Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the
> "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than
> "that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of" in
> his State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members, however,
> immediately dismissed the new axis as
> having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as
> Evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il.
> "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're
> the best."
>
> Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
> although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of
> Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar
> al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained
> Iraqi President
> Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II
> you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only
> have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."
>
> THE AXIS PANDEMIC
> International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift,
> as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious
> nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of
> geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the
> Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and
> Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia
> and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just
> Generally Disagreeable.
>
> With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs
> filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be
> called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly
> Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia
> formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly
> Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New
> Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask
> Sheep to Wear Lipstick. "That's not a threat, really, just something
> we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
>
> While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps
> making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes,
> although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose
> Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false
> application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied
> the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any
> Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one
> asked them.
>
> --