I am using match.com to try to help me along with this. Great site By the way. I highly recomend it if you don't mind paying.
Ok enough setup.
So I meet this girl through there. My age(23), Nice picture. Sounds really interesting. She list as having children. That could mean one or more LOL.. But no problem I really don't mind. So I email her...
After a couple emails I ask about her children. And here is what I fing out.
Her children are: Girl 10, Boy 5, and Girl 2 1/2.
Now I am not all that great at math, but uhh. she is 23 and has a 10 year old. This is a bit frightening to me. I mean... I like the girl but this bothers me. A child or two is fine. But this kid is only 13 years younger than me... Could you imagine having a child at 13?
I am a little torn on what to do here though =\ [ 01-03-2002: Message edited by: Azizza ]
Had a kid at 13? Bet she loves her. And I'd bet you can't imagine being as scared as much as she must have been, finding out she was pregnant at thirteen.
Judge not, lest ye be judged.
If not, that's a clue as to her character. Not a good vs. evil clue, but one that you should nonetheless consider.
~~~
And, though I know match-making services are all the rage these days, and even well-off white-collar people use them--wouldn't an old-fashioned "get out in the fresh air and meet people" approach have potential for better results? At least then you could judge people by their actions rather than their write-ups . . .
Not a critique, but rather a question; glad to see you've decided to embrace the future.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
Also yeah I am a bit shocked by the child at 13. Once again not because I condem her or anything but because I could not imagine how she got through it. What it does say to me is "strong will"
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Bloodsage had this to say about Matthew Broderick:And, though I know match-making services are all the rage these days, and even well-off white-collar people use them--wouldn't an old-fashioned "get out in the fresh air and meet people" approach have potential for better results? At least then you could judge people by their actions rather than their write-ups . . .
Not a critique, but rather a question; glad to see you've decided to embrace the future.
Oh I am doing that as well my friend. But I am also trying this. Why limit myself to one avenue or the other. I figure the more ways I try to meet people the better. And I have already made a couple friends through this.
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Judge not, lest ye be judged.
Not to derail the thread, or anything, but has anyone ever contemplated the absolutely ridiculous nature of that aphorism? It's silly on the face of it. It's ad hominem reasoning at its demeaning worst.
I'll judge where I see fit, thanks. Nor will I stoop to indicting another's character in an effort to defend my own actions.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
My point was rather that the age spread may indicate a penchant for physical relationships without the good judgement that ought to go with it. Or a long relationship that didn't work out.
But it would be nice to know which, right.
And good for you for exploring all the many ways to meet people! That's the best way to go about it.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
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Bloodsage stumbled drunkenly to the keyboard and typed:
Not to derail the thread, or anything, but has anyone ever contemplated the absolutely ridiculous nature of that aphorism? It's silly on the face of it. It's ad hominem reasoning at its demeaning worst.I'll judge where I see fit, thanks. Nor will I stoop to indicting another's character in an effort to defend my own actions.
You and I are different then, Bloodsage. I don't feel I was put on this earth to judge others - heaven knows I hate it when people judge me.
It's true.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
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Bloodsage had this to say about Duck Tales:
Then you should have a logical reason. "Lest not ye be judged," is an ad hominem argument, hence logically flawed.It's true.
I may not understand. A woman is 23, looking for a relationship, and reveals she has children, one of them who would have been conceived when the woman was 13.
I don't know her story; I don't know the situation; how can I honestly judge them?
I'm 30, single, live with my mother, and am quite close to being a social recluse. Do you judge me for that? How can I say I'm any better?
My beef is with the faulty logic of the saying, which implies that, for example, no one who had ever done anything stupid could say, "Walking out into traffic without looking that way was rather silly and dangerous."
Worse, it implies that, unless one was a saint who had never done anything wrong, one could not look at a pattern of such ridiculously dangerous stupidity and "judge" someone unfit for further association.
Logically, one judges something upon its merits, not upon the alleged moral character of the person judging. The definition of an ad hominem argument, as a matter of fact, is one that seeks to invalidate an opponent's judgement through reference to his character.
While one cannot leap to the conclusion that she is a bad person, the situation suggests several pertinent questions that ought to be asked. Saying, "I'm not perfect, so I can't judge," is pointless and illogical.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
No stealing my thread you punks 
And to settle it. No person can not judge another. It is human nature. What that statement means is that we should not condem people because of thier actions. Only God has that power. So she has a Child when she was 13? Big deal. When I was 17 I was screwing a 14 year old. Is that a bad thing? Perhaps. Some would say I took advantage of a younger person. You can judge that for yourself. But would you condem me for it now?
That is the difference
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Bloodsage had this to say about Punky Brewster:
I'm not commenting on the specific situation: as you can see, I withheld "judgement" myself.My beef is with the faulty logic of the saying, which implies that, for example, no one who had ever done anything stupid could say, "Walking out into traffic without looking that way was rather silly and dangerous."
