This guide is meant to help you along your way into becoming a friendly and productive member of society.
First of all, please read the basics of being a n00b:
Got that done? Good! You can read! You're halfway to becoming a great member of society! Now, just follow the following guidelines.
1. It's not your fault. In this day and age, a lot of introduction threads (threads made where n00bs introduce themselves) burst into flames for no particular reason.
For some unexplained reason, there's a LOT of fighting going on in some threads. Now, regardless of what others may say, it's not your fault. It's usually the underlying issues with many posters.
What you can do: Stay out of the flames. You've come, introduced yourself, and that's that. If someone's got a problem with you right off the bat, try to ignore it.
2. Neutrality is your friend! EverCrest is filled with a lot of issues these days. Some good, most bad. These bad issues usually devolve into great flaming heaps of magma.
An unprepared n00b can easily become roasted in these flames, thus forcing them to break down into tears and run away crying.
Many a headstrong newcomer has found his death at the gnashing jaws of seasoned veteran flame-warriors.
What you can do: Steer clear of these threads for now. And in the future, preferrably.
3. Got an opinion? Great! Don't post it yet. In addendum to the previous rule, you should also keep any thoughts or opinions that could possibly be taken wrong to yourself.
I know, this may seem like "OMG! evil nazi prairie dog wants to steal my thoughts!" but it's for your survival. Many old schoolers don't take well to young blood telling them what to do.
What you can do: Until you become an older, more seasoned veteran, steer clear of these threads and keep your thoughts to yourself.
4. You're new. Act like it. If you walk up to a group of strangers in RL and start acting like you're best friends, you're gonna get some strange looks.
Try it here, and you're gonna get eaten alive. This goes with the above rule, in that you should steer clear of matters best left to older members.
These matters include: Problems with other members, anything religious or political, and pretty much nothing light-hearted.
What you can do: Be comfortable with your n00b status. If you don't understand, few will fault you for it. Just don't act like you belong right off the bat, and you'll be alright.
5. Be Precise, Be Polite. If there's one thing that pisses everyone off, it's when someone comes in saying, "ROFLX!#$ gimme beer mah home33z, s;up for da piggeeis in da criz-ib!"
If you do do the above, two things will happen: the polite members will avoid you, the impolite ones will tear you apart.
What you can do: Make sure all your posts have a clear, concise point, and make sure they're all phrased politely.
Addressing older members politely (ie: say their name without adding "home33" to it), and offering your opinion to LIGHT-HEARTED AND NON-FLAMMATORY threads all help this.
6. Don't be a yes-man, yes-ma'am. We're not looking for someone who agrees with us all the time, we're looking for someone who can offer their opinion without being stupid.
What you can do: If there's a thread about what you like, post in it, following the guidelines to being polite and precise.
If it starts to get ugly, get the hell out of there and don't come back!
And that's about it for the n00b guide. If any older members have any advice to offer, feel free to.
Enjoy your stay at EC, n00bs! 
KEEP PERSONAL PROBLEMS TO SELF!
You may have problems, and that's alright, but we can't help you with that. If your dad hates you, your girlfriend dumped you, or your dog is a Republican, don't tell it to us.
Seek someone who can help. Because if you tell it to us, it's seen as angst. And angst is bad for you.
And also...
DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES!
If you slip up and make a fool of yourself in a thread, don't make excuses or try to defend yourself. Just apologize and drop it
Angst used to defend fuck-ups is seen as particularly bad...so it's a no-no.
Usually some of the tearing will include reasons why you're getting torn into, and that's a good cue to pick up the pace and change the way that causes that or your life in EverCrest will be a living hell.
Being hazed doesn't mean we'll always hate you. It's just a defense mechanism to keep some of the scum out, and if you aren't scum, you have nothing to worry about.
This thread needs stickyness.
[ 07-17-2002: Message edited by: Dr. Pvednes, PhD ]
Basically, this place isn't for everybody, and if you feel you don't fit in, don't try to, for the love of god. The boards are usually pretty casual, but they can be a good place for intellectual conversation too. Unfortunately, those threads are dangerous, because some people take them WAY too seriously, and one thing leads to another, and boom. It really is nothing against anybody, but whenever you have a large gathering of friends AND enemies, bad things are bound to happen. Thankfully, most of the time the issues resolve themselves. But it won't help if somebody who doesn't really understand the board dynamics walks in and starts telling everybody what they think we should do.
If there's one thing EverCrest has, it's strong personalities, and they tend to clash, and clash...personally. Sometimes, your input isn't really WANTED. You'll learn to accept this eventually. Feel free to offer your opinion, but if you get in trouble for it, don't go for the last word, because you likely won't get it. Just apologize, step down, and check out one of the other threads on the main page. That's how the really big arguments start, and it's sad, because a lot of them could be avoided if the poor "newbies" knew any better.
If the thread is merely a heated discussion, then by all means politely contribute. Another intelligent poster to spar with mentally is most certainly welcome by just about all of the bigwig debators here. But you just have to remember, we all started the way you're starting now, and while it isn't always fun, the fact is, we're not going to change well-established facts of life around here for you, so the door is always to your left if you feel like you don't fit in. Please DON'T try to go out in a blaze of glory. We get this a lot, and nobody really likes it.
