Lowtax - Alright!
Pete - what are you doing on the internet
Lowtax - Cruising the virtual information superhighway
Pete - find anything interesting
Lowtax - Yes, a strategy guide for my favorite game, "Food Fight"
Pete - food fight? i have never heard of that game...what do you do in it?
Lowtax - Oh, it is most wonderous of video games! To be taking pies, lettuce, and tomatoes, then you throw them at chefs who try to attack you!!!
Pete - is it one of those dodgy mame games...you no the ones that are the really old arcade games?
Lowtax - YES I play those all the time at the airport because i used to clean out the ashtrays at the airport and i would play FOOD FIGHT and JUMP n BUMP!
Pete - are you still working at the airport?
Lowtax - NOo, I hate the airport now! I will never go back again
Pete - why? what happened?
Lowtax - VICTOR WEBSTER screwed me over. he took my job when i was working hard, but Mike LaRon decided to hire Victor over me because Victor didn't get locked in the parking garage all night like me
Pete - do you like the band primus?
Lowtax - NO. Hey where are do you live?
Pete - Brisbane.Queensland,Australia...where do you live?
Lowtax - California. I was just wondering, because there is something being strange up in the sky tonight and it does not look like a jet-car plane. i don't know what it could be
Pete - a cloud?
Lowtax - no, it is having red lights going flashing on the sides and i hear a humming noise!!! it is odd, maybe a helicopter?
Pete - the military might be doing experements...i hear they do that alot in USA
Lowtax - yes, i am near a base of the military. let me open my door and sees, is ok?
Lowtax - this my friend is odd
Pete - ok
Pete - what do you see?
Lowtax - There are triangles on the ground outside, they are orage! Do you are knowing what that measn?
Pete - what s the time there?
Lowtax - Midnight
Pete - no...what?
Lowtax - I dont know, but there are orange triangles on the ground and they are moving in circles and
Pete - pick one up
Lowtax - i am not going outside, my house has all the lights off, i dont think they can see me the triangles are light
Pete - what...are they made out off light?
Lowtax - I dont know, i am looking out the front window they are orange triangles on my ground, and they are moving in a circle around the lawn... they are going all around, like they are looking for some-thing. and there is a humming sound coming from somweher
Pete - how big are they?
Lowtax - Size of street signs i think like stopsign
Lowtax - they are moving around my fornt porch now!
Pete - do you have a pet? you better get it inside
Pete - do you have a gun?
Lowtax - YES, King, i forgot about my dog. he was barking outside before, but then i didn't hear any barking and i though he go to sleep. i dont know what is going on
Lowtax - why do i need gun?
Pete - if they attack you
Lowtax - yes, i may need to get that. oh, I am going to open up my door and see if my dog is there
Pete - be careful
Lowtax - OH this is weird. i opened the door and then all the lights were GONE and there is no more buzzing noise and itis quiet outside and dark
Lowtax - i dont know what si going on now
Pete - did you find king?
Pete - are you drunk?
Lowtax - no, no dog, he must have run off to somewheres i guess. but it is so quiet here noew, i can't hear anything.
Lowtax - no, i do not drink
Pete - you should ring the miliary and ask if they are doing any experiments
Lowtax - ok i will call now and ask
Pete - tell me what they say
Lowtax - MY PHONE DOES NOT WORK it worked before!!!
Pete - how come your internet is working?...that is fucking wierd
Lowtax - i dont know, i am on cable line for cable modem.
Pete - i see...if i was you i would make sure your dog is safe
Lowtax - ok, i will go out my door again and look
Pete - tell me when you come back if you found him
Lowtax - OH SHIT THERE IS SOMETHING OUT THER IN THE WOODS I COULD SEE ITS HEAD
Lowtax 2/23/00 1:11 AM I AM INSIDE HIDING BY MY COMPUTER I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO
Lowtax - I can still see hhim in the woods outside! he looks like a skinny old person with a big head or something and he is white!
Pete - see if he needs help
Lowtax - ok
Pete - tell me what he does
Lowtax - OH SHIT i went out there adn asked if hewas OK and he turned around an looked at me an HIS EYES WERE HUGE AND BLACK!!!!!! THEY WERE NOT LIKE NORMAL EYES SO I RAN BACK INSIDE and now the whirring noice is back
Pete - i would hate to be you now
Lowtax -M WHY? WHAT DO I DO>!>
Lowtax - WHO ARE THEY>!
Pete - get something and hit them
Lowtax - I have a gun in this desk, should i get it?!? WHO ARE THIS PERSON?
Pete - get it out and blast the fuckers
Lowtax - (I cant shoot them i dont know who they area!@@@ OH SHIT, THERE IS ORANGE LIGHT COMING THROUGH ALL MY WINDWS
Pete - go through the front door and run like hell...go to your neighboors
Lowtax - I DOnnt have any neiahgbors, i live out miles away from people in the desert!!! oh shit oh shit,,,,,,,,,,,, the orange is VERY BIRHGT!!! I think i see somebody outsife, let me look
Pete - ok
Lowtax - OH SHIT!@@@# THE MAN IS SMALL AND IS PALE WHITE WITH BIG BLACK EYES!!! WHAT IS WRONTGG WITH HIM! I HOPE HE DIDN"T SEE ME, i am back hiding again, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??? THEY DONT LOOK LIKE HUIMAN
Lowtax - BUT WHE ARE THEY HERE???? THEY ARE LOOKING IN MY WINDOWS! THEY HAVE BIG heADS THAT ARE SOLID WHITE WITH BLACK EYES THAT ARE DARK. THEY HAVE NO MOUTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING??????
Pete - shoot them!!!
Lowtax - I AM YELLING THAT THEY BETTER leAVE OR I WILL SHOT
Pete - you will be shoot?
Lowtax - MY GUN IS NOT SHOOTING!!!! THE BULleTS ARE NOT WORKING, IT WONT SHOOT
Pete - maybe you should clean it ...I dont no what to do?!!!?!?!
Lowtax - JUSTT TELL ME WHAT THESE PEOPEL ARE??? THEY DONT LOOK LIKE HUMANA, THE BODEIES ARE SMALL LIKE A BABY AND THEEYRE HEARDS ARE GIGANTIC WITH HUGE BLACK EYESS! WHAT IS GIONG ON?!?
Pete - if they are small...hit them with something
Lowtax - HOLY SHIT THEY ARE FLOATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAY ARE OUTSIDE AND THERE IS ORANGE LIGHT AND THEY ARE FLOATING!!!
Pete - shit...do something...shoot them
Lowtax - I CANT SHOOT THE GUN DOESNT WORK MY FRONT DOOR IS OPENING!!!!!!!!! AND I LOCKED IT!!!!!! tHERE IS A BUZZING SOUND COMING FROM EVERYTWHERES AND THE LIGHT IS COMING THROUGH THE WINDOWSSS@##
Pete - shit...get something you can use on them...like a bat
Lowtax - YES< i will get one OH SHIT!@@$ I CAN SEE SOMETHING FLOATING DOWN MY HALLWAY WITH A BIG HEAD THERE IS ORAGNE FOG EVERYWHERE
Pete - shit...do something...run, get out of the house
Lowtax - GOD THESE ARENT HUMANS@@#$%*() WHAT ARE THEY!!!!!!!! WHY IS THE ORAGNE LIGHT COMING FROM!?!?@???@
Pete - what are you going to do?!?!?!
Lowtax - I FOUND A BASRBALL BAT ANAD SHIT HERE THEY COME##__@#_( I AM GOI
Pete - what?
Pete - hello?
Pete - are you there?
Pete - are you ok?
Pete - r u ok?
Lowtax - /;.
Pete - what?
Lowtax - h e l p
Pete - what happened what can i do
Pete - do you want me to call 000
Pete - ok, i will go offline and call 000 for you
Pete - i called 000 but they wont believe me...what can i do?
Pete - are you alright?
Lowtax - hello, welcome to ICQ
Got it from http://www.somethingawful.com/spam/
Tons of other funny ones there, worth reading.
THIS SOMETHINGAWFUL SITE IS GREAT! IT IS FUNNY! I AM VERY SAD I DID NOT FIND IT SOONER SAY AROUND ONE YEAR AGO!
quote:
JooJooFlop had this to say about Pirotess:
That was funny?
Yes
"Happiness is what you make it be happy you are alive and are in good health. I AM"
quote:
Wachuchuu stumbled drunkenly to the keyboard and typed:
Aliens do not exist M'KAY
How do you know?
SOLYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE
