Tales of Interplanar Romance
Our story begins with Drysart, who is busily reading the InterPlanar Personal Ads while eating his breakfast of choice, Ban Puffs. Suddenly, he stops and looks at a particular ad.
Drysart: *to himself* Hmm..."Lonely Slaad seeking companion for dinner. Great personality, good listener...GUARANTEED ACTION!"
The little high elf begins to dance around merrily.
Drysart: Yeehaw! That's for me!
A few phone calls and a trip to pick up a fly new outfit later...we find our star-crossed lovers having dinner at a classy InterPlanar Restraunt: "The Mumbling Modron".
Our scene opens as Drysart is watching his date, a towering ten foot-tall froglike humanoid with boney claws jutting from its kunckles, messily devour its meal.
Drysart: So...uhhh...you are a female, right?
Slaad: To tell the truth, Slaad are hermaphrodic. So technically, you could call me a female.
Drysart: I...see...so what are your interests?
Slaad: Oh, the usual...you know, annihilating the Githzerai on my native plane of Limbo...spreading chaos throughout the world while feeding my own brood...you?
Drysart: Oh, I'm a simple man with simple pleasures. (_|_), bannings, and pie...you know the rest.
Slaad: That's good...better than spreading disease with a mere touch at least. I should know!
*awkward silence*
Drysart: Uhh...it's getting kind of late, so I think we ought to call it a night...
Slaad: But you haven't gotten your guaranteed action yet!
Drysart: That's okay, really, I-
The Slaad suddenly cracks Drysart across the face with a clawed fist.
Drysart: Hey! What was that for?
Slaad: Your action. We Slaad reproduce by inserting our eggs when we attack other creatures, you see...
Eventually, we caught up to Drysart when he stopped running, and asked him about his experience with the InterPlanar Personals.
Drysart: Well, frankly, it all seemed a little awkward. I guess it wasn't so much the fact that she had laid her eggs in my bloodstream as it was the fact that I was afraid of committment, I mean, I've never really been a fathe-AAAAAAAAUGH!
Unfortunately, we had to cut tape as Drysart's skin began bursting at the seams and a little newborn Slaad began eating his innards. But we're sure, if he still had vocal cords, he would say he had a great time.
And so, another happy couple is made...thanks to...
InterPlanar Romance [ 11-13-2001: Message edited by: Mr. Parcelan ]
"Isn't it Beautiful?"
A/S/L/PN?
Just kidding. Nice one Parcelan. =D [ 11-13-2001: Message edited by: WaisztarrozBarrimas ]
Yes, that's right, hot live sex!
Slaads have feelings too!
What kind of dressing did you have on your Slaad?
Oh... that's Salad... well shit.. nevermind.
The preceeding statement was false..
George Carlin
