Number 2: If someone walks up to you and says, "Hey mate, can I bum a fag?", don't hit him. He was just trying to be friendly.
Number 3: Don't say the words "small" and "country" in the same sentence. If you do, make sure you're at least a mile from the nearest airport.
Number 4: The car is supposed to be that way. Don't act suprised. No one's broken into it and moved the steering wheel, there's no conspiracy against you.
Number 5: Don't say that your ancestors were French. Even if you're right outside the airport, you'll still die a horrible.. horrible, death. [ 11-05-2001: Message edited by: Mortious Shadowstalker ]
And are grotesquely overused montey python references permissable?
That was good. Should be on a billboard inside Heathrow.
*walks into a cheese shop*
WILL YOU SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOOKIE OFF!!
Just so I can ruin the joke, for those that don't know: "Can I bum a fag?" means "Can you spare a cigarette?". 
Edit: Bah.. someone saw it before me... posted in the same minute. [ 11-05-2001: Message edited by: Soldar ]
quote:
Mortious Shadowstalker had this to say about Cuba:
[QBNumber 5: Don't say that your ancestors were French. Even if you're right outside the airport, you'll still die a horrible.. horrible, death.[/QB]
What aboot Irish! Everybody loves them!
quote:
Mortious Shadowstalker stumbled drunkenly to the keyboard and typed:
Number 1: Don't ask people to slap your fanny, especially if you're female. Leave all other rump-related terms until after your visit.
Damn! 
Just kidding.
quote:
Mortious Shadowstalker had this to say about Optimus Prime:
[b]Number 5: Don't say that your ancestors were French. Even if you're right outside the airport, you'll still die a horrible.. horrible, death.
Not true for the channel islands, e.g. Jersey.
quote:
Star Collective had this to say about Tron:
Another thing, you need to remove the two periods after the first "horrible" and put the comma after the second "horrible" in their place.
Dude, it's not that big a deal. 
quote:
Star Collective had this to say about pies:
*continues to nitpick ad infinitum ad nauseum*
You forgot to capitalize the C! And...
*Looks up in the sky*
OH MY GOD! WHAT THE... It's a big chunk of irony headed right for us! RUN!
What's the difference between England and Briton?
England = The country, with borders alongside Wales and Scotland.
Britain = England, Scotland, and Wales.
United Kingdom = Britain and Northern Ireland.
quote:
Mortious Shadowstalker had this to say about dark elf butts:
Shilling? We stopped using them a long time ago
What about farthings and pounds and whatever? I've seen too many old british shows on the local BBC, heh
British currency is confusing.
Thanks for clearing up the whole Britain/England/UK thingy though [ 11-05-2001: Message edited by: Maradön? ]
That's all you need to know. There's no freaky coins inbetween. The only coinage we have are as follows:
1 Pence
2 Pence
5 Pence (new)
10 Pence
20 Pence
50 Pence
1 Pound Coin
2 Pound Coin (new)
Then there's the notes:
5 Pound Note
10 Pound Note
20, 50, 100, etc. etc. It's an easy system.
Just so I have a basis for comparison...
quote:
Maradön? wrote this stupid crap:
How much does a can of pepsi from a vending machine go for?
You know... I really have no idea. I haven't used a vending machine in eons.
quote:Money sure does weigh a lot in your country.
Mortious Shadowstalker had this to say about pies:
2 Pound Coin (new)
5 Pound Note
10 Pound Note
I remember being told long ago a movie was in the works and that series nine would be worked on after it is done.
quote:
Maradön? wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
Ah, another departure from the states. Damn things are humming around every corner on this side of the pond
Ditto, but then I'd have to go outside.
I don't want to...
quote:
Ford Prefect wrote, obviously thinking too hard:
Money sure does weigh a lot in your country.
Har har har
Actually, the old notes (I think the 20 was the worst) were HUGE. They barely fit in a normal size wallet, and even then.. they stuck out.
quote:
JooJooFlop had this to say about Jimmy Carter:
That reminds me, anyone know anything about either a Red Dwarf movie or a ninth series?
Holy smeg!
quote:
Check out the big brain on Maradön?!
What about farthings and pounds and whatever? I've seen too many old british shows on the local BBC, hehBritish currency is confusing.
Thanks for clearing up the whole Britain/England/UK thingy though
It was, until about 1960 something (I actually have no idea about the date, I might be way off) until the UK finally decided to switch to a simple decimal system, 100 pence = 1 pound. (Old system, 240 pence made a pound. You'll get a headache figure out where things like farthings, shillings, and gunieas fall in!)But old habits are hard to break, and you will still hear references to shillings and gunieas and the like. Just ask them how much pence that is, and they'll tell you.
Oddly enough, when I was in Belize, despite the fact they theoretically use dollars and cents there, I was told the price of a popsicle was a shilling. Turns out they meant 25 cents. Still have bad habits left over from when they were British Honduras. But at least they drive on the right side of the road.
In a store, ask for a pack of cigarettes, do not ask the clerk if you can have "20 fags"
also, in a crowded irish pub in NYC, do NOT look at the cigarette vending machine and exclaim "Oh look! A fag machine!"
that is all for now
-KD
quote:
Mortious Shadowstalker had this to say about Tron:
You know... I really have no idea. I haven't used a vending machine in eons.
about 50p
The Brits DO understand why Americans take offence at this offer. And they find it funny.
But, the biggest diff, is English, and British, as in language. They are basically the same, but theres a few things. Its hard to understand them Limey bastards, and when you look confused, THEY JUST DO IT WORSE. They also think this is funny.
But its easy to adapt to with a little work, and thought. Just picture them as a gnome. Change the sound of every other "o" you hear, to a flat "a" sound. And then, go over it in your head, think about how it would sound it YOU faked a Brit accent, and speed it up, and you know how they do it. Slow it down, and use the american sounds, and you got it.
knowwotImean?
Tal 
Most bartenders dont get tipped... thought that was crap myself.
If you plan on eating late, go the the store early as the only things open late are greek and thai places. Trust me even though at 4 am in the morning that beef looks good, its been sitting on that spit for days.
Driving is definately a two person job one to drive and one to look for signs, in the city look for street names on the buildings. Turnabouts are a driving course all to themselves.
Yes the beer is supposed to be room temperature...
Accents vary from north to south , dont worry if you cant understand them ,,, not all of them sound like James Bond.
Chewing tobacco, make sure you have it before you go into the country ,,,,never could find any there.
Morathu
55 wiz D.Ro.
quote:
Check out the big brain on Mortious Shadowstalker!
Number 5: Don't say that your ancestors were French. Even if you're right outside the airport, you'll still die a horrible.. horrible, death.
I think this goes for just about anywhere.
Damn French
quote:
Morathu RaThoth5 had this to say about Jimmy Carter:
Accents vary from north to south , dont worry if you cant understand them ,,, not all of them sound like James Bond.
Wha? Yow muyen youse can' undestand muy?
(bonus points if you can name the accent)
