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EverCrest Message Forums » EverCrest Forums » Innoruuk's House of Ill Repute » Time For the NEXT Match!
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Topic: Time For the NEXT Match!
King Parcelan
Chicken of the Sea
posted 09-20-2001 06:22:00 PM
Vilkommen to...

EVERCREST vs. THE MONSTROUS MANUAL!
"Delivering the best in degrading and foul-natured entertainment since Coleslaw Wrestling was banned!"

LET'S MEET OUR FIGHTERS!

In the EverCrest Corner...
BloodSage

Strengths
-Can make an argument about ANYTHING
-Difficult to defeat in any verbal contest

Weaknesses
-A crippling fondness for waffles

In the Monstrous Manual Corner...
Red Dragon

Strengths
-Near impenetrable scale armor
-Claws and jaws that put the Jabberwock to shame
-Godzilla got nothin' on this boy

Weaknesses
-Mentos

Everybody ready?

FIGHT!

Bloodsage hurries into the ring, panting like a dog.

Bloodsage: Sorry I'm late, everybody. Someone apparently thought it would be funny to set my house on fire.

Bloodsage eyes Red Dragon.

Red Dragon: I suppose you'll be wanting to borrow treasure from my hoard to buy that sense of humor, eh?

Bloodsage: Was that a challenge for an argument?

Red Dragon: I believe it was.

Bloodsage: Goodness, prepare to be owned.

Bloodsage immediately goes into a series of stretches, touching his toes, doing jumping jacks and otherwise warming up. After a few cricks of his neck, he looks up at Red Dragon.

Bloodsage: First of all, let me say that you're about as witty as aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAIEEEEEEE!

Red Dragon cranes his neck downwards and snatches Bloodsage in his jaws, swallowing the poor fellow whole. With a fiery belch, Red Dragon lurches upwards and roars in triumph! The crowd goes wild!

Bloodsage's Afterthoughts...

Bloodsage: Frankly, I think I can take pride in the fact that he was so afraid of arguing with me that he had to devour me whole. It just goes to show you who the really intelligent ones are.

Commentator snickers.

Bloodsage: What's so funny?

Commentator: Nothing *hee hee hee*, please continue.

Bloodsage: IT'S SOLID REASONING, DAMMIT!

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Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 09-20-2001 06:25:00 PM
Why am I not surprised that the dragon has won? =p
~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
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JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 09-20-2001 06:26:00 PM
That's almost as funny as that hippie being eaten alive on the Futurama episode "The Problem with Popplars".
I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
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Black
The Outlaw Torn
posted 09-20-2001 06:29:00 PM
That was funny. Quite funny.

You sir, are a poet.



Time was never on my side.
So on I wait my whole lifetime.
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Super Kagrama
ROFLELFOLOL!!!11!1 YUO CAN'T RAED MY POSTSSE!@!11
posted 09-20-2001 06:30:00 PM
MOST EXCELLENT!
i shoueld joeg threw the foreast moer offeand!!11
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Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 09-20-2001 06:30:00 PM
Not so much a poet as...a wordsmith.
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

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Black
The Outlaw Torn
posted 09-20-2001 06:37:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Karnaj:
Not so much a poet as...a wordsmith.
You sir...

*SMACK*

In the industry, we call those ciggarette burns.



Time was never on my side.
So on I wait my whole lifetime.
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Trent
Smurfberry Moneyshot
posted 09-20-2001 06:38:00 PM
ROFL
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Steven Steve
posted 09-20-2001 06:39:00 PM
Not to be a biatch, but I am surprised no one has been offended by these yet.
"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

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Soldar
I'll take two of anything, please. To go.
posted 09-20-2001 06:40:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by JooJooFlop:
That's almost as funny as that hippie being eaten alive on the Futurama episode "The Problem with Popplars".

"I think there was something funny in that hippy..."

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Saeadar
Pancake
posted 09-20-2001 06:42:00 PM
LMAO!
Saeadar Fyrestone
"Ignorance is bliss, but it isn't worth the price."
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Mog
not really a mmembe rof tis boered
posted 09-20-2001 06:44:00 PM
/fatcomicbookguy

Best episode ever

/fatcomicbookguy off


Regret calamities if you can thereby help the sufferer; if not, attend to your own work and allready the evil begins to be repaired
- Self Rreliance
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Aaron (the good one)
posted 09-20-2001 06:47:00 PM
Don't ever do me
Galbadia Hotel - Video Game Music
I am Canadian and I hate The Tragically Hip
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Khyron
Hello, my mushy friend...
posted 09-20-2001 06:49:00 PM
I think that's a wonderful invitation.

Parce?

I think Delid is the only being in here that would win against a monster. One gaze at the 'delid kissing himself' pic is easily enough to do 6d20+5 damage to anything in D&D...

Khrynn - Mage, Goon Squad, Mal'Ganis
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Otku
I am no longer an idiot.
posted 09-20-2001 07:08:00 PM
"Then the child said to his mother 'Mommy, make the bald man stop!" -the book of...bookly bookiness

[ 09-20-2001: Message edited by: Otku ]

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BetaTested
Not gay, but loves the cock!
posted 09-20-2001 08:50:00 PM
It's pretty funny Parce, good job, keep up the work.

Got Xfire? Join me in the crusade to knock WoW from it's lofty #1 most played Xfire game with Solitare!
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Maradon!
posted 09-20-2001 08:51:00 PM
I can't wait for me
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Mightion Defensor
posted 09-20-2001 08:56:00 PM
Hopefully, if I get done, I'll fight back.
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Tier the Genius™
Dark Elf Pimp
posted 09-20-2001 08:58:00 PM
Haha, I doubt I have anything particular to pit against a bestiary mob... Though... I challenge you to do a match of me, Parcelan!
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Palador ChibiDragon
Dismembered
posted 09-20-2001 10:09:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Parcelan:
Red Dragon cranes his neck downwards and snatches Bloodsage in his jaws, swallowing the poor fellow whole. With a fiery belch, Red Dragon lurches upwards and roars in triumph! The crowd goes wild!

Damn straight! It's good to see a win for the home team!

I believe in the existance of magic, not because I have seen proof of its existance, but because I refuse to live in a world where it does not exist.
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Bloodsage
Heart Attack
posted 09-21-2001 02:53:00 AM
ROFL!
To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

--Satan, quoted by John Milton

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Bajah
Thooooooor
posted 09-21-2001 07:21:00 AM
Dear heavens! Bloodsage laughed!

notates this on his calendar

hehe, keep it up Parce, these are great :P

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Bloodsage
Heart Attack
posted 09-21-2001 07:49:00 AM
To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

--Satan, quoted by John Milton

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