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EverCrest Message Forums » EverCrest Forums » Innoruuk's House of Ill Repute » Inspired by a post on my guild's message board:
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Topic: Inspired by a post on my guild's message board:
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Falaanla Marr
I AM HOT CHIX
posted 01-15-2002 03:52:51 AM
If you were an action figure, what would your package say?

Example:

Maradon: Pull the string to hear Maradon whine about various things, including Necromancers and the Game Cube!

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Squire Twitch
Pancake
posted 01-15-2002 03:54:17 AM
I'm not an action figure, but the wrapper on my package says "Home of the Whopper"
My parents just came back from a planet where the dominant lifeform had no bilateral symmetry, and all I got was this stupid F-Shirt
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Sangwyyn
Pancake
posted 01-15-2002 03:56:38 AM
Caution: Contain sharp pieces that may be dangerous to small children. And most adults, too.
I like a look of Agony,
Because I know it’s true—
Men do not sham Convulsion,
Nor simulate, a Throe—
~Emily Dickinson
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Akiraiu Zenko
Is actually a giddy schoolgirl
posted 01-15-2002 03:57:50 AM
Real wok-swinging action!

The artist formerly known as Zephyer Kyuukaze.
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Squire Twitch
Pancake
posted 01-15-2002 04:02:56 AM
Accoding to my wife, I need a shower so bad, this would be closer..

My parents just came back from a planet where the dominant lifeform had no bilateral symmetry, and all I got was this stupid F-Shirt
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leckzilla!
Squeak!
posted 01-15-2002 04:08:28 AM
Comes with crazy black hair, piercings and all art supplies to keep your leckie happy!

Pull the cord to watch leckie dance like a spaz!

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Squire Twitch
Pancake
posted 01-15-2002 04:09:55 AM
Hmmm..

CONTAINED GENEROUSLY!!!

My parents just came back from a planet where the dominant lifeform had no bilateral symmetry, and all I got was this stupid F-Shirt
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Lenlalron Flameblaster
posted 01-15-2002 05:03:46 AM
Lenlalron: Pull the string to have him hit on the nearest female!

That or something like burning stuff.

[ 01-15-2002: Message edited by: Lenlalron ]

Grammar is your enemy! - While being able to understand someone's sentences might seem like a good idea for a proper essay, complaining on a forum scarcely leaves time for such trivialities. Write fast! You're angry, grrr! Make that show, and forget about things like capital letters, punctuation, and verbs.
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Miandor
Pancake
posted 01-15-2002 05:21:32 AM
Miandor: do not mix with alcoholic beverages

Miandor 56th High Elf Magician
Tulerin Hippyassassin 54th Wood Elf hippy rogue
Myriad Tholuxe Paells
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Jraik Doomshadow
The Furry Iksar
posted 01-15-2002 05:45:26 AM
Jraik: Fun for all ages 17+.
There is an ancient Iksar saying, that something lasts only as long as the last person remembers it. My people have come to trust memory over history. Memory, like fire, is radiant and immutable. Those who renounce the flame of memory in order to put out the dangerous fire of truth: Beware these men, for they are dangerous themselves... and unwise. There are false histories written on the blood of those who might remember, and on those who seek the truth.
Jraik Doomshadow
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JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 01-15-2002 05:47:49 AM
JooJooFlop: Warning: Keep away from any sensitive electronic devices.*
I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
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Vorago
A completely different kind of Buckethead
posted 01-15-2002 06:01:20 AM
*New and Improved!*
"There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination. Living there you'll be free if you truly wish to be."
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Jalal d'Varr
Still a gnome!
posted 01-15-2002 06:45:50 AM
quote:
And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Lenlalron was all like:
Lenlalron: Let out your aggresions!

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Zaza
I don't give a damn.
posted 01-15-2002 06:53:39 AM
quote:
Jalal d'Varr had this to say about John Romero:

Jalal: With realistic effects such as: Burping, passing out, vomiting and off-tone singing.

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Jalal d'Varr
Still a gnome!
posted 01-15-2002 08:48:30 AM
quote:
Za'Yth had this to say about Cuba:
Jalal: With realistic effects such as: Burping, passing out, vomiting and off-tone singing.

You can do better than that.

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greykittytwilight
As sands through the hourglass...
posted 01-15-2002 08:51:40 AM
Warning: I wont be your pet, but if I dont suffocate you while you sleep, then you can be mine in the morning.
..And the waitress is practicing politics.
As a buisness man slowly gets stoned.
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call Loneliness.
but its better then drinking alone.
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KaLourin
Illanae's Stooge!
posted 01-15-2002 08:52:59 AM
Keep out of children.
Dont make me slap you so hard your bucket spins around, and around,and stops sideways,thus confusing you, and making you run about London wearing your bucket, a g-string, and carrying a stick,smacking the ground while yelling "MAGICALLY DELICIOUS! MAGICALLY FUCKING DELICIOUS!"- {Tal} to Mortious
Hebrew 9:3- 'And the Lord said unto me, "Dude, there isn't a K in covenant."' - Snoota
This beer drops trou and fucks your mouth with pure hoppy goodness. - Karnaj
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Lenlalron Flameblaster
posted 01-15-2002 08:57:05 AM
Jalal: A waste of space and money!

[ 01-15-2002: Message edited by: Lenlalron ]

Grammar is your enemy! - While being able to understand someone's sentences might seem like a good idea for a proper essay, complaining on a forum scarcely leaves time for such trivialities. Write fast! You're angry, grrr! Make that show, and forget about things like capital letters, punctuation, and verbs.
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Solstyce
Vampiric pixie that might eat your face, if you're lucky
posted 01-15-2002 09:19:25 AM
Pull pin and throw.
Shhh. Everyone will hear us. Everyone will know.
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Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 01-15-2002 09:43:07 AM
Mortious: Warning! Prolonged contact may cause household plants/pets/relatives to spontaneously die.

Some assembly required.

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Mightion Defensor
posted 01-15-2002 09:50:14 AM
Best if used before 2007.
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Caanis Lupus
Rub me?
posted 01-15-2002 09:51:56 AM
Flea collar and House Training not included
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Malbi
posted 01-15-2002 09:54:43 AM
Behold the Amazing Exploding Malbi just hit him in head with a mace and watch him fall in love with you! Hours and Hours of amusment will surely follow only 19.95!
(mace not included)
I Didnt ask to be Secretary of Balloon Doggies, the Balloon Doggies demanded it!
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Trillee
I <3 My Deviant
posted 01-15-2002 10:58:15 AM
Catnip required.
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Cadga
Quite Insane
posted 01-15-2002 11:27:09 AM
Compelte with poo tossing action and Faptastic grip
Professional Sinner/Heretic
My mindless dribble
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Trent
Smurfberry Moneyshot
posted 01-15-2002 11:31:18 AM
Not suitable for children under 18. Comes complete with disguise kit and supplies. Caution: May contain spikey objects.
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Azrael Heavenblade
Damn Dirty Godmoder
posted 01-15-2002 11:39:41 AM
Voice-activated. Will entertain you with tales of the fantastic upon request. WARNING: DO NOT MENTION THE WORD "YAOI" OR TOY WILL ATTACK.
"The basic tool for manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them." - Philip K. Dick
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Ryuujin
posted 01-15-2002 11:47:43 AM
. May make deliberate mistakes to get punished. Comes complete with chains, leash, and collar.

[ 01-15-2002: Message edited by: Ryuujin ]

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greykittytwilight
As sands through the hourglass...
posted 01-15-2002 12:02:30 PM
quote:
Comes complete with chains, leash, and collar.

Oh baby Oh baby Oh baby. Kitty wants dat toy.

..And the waitress is practicing politics.
As a buisness man slowly gets stoned.
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call Loneliness.
but its better then drinking alone.
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Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 01-15-2002 12:50:46 PM
Warning: choking hazard to small children. Keep small children away from this product.
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

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Skaw
posted 01-15-2002 01:22:03 PM
Attention: No working particle effects on epic.
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Rodent King
Stabbed in the Eye
posted 01-15-2002 01:28:01 PM
quote:
greykittytwilight had this to say about Robocop:
Oh baby Oh baby Oh baby. Kitty wants dat toy.

*Moans disapointedly*

Mine would say:

CAUTION! May be flammable if dipped in gassoline.

My inner child is bigger than my outer adult.
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Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 01-15-2002 01:29:06 PM
dunno what mine would be. Probably "Caution: Once string is pulled, toy will not stop talking until question is fully and completely answered to the toy's utmost and utter satisfaction. Remove batteries at own risk."

KaL's rocks, though.

Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

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greykittytwilight
As sands through the hourglass...
posted 01-15-2002 01:32:05 PM
*slinks Rodent King up by his leash and hugs him* Dont moan. I still love ya!
..And the waitress is practicing politics.
As a buisness man slowly gets stoned.
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call Loneliness.
but its better then drinking alone.
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Rodent King
Stabbed in the Eye
posted 01-15-2002 01:37:17 PM
quote:
greykittytwilight wrote this stupid crap:
*slinks Rodent King up by his leash and hugs him* Dont moan. I still love ya!

I know. Hey! Look what I taught my pet rat to do!

*Pulls out the tiny rat-baby and points toward Grey Kitty. The tiny rat jump out and hugs Grey Kitty's paw.*

I started out trying to teach it to attack people, but the hug thing is all it could learn.

My inner child is bigger than my outer adult.
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greykittytwilight
As sands through the hourglass...
posted 01-15-2002 01:40:37 PM
*snickers. purrs* Darling. *nod and gives the lil' baby rat a pettin'. Feeds it a small nat's ass sized piece of cheeze, then puts a half a cheeze log into Rodent King's muzzle* Enjoy.
..And the waitress is practicing politics.
As a buisness man slowly gets stoned.
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call Loneliness.
but its better then drinking alone.
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Rodent King
Stabbed in the Eye
posted 01-15-2002 01:55:24 PM
*Munches on the cheese.*
Ya know, I'm starting to notice a trend forming whenever we start talking on someone elses thread...After we talk, the thread quckly dies because nobody else posts...except us of course.
My inner child is bigger than my outer adult.
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Freschel Spindrift
Caucasian
posted 01-15-2002 01:57:01 PM
Belly rub to start the leg kicking. Requires nuzzling and snausages.
Who's that crazy kook that's destroying the world. It's Zorc (That's me) It's Zorc and Pals.
Bakura: Did you forget our anniversary, again? (laughter)
Zorc: Yes, I was busy destroying the world (laughter) Slaughtering millions. (Laughter)
Bakura: That's my Zorc.
The blood of the innocents will flow without end. His name is Zorc, and he's destroying the world.
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greykittytwilight
As sands through the hourglass...
posted 01-15-2002 01:57:11 PM
*shrug* Eh. What'cha gonna do..
..And the waitress is practicing politics.
As a buisness man slowly gets stoned.
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call Loneliness.
but its better then drinking alone.
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King Parcelan
Chicken of the Sea
posted 01-15-2002 01:58:46 PM
WHAT THE-?!

Did anyone else notice these "Private Messages" things?! I didn't!

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