For one, I work at a local Super Target. Which means it's a normal target with a supermarket. Nothing too fancy, right?

OKAY! Here's some things you just need to know:

Our uniform is a Red shirt of some kind, and khakis. Nothing else. Blue is Wal*Mart.

If a person has their shirt tucked in to their khakis, they work on the sales floor. These are the people to ask sales related questions to.

If it isn't tucked in, like mine, we work in the stock room. If we're on the sales floor, we're either taking a break, or doing what is called "pushing." Pushing is stocking shelves, but sounds better. Next.

If their name tag is plastic, stuck on with a pin, and has a Target pin in it; guess what? They've worked there a while, and can answer your questions. My name tag is a sticker, I can't answer your damn questions.

Do's and Dont's.

Do:

• Talk clearly and not too loud when asking a question.
  
• Straighten boxes if you knock them over. I hate people who don't.
  
• Leave your six kids at home.
  
• Try to find something on your own before grabbing the arm of the nearest red shirted guy.
  
• LOOK for your things. Don't just walk down the damned aisle then grab me.

Don't:

• Bring your six kids to the store.
  
• Bring toddlers and infants. If they cry or throw a fit, you can be sure that every employee within earshot is daydreaming of violent ways to shut them up.
  
• Knock shit over. It's my job to clean that up after I'm done pushing. Pushing is hard work, your mess makes it even harder.
  
• Give us more "Reshop" than we have. Re-Shop is an item carried from it's original place and dumped somewhere else without second thought.
  
• Bring your own food or drinks. They usually end up sitting on a shelf, for me to dispose of.
  
• Dump your kids on the game displays, or hog them yourselves. I fucking hate you, yes you, Joey Reardon. Fuckhead.
  
• Ask us to get stuff off the top shelf when the same exact object is at knee level. We have to get a ladder or W.A.V.E. to do so. And I'm not 18 so I can't use the WAVE. The WAVE is a form of forklift, FYI.
• Write a check for a box of skittles. It's fucking annoying to my cashier friends.
  
• Use out of state checks, for anything. Our cashiers have to alert Assets Protection(security) when an out of state check is written for more than $100
  
• Walk around and stare at the cameras, it pisses off the AP guys.
  
• Run when you are caught shoplifting. Making my buddies chase you down really pisses them off, be ready for a cheap shot or two in the face.
  

That's it for now, I may entertain you with stories later.

One last thing: I'm smiling because I have to, not because I'm happy to help you.

Sean out.

[ 12-07-2001: Message edited by: Demitri ]

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Malbi had this to say about Pirotess:
I work at Wal-Mart stocking at night

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You are evil for two reasons now.

Wal-Mart and overnight. Our overnight guys suck. They misplace more items than your average customer.
Well, they also don't speak English, buncha Kosovo refugees.

I take stuff off shelves move it around push it under aisles and knock stuff over for fun ^_^ i wave to cameras and dances sometimes

I laugh loud talk loud and have fun when Im there with friends late cause we are getting munchies.

I like to bring LOTS of small change!

Muwhahaha

Im now laughing.

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Malbi had this to say about dark elf butts:
I was a great employee last summer after my 90 days I started getting paid 8.75 an hour full time

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I'd be getting $9 an hour if I was overnight, but not near as many hours as during the day.

Overall I make more at $6.75 during the day, and I grab a dollar raise at Christmas. W00TAGE!

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We were all impressed when Malbi wrote:
yeah but do you get a discount?

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Yeap. 10% off anything in the store. Valid at Macy's and some other store too.

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Kloie had this to say about pies:
Demitri: http://suckerpunch.pulp.nu

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Kloie r0xx0rz. That is all.

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Demitri wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
Kloie r0xx0rz. That is all.

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No no no...say it with me...Erin r0xx0rz. And if you have anything to contribute to her zine, please do. She's trying to get the thing made before Christmas.

You want to talk about a thrashed aisle? Try our phones aisle, one time some wanker kid took all the damn tags out of the damn slots and threw them on damn ground!

I hate working in a city full of idiots (cept for my boss and crew at electronics)

Dont even get me started on the asshead execs.....

Yes, lady, you are 5'2" tall, wider around than my propane tank, and you weigh 125 and have size six feet. SURRRE *covers up size twelve tag on ski boots* *cough*

narf!

Also so much fun are the people that stand through the ski side line (we have the shop divided, skis and their boots on one side and the same for the snowboards on the other), get issued ski boots, then when I had them their skis they say 'Oh, wait, this does not look like a snowboard!'

O_O

*annihilate customer*

No, I am trying to do my damn job, I will not go out with you. Stop hitting on me before I stab you with a ski pole.

Yes, all three and a half feet of my ponytail is all real hair. STOP TUGGING ON IT! IT HURTS DAMMIT! (real fun when the short kids play tarzan on it)

I DO plan on eating all of my lunch. Get your hands off of my plate before you do get some of it, WHEN I SHOVE A CHICKEN STRIP IN YOUR EAR!

narf

I feel much better ^_^

"I saw you take that. Put it back. Don't run. I'm wearing steel-toed boots."

"The book I'm reading is not for sale."

"If your animal craps in the store, you're cleaning it up."

"You get one bookmark. If you buy something. Yes, the cheap paper ones, the nice plastic ones are a buck each."

"You spill on it and it's yours. We can't just wipe books clean." (had one poor bastard who spilled a diet coke all over the bottom shelf of the historical fiction section. **THIS IS WHY BOOKSTORES DO NOT ALLOW FOOD OR DRINK IN THEM. LEARN. DON'T BRING IN FOOD OR DRINK ANYWAY**)

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Kloie had this to say about Punky Brewster:
Demitri: http://suckerpunch.pulp.nu

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bah, Customers Suck > that

20% discount on store purchases, got to rent 5 free movies a week (Including ones that weren't even on the shelf yet)

I bought LOADS of previously played games from there while I was there.

Fal

I've been doing this for a couple years, and I've never enjoyed a job more. Just wish it didnt pay shit. But I do have quite a share of customer stories.

Ok, A while back, while working in a cheapass hotel. I have a guy walk in, rent a room, then leave. Doesnt even check the room. a couple hours later, he walks to the desk, and asks for change for a 20. I break the 20, he snatches the change, AND his 20 back, and turns to the girl behind her, says "Here's you money, that was fun" and then ran out of the hotel. He has the key. I have a half naked hooker, wearing a wet towel on her head, locked out of the room holding her clothes. I also have his drivers license, because I had to keep copies. Strangely enough, the police found him very soon. The Hooker gave me back the 20 he stole, saying her "Boy in Charge" would get it out of the guy. I let her go.

Same hotel, a couple weeks later. Two girls walk in. not attractive. Not smelling pleasant. Belly hanging out from under halter top, and drooping over the too-tight acid wash jeans. (Yeah, you saw her at the flea market) One walks to go inspect the pool. (Ewwww, thats gonna leave a ring) The other proceeds to offer me sexual favors in exchange for a room. I decline, explaining that somebody has to pay for the room. the keys are logged in the computer, and if she doesnt pay for it, I have to, which makes the blowjob a crime,(legally, and against humanity), and would make me a person who pays for sex. Sorry, no.

Camera on pool. Cheerleading squad, skinny dipping at midnight. That one was cool.

Breakfast time. The hotel serves free breakfast. Nice room, nice furnishings, pretty sign, that says proper clothing is required. An 80 year old man comes down, wearing boxers, and worn out slippers, with roses on them. He doesnt go into the breakfast room, because fo the clothing rules. But he reminds me that there is no such rule posted for the lobby. He continues to stand around, greeting people, telling random people stories about the big war. (Battle of Carthage, I think) That morning sucked.

Ok, those are only a couple, who's got a story that beats me?

Tal

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Talorynn had this to say about John Romero:
Camera on pool. Cheerleading squad, skinny dipping at midnight. That one was cool.

Who's got a story that beats me?

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I don't think you can beat that one...

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Talorynn had this to say about (_|_):
Breakfast time. The hotel serves free breakfast. Nice room, nice furnishings, pretty sign, that says proper clothing is required. An 80 year old man comes down, wearing boxers, and worn out slippers, with roses on them. He doesnt go into the breakfast room, because fo the clothing rules. But he reminds me that there is no such rule posted for the lobby. He continues to stand around, greeting people, telling random people stories about the big war. (Battle of Carthage, I think) That morning sucked.

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(laughs her ass off)

-if a employy is pushing a bunch of carts in the parking lot, dont help unless asked, and dont walk/drive/or any other mode of mvement infront of the carts, once we get them going, we cant stop.

-if an employee is bagging at a checkstand, dont go up to them and ask them to show you around or where somethign is, even thought we'll still do it, it ticks up off, and its rude to the person were baging for, cause we have to stop bagging their order and keeps them there longer, wait tll we're done.

-if were helpinganother costomer, dont come up to us and ask us were somthing is, its rude, and it could hurt our store core, cause we have people come in secretly asw shopers and grades our stores

-try not to make mess, and if you do, please let us know, just dont walk off,

-look at alot of dimitis dos and donts, they applie here too,

theres more but i have to go to work now, see ya

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Kolak had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
bah, Customers Suck > that

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OBivously haven't read any of it.

But seriously, if you have anything to contribute to Erin's zine, that'd be super.

however I can pretty much make a same list for were i do work -.-