1. Rigor Mortis
2. A Rotting Smell
3. Occasional Drowsiness
It is also important to know what to do when you die.
1. Do not attempt to drive a car
2. Do not operate heavy machinery
3. Do not talk
Our program has been helping many families across Norrath. Here's a quote from one of those families: "We can never thank enough the United Appeal for the Dead. They taught us that despite the absence of life from our little Johnny's body, that didn't have to mean his absence from our daily lives. He's always courteous at the dinner table. He still loves to go to baseball games, and he loves to swim in our pool. Thanks United Appeal for the Dead! You turned our misery into happiness."
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"Well, isn't that special? Hi, this is Mortious Shadowstalker here. If you'd like to join the United Appeal for the Dead, I have a little appeal of my own. Despite millions of platinum in defense, I continue to be our nation's number one killer. The U.A.D. has taught me that despite the absence of life from my body, I can still carry out megadeath for Lady Death. I've already killed everyone east of Freeport!"
"Wow, Mort, you're such a swell guy. Hey, look at that vampire chic, hubba hubba. It looks like she wants you to go with her."
"No, Smiley. I have my eyes set on something special... NUKES! If Lady Death's going to make it back, we have to work faster!"
"Stop it, boss! You're sending shivers up my pin!"
"Well, hang on my lapel friend. It's going to be quite a ride!"
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One More Thing
What is it with burying the dead anyway? What kind of bigotry is this? I say, we bury the living! Let's see how they like it for a change! [ 09-23-2001: Message edited by: Mortious Shadowstalker ]
"In the box, buddy!"
"Kowai yo! Kowai yo! It's dark! It's cramped! I'm scared!"
"Heh, heh."
quote:
Originally posted by m0x:
Does the term Dead includes Undead?
Yes
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Parcelan:
I think you remind me of Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street.
Is it the garbage can on top of his head?
quote:
Originally posted by Karnaj:
Where's the nod to stopping necrophilia? I thought that that would be the impetus behind this thread...at least going by the title.
That would screw Mort, though.
No pun intended, I swear. Ok, yes, it was intended.
quote:
Originally posted by Bloodsage:
Looks like somebody saw The Kentucky Fried Movie!
THOUGHT I recognized that!
)