Worse, it implies that, unless one was a saint who had never done anything wrong, one could not look at a pattern of such ridiculously dangerous stupidity and "judge" someone unfit for further association.
Logically, one judges something upon its merits, not upon the alleged moral character of the person judging. The definition of an ad hominem argument, as a matter of fact, is one that seeks to invalidate an opponent's judgement through reference to his character.
While one cannot leap to the conclusion that she is a bad person, the situation suggests several pertinent questions that ought to be asked. Saying, "I'm not perfect, so I can't judge," is pointless and illogical.
Whoops. Let me clarify.
I never judge people by their circumstances; but I do judge their actions and words. So I guess indirectly I am judging them.... I expect if I has enough evidence a person was good, bad, evil, an asshole, etc, I'd consider them such. 
I don't have any quarrel with you, Bloodsage, so I'm not meaning to sound confrontational.
wouldnt that create a loophole and basically deteriorate all logic making ducks into hamsters and chese logs would be our rulers!
Back on topic though i say get to meet the kids and find out about her. Really words and pictures can only tell you so much to know if you truly love someone i think you have to meet and just have that click happen.
Sig pic done with Microsoft paint, Work that doobie Pikachu.
I highly suggest you watch the movie Dogma. NOW.
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Kegwen Tabibito had this to say about Robocop:
hehehe, knock of the super-Christian shit Kameks... it's gonna piss people off...I highly suggest you watch the movie Dogma. NOW.
Also im not a super christan im someone with COMMON SENSE jeez whats next "Well if both those 6year olds want to have oral sex then it is a ok".Sig pic done with Microsoft paint, Work that doobie Pikachu.
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Check out the big brain on Azizza!
Dammit people back on topic.
Bloodsage I am gonna beat the hell out of you for this hijacking LOL.
I started out saying I didn't intend a hijack, even!
Don't worry, Mightion, I never flame anyone making an honest attempt at conversation. 
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
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Kameks had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
I've seen Dogma several times VERY funny movieAlso im not a super christan im someone with COMMON SENSE jeez whats next "Well if both those 6year olds want to have oral sex then it is a ok".
Ok, now I see where you're coming from. Me apologize.
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Kameks had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
I CONDEM HER! Jeez people a kid at 13 come on keep your legs closed for christ sake! Really NO ONE should be having sex in my opinion before a minimum age of 17.Back on topic though i say get to meet the kids and find out about her. Really words and pictures can only tell you so much to know if you truly love someone i think you have to meet and just have that click happen.
You do know that humans are physically adults at about age 13, right? However, due to our unnaturally extended life spans, we have decided that we must stop growing before we are mature enough for physical operations that we have been able to preform for years. Society seems to be exempt from logic since the Western Revelations.
Besides, as chef said, 17.
First of all, you have every right to be a little leary of entering a relationship with someone who has a child old enough to be your younger sibling... that's pretty intense.
Secondly, dating someone with a child in the pre-teen years is very tough. Chances are that the mother is looking for a long-term situation, and will insist on a fairly high level of commitment. Afterall, a ten year old has memories of previous relationships, and your relationship, no matter how 'casual' is now going to involve at least 3 people... in this case, probably 5.
Whatever the circumnstances of the child's birth, you have to consider the situation in which it was raised. I have yet to meet a 13 year old that I would conisder to be mature enough to be a good parent. How close is the woman in question's family? Will she have issues in your relationship because she is trying to take care of 3 childre? Is her family willing/able to help out with issues like babysitting?
Thirdly, what do you want? No matter how the relationship starts, are you honestly willing to spend a significant portion of your own time/effort/energy/resources helping to care for 3 children, one of whom is a teenager? I know it's harsh, but if you are going to feel any resentment, you need to be aware of it going into the relationship. Can't be honest with a partner if you don't know what's going on in your own head.
Before anyone jumps me, this isn't about judging someone else... this is about knowing your own limits.
Finally, if you decide to persue a relationship with this woman, what are her feelings on you spending time with her kids? What are their feelings about her spending time with you? There is probably going to be some resentment from the kids, can you deal with that?
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The Otaku Penguin had this to say about pies:
The way I see it, if two individuals are both consentual and know the consequences of their having sex, and are willing to accept them, then it's ok.Just my 2 cents
The thing is it is NOT two individuals anymore. Or is it? I mean where is the dad(s)? In a situation where the woman has kids already you do need to find out the whole story. Everyone has a story, just some are more obvious than others.
But you need to consider if her having had a child at age 13 is something you can accept.
We have a friend, a very nice guy. Who's wife left him and took the kids. He met someone a few years later who has 3 girls from 2 different dads. They hit it off very well and they have been married for 4-5 years now and have two children of thier own together. They are very happy.
So, only you can decide what is right for you. Are you looking for a girlfriend or an instant family? If you decide to go out with this woman are you going to be careful or contribute to the problem?
Some of you talk as if it was all her fault for getting pregnant at age 13. It took two people to make that child, we do not know what happened. So that is where I would start. If you are interested in her, find out what happened.
