Greetings one and all! I had meant to post this last night, but mistaken links made it impossible. So, I'll talk about it today!

First off, I was treated to no less than five new movie previews. The most promising being Star Wars Episode Two, and the new Austin Powers movie, Goldmember. There was also another that had Rebecca Romijin-Stamos and LL Cool J in it, so I assume that it's going to be a powerhouse.

Anyway, on to the movie. This is a hot topic, to be sure. I know many people who were or are wary of seeing it, because they fear that their own vision of Middle Earth will be tainted by a poorly done version, or even wiped away altogether by one too well designed. And this is a valid concern. For better or for worse, the worlds we picture in our minds are of special importance to us all.

To you all, I say the following. See the movie. You will not be disappointed. Go into the theater knowing that you will not be seeing your exact vision of the book. The only way you will see that, is to make your own movie. Go in expecting to see Middle Earth come to life. The scenery is simply breath-taking. New Zealand is Middle Earth. The acting is first rate, and with the casting arrow hitting a bullseye with each character. After seeing Ian McKellan as Gandalf, you'll wonder if the character wasn't written for him specifically. As for the story, it's true that there were a few changes. Before you cry foul, I have to say that nothing was changed that was vital to the story. Only one change upset me, and it had nothing to do with the overall story. The changes fit with the story, and don't seem out of place at all.

To conclude, I urge everyone to see it. I can say with certainty that I will be seeing it several times in the theater, and I almost never go to movies. It's truly a filmic event, and even milestone. (plus, I'd love someone to discuss it with. . .)

Now go get your tickets!

That big battle in the beginning is worth the cost of admission all by itself. Did that not kick the most ass, ever?! Legolas, also kicking more ass than... something that really kicks ass. I just kept thinking that those orcs must have conned grey to him with all those awesome one-shot kill bow shots he was pulling. Plus, that was the best Balrog I've ever seen.

Did I mention that I liked the movie a lot? 'Cause I did. A lot. As far as movies made from books go, this has by far done the best job I've ever seen. As Danwyn mentioned, they did leave out a lot and changed a few things, but it all worked great for the movie.

The funny thing was, there were more than a few people there who didn't seem to realize that this was the first of three movies. I heard several comments to the effect of, "What happened? Did he destroy the ring? What's going on?" Unwashed savages...

SPOOF: Everquest of the Rings.
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SCENE: Rivendell. Elrond is studying.

GANDALF: Ach! Damn it!

ELROND: Gandalf! Where did you come from? ... You're naked.

GANDALF: Stupid halflings who can't play their class, that's what happened.

ELROND: What? Where?

GANDALF: Moria. We were in the safe hall at Balin's Tomb and Aragorn was going to pull some orcs to clear the way to the zoneout.

ELROND: Which halfling messed it up? Frodo?

GANDALF: No, it was Pippin. I didn't even want to bring him along but Frodo did insist. Aragorn was going to pull some orcs but out comes Pippin to 'see what Aragorn was doing' and manages to aggro half the zone.

ELROND: So you got wiped out by a horde of orcs? Yuck.

GANDALF: Oh, no. They were green to most of us, so we cut through them all right. I was impressed by Legolas' bow crits. But then the Cave Troll got aggroed.

ELROND: But there were nine of you, you could have handled the cave troll.

GANDALF: Oh, and we did. Except Frodo didn't know how to manage aggro properly. The troll started beating on him.

ELROND: Oh, no. Poor Frodo.

GANDALF: No, actually, Frodo was fine. He had a mithril chain tunic on.

ELROND: Jeez, just because he's friends with Bilbo, does Bilbo have to twink him like that?

GANDALF: Yeah, no kidding. So the troll ran and Pippin of course forgets to snare.

ELROND: Aragorn's a ranger, why didn't he snare?

GANDALF: He was our main tank and was busy keeping the orcs aggroed on him. Pippin was just sleeping on the job. So the troll ran, and before we finally cut him down, he chain aggroed the Balrog.

ELROND: Oh, no. Stupid halfling dr00ds.

GANDALF: Yeah. So naturally, I decided to take it on the chin. I told everyone to run and I tried to hold off the Balrog by rooting him.

ELROND: And he got you.

GANDALF: No, actually, I had my shield up, and I just chain-nuked him.

ELROND: You SOLOED the Balrog? Wow.

GANDALF: Yeah, one hell of an XP hit too. But then when he fell, I turned and slipped off the ledge. I 10Ked when I hit the bottom of the Balrog pit. Didn't even have chance to loot his corpse. And there went the XP from the orcs, the troll, AND the Balrog. Stupid Verant.

ELROND: Your corpse is in the bottom of the Balrog pit?

GANDALF: Yeah. But no worries, I think I know a way to drag it out of there.

ELROND: That's good.

GANDALF: So, can I bum a SoW off you for a CR? I want to get back there before the Balrog respawns.

ELROND: This is Rivendell. We're high elves. The wood elves are in Lothlorien.

GANDALF: Nadgers. Which is where we were headed in the first place. Oh well, I'm a wizard at least, and there's a portal not too far from there.

ELROND: Good luck on your CR. Why were you hanging out with those noobs anyway?

GANDALF: I promised Frodo I'd powerlevel him in exchange for him completing the Cracks of Doom quest with me. He has the quest piece - the One Ring.

ELROND: That's NO DROP, isn't it.

GANDALF: Yeah.

ELROND: What do you get for completing that quest?

GANDALF: Robe of the White and Staff of the White. Those would be serious upgrades to my Grey robe and staff. I've had this gear for way too many levels anyway.

ELROND: Nice.

GANDALF: Anyway, I'd better go. Do you think you could get someone to go to the Moria zone to rez me once I get my corpse pulled there?

ELROND: I'll try to find a guildie.

GANDALF: Thanks.

(Exeunt.)

This completely unauthorized parody was brought to you by Relbeek Einre, 54th level hobbit dr00d, of the Brell Serilis server.

Thank GOD they didn't include the Tom Bombadil and Barrowright scenes. Damned thing would have run over four hours, at the very least. As it stood, there were unwashed heathens leaving the theatre at the 2 1/2 hour mark. I guess they're programmed to wander off if something holds their attention longer than the span of your average NFL game.

Wasn't Galadriel supposed to be... um... pretty? At least? I mean, Arwