The guests start coming in to see the happy couple say their vows of the evilisiously holy matrimony.
"Are you with the bride or groom sir?", spoke the attendant?
"Brains.....brains"
"Oh, you must be on the grooms side", said the attendant, "On your left."
More and more undead and gnolls come into the chaple and flock to their seats waiting anxiously for the couple to arrive.
Everyone turns around and sees the unholy knight himself, Mortious Shadowstalker. A think black aura trails behind him as he walks to the to the minister that is standing in front of an alter
"Let this joyous night begin!", spoken with the deep, mezmorizing voice of Mortious
"R-r-right away Mr.Sh-shadowstalker", mumbled the minister.
"Here comes the bride" starts playing
Ferrel walks in with a black wedding gown and a purple veil. She walks slowly across the blood red carpet layed out for this moment.
Mortious grinning as only Mortious can stares deeply into his beloved's eyes
"I have finally found someone for me who understands the real me", thought Mortious
"I have finally found the man of my dreams! I'm so happy! This is the greatest day of my life!", thought Ferrel
Ferrel and Mortious stand side by side, holding each others hands, gazing at one another
A quiet hush falls over the guests as the minister starts speaking
"Dear gnolls and undead, we are gathered here today to unite this..um..coup-le in holy ma.."
"AND UNHOLY!" interrupting the minister
"Y-y-yes...unholy as well, matrimony. If anyone thinks these people should not be wedded, please speak now or forever hold your peace."
A small muffle is heard from outside the chaple walls where a bound and gagged Mightion is getting pummeled by a few of Mortious friends
"No one? Anyone?", asked the minister. "*sigh*, Very well, Do you, Ferrel, take this...this.."
"Unholy knight of the evil dead", corrected Mortious.
"Right.", said the minister. "Unholy knight of the evil dead in sickness and in health, for greater or worse, for richer or poor, so help you God?"
"I CERTAINLY DO!", eagerly shouted Ferrel
"And do you, Mortio.."
"Yes" quickly replied Mortious
"Well then, by the power vested in me by God himself, I pronouce thee, husband and wife."
The minister turns to Mortious
"You may kiss the bride", said the minister.
Ferrel jumps onto Mortious, knocking him to the floor, and kisses him passionatly
"Let the unholy gnoll alliance be forever!", shouted Ferrel.
The undead and gnolls roar with excitement as Ferrel and Mortious walk out into a hearse and drive off with a "Just Married" sign attached the back
THE END
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
quote:
Peachis had this to say about pies:
She can't marry Mortious. She's already (mostly) married to me.
That is what I was aimming at...
MMMPH FMPHMM EMMMMM HMMMM!!
* struggle *
MMMMHPH MMMMM HMMM? PHMMM?
Nothing personal, you understand. 
A lithe human female, with long red hair, decked in a mixture of yellow, red, and white plate armor steps out of the shadows, and picks up the bound paladin and tosses him over her shoulder.
"I'm glad I finally found you brother," she murmurs as she staggers under the weight, "but you really gotta stop sticking your nose into these gatherings of evil alone..."
With that, the woman carries her burden down the trail back in the direction of Freeport.
"Pmmmhmm! Wmmmm hhmm ymmm bmmm?" Mightion says on her back.
"We'll discuss it later," she replied, laboring under her burden. "Oof... I should have brought more strength gear..."
"Cmmmm ymm plmmm tmhm tmm gmm omm?" he mumbles through the gag, still bound.
The red-haired female smiled. "I don't think so, dear brother... I like the quiet, and if I untie you now, you might run your fool righteous self back there and get yourself in more trouble. Now shut up until we get back to Freeport!"
Reaching into her pack with her free hand, she pulls out a blue potion bottle and takes a sip. Suddenly, her running speed increases twofold, and they disappear into the night.
Oooh, Im so happy. La la la...
Runs over to the table of gifts, hoping at least one is a new squeaky toy. Suddenly... she blinks and looks bewildered. Across the room, the Ghoul Enchanter is heard to remark.
Oh F**K as Your Dictate Spell has worn off.Crosses his mind.
What the heck? Exclaims the gnolless. In a beautiful desplay of charged particles, she summons her Templar's Armor to her. The plate covering the black gown.
Someone is going to pay...
She gathers her mana about her, her paws glowing. Lifting her paw, she shouts!
Legion of Gnolls, attack!
With a quick gesture and a few arcane words, the Ghoul Enchanter is reduced to dust, completedly destoryed wthout a trace. The gnolls, inspired by their queen, go into a frenzy and set upon the undead.
Gnoll Scouts! Get Mort!
A horde of tiny gnolls, all dressed like girl scouts bound towards Mort.
Victory! Then Divorce! Glad I signed that prenup that said I get everything if an enchanter was required for the wedding to happen!
Ferrel!
Ferrel! I'm here to help. Just give me a minute to find a fight that might challenge me a little!
*goes into a more controlled battle stance as he fights towards the stronger Undead.
cowers in fear
Ferrel!
[ 10-26-2001: Message edited by: Mr. Duck ]
IT'S CREAMING TIME!
Begins spraying whipped cream in all directions!
quote:
And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Mr. Duck was all like:
picks up mightion and sister as running away and punts them back to church in middle of fight
Shield of Godmoding Indifference Activated.
Post ignored.
(Sorry, Mr. Duck. Pacifica has made a clean getaway with her long lost brother Mightion.)
quote:i get it, its bad if someone hits you, but you can godmod hitting zephyer uncouncious, that makes sense
And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Mightion Defensor was all like:
Shield of Godmoding Indifference Activated.Post ignored.
(Sorry, Mr. Duck. Pacifica has made a clean getaway with her long lost brother Mightion.)
From the Inferno MTG card
hey i know the number of a good divorce attourney, but not yours, wanna trade?
quote:
Siliddar had this to say about Captain Planet:
<walks in and sends dracoliche pet/army of kloie soldier to go generally scare the bejezus out of mightitions sister by doing a lot of scary dracolicheish roaring, then makes back pick-up lines at ferrel and other female gnolls/undead>hey i know the number of a good divorce attourney, but not yours, wanna trade?
quote:i get it, its bad if someone hits you, but you can godmod hitting zephyer uncouncious, that makes sense[/QB][/QUOTE]
tallayan wrote this stupid crap:
[QUOTE]And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Mightion Defensor was all like:
[qb]Shield of Godmoding Indifference Activated.Post ignored.
(Sorry, Mr. Duck. Pacifica has made a clean getaway with her long lost brother Mightion.)
What Mr. Duck did was directly contrary to the reply that I made where Pacifica rescued Mightion. I used that post to "extract" Mightion from this SL because I did not feel I could contribute to it adequately since I'm at work.
I found this story funny - you didn't hear me screaming "godmoding" when Mightion was bound/gagged at the beginning, did you?
Mightion is my character, and I felt (and feel) justified in extracting him this way. If I were home I probably would have contributed more to this humor thread.
In full-fledged SLs I strive not to godmode. This is more a humor thread by Deli - I didn't react any different than Ferrell did.
Well, now that I'm here, let's get this celebra-... oh!
*notices the goings-on*
... well, damn. Ah, well, if I can't get smashed, I'm at least gonna have some fun.
*she snaps her fingers once more, and the champagne disappears, an ivory-handled rapier floating in it's place. With a hail of gold and pink sparkles, the pixie darts in, humming "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead"*