Otherwise, try to have fun! That's what we're here for. [ 07-17-2002: Message edited by: Mr. Wilams ]
Lurk for a little (or long) while first, then start posting occasionally, and finally start posting more often. This will allow you to learn about the board's politics, cliques, and customs while also avoiding those horrible introductory board flames.
If you must post an introductory thread, you should always lurk for some time before posting at all. You'll have a nice happy introductory thread, instead of one of those flame ones.
Like this one.
Hello 
quote:
Hamster Mack Boo wrote this stupid crap:
i never got that hot live sex i orderd waisz, gimme bish
You're only getting it from Bajah. I'm just a big walking ad for him. [ 07-17-2002: Message edited by: Mr. Barrimas ]
For the children.
Thinking about your posts
(and billing you for it) since 2001
We just don't want to hear about how you have no friends and you hate your parents because they don't let you be independent enough.
quote:
ACES! Another post by Delidgamond:
This is a cause to celebrate!
quote:
Taeldian said this about your mom:
About the angst/personal problem thing Parce mentioned. . . we just don't want to hear about how you have no friends and you hate your parents because they don't let you be independent enough.
And as an addendum to the addendum, if you think dredging up stuff from your own life is bad, dredging up stuff from other people's lives is unbelievably bad. Like plutonium, it'll keep killing you for the next 250,000 years.
We are NOT (for the most part) professional Doctors/Lawyers/Marrage councilers/ect. The advice we give can be (and sometimes is) bad.
If you have a serious problem (ie. some strange medical problem), go see a professional. Even if we say it's Ok, you may still want to see a professional.
quote:
Delidgamond had this to say about (_|_):
Hi. My life sucks. I have no more reason to live. I am going to drink cyinide now. Good bye.Your Pal, Delidgamond
it's spelled CYANIDE
And grammar/spelling whoring is a bad thing; it's a filthy, repulsive habit second only to smoking.
No, Really. Bite me.
quote:
Callalron had this to say about Jimmy Carter:
And as an addendum to the addendum, if you think dredging up stuff from your own life is bad, dredging up stuff from other people's lives is unbelievably bad. Like plutonium, it'll keep killing you for the next 250,000 years.
I love you.
quote:
Palador ChibiDragon attempted to be funny by writing:
You can ask for advice on just about anything, but you must remember this:We are NOT (for the most part) professional Doctors/Lawyers/Marrage councilers/ect. The advice we give can be (and sometimes is) bad.
Some of us are professional Lawyers. Feel free to ask legal questions, but remember three things:
1. I don't know everything, just most everything;
2. If it's urgent, call someone near you. I don't always check; and
3. If you're relying on some guy on the Internet to solve you legal problems, you should consult a professional doctor or counselor.
Thinking about your posts
(and billing you for it) since 2001
quote:
Judge Gydyon had this to say about dark elf butts:
Some of us are professional Lawyers. Feel free to ask legal questions, but remember three things:1. I don't know everything, just most everything;
2. If it's urgent, call someone near you. I don't always check the board; and
3. If you're relying on some guy on the Internet to solve your legal problems, you should consult a professional doctor or counselor.
Thinking about your posts
(and billing you for it) since 2001
"Yeah, the best course of action is to send me some buffalo wings."
"Buffalo wings?"
"Yeah, with spicy sauce."
"Are you sure that will help?"
"DAMNIT, MAN! DO YOU WANT TO BE SENT TO THE CHAIR?!"
"But it's just a speeding ticket!"
"...dear God...it's more drastic than I thought. Make that two orders with your HOTTEST SAUCE EVER!"
Let that be an example to any new person.
quote:
Soldar was listening to Cher while typing:
I've been here around a year and third, and I've yet to get seriously involved in a flame war.Let that be an example to any new person.
Not anymore!
FUCK YOU BITCH!
quote:
Verily, Tier the Genius doth proclaim:
Not anymore!FUCK YOU BITCH!
The more often you agree with Parcelan and Parcelan-like creatures, the happier you will be.
Let us take a look at the graphs, shall we?
As you can see, the lines are representative of the levels of happiness you can possibly experience.
First Line: "I don't feel so good."
Second: "I could be doing better."
Third: "I'm alright!"
Fourth: "Wow! What a great day!"
Fifth: "I'm feeling better than sex!"
Now, the bars are representative of a few different categories.
Blue: People who agreed with Parcelan
Red: People who disagreed with Parcelan
Yellow: People with broken legs
Green: People who have pizza
Black: People who have MegaMan games
Purple: People who date guys named 'Pete'
As is clearly shown, the rise of happiness is concurrent with the agreement of Parcelan. Those who agree with him constantly feel an almost-orgasmic sense of well-being.
Those who do not, feel worse than people with broken legs!
Something to think about!
Damn shame, he was such a nice guy.
*goes to break it off with Pete*
In the beginning the Universe was created.Douglas Adams, 1952-2001
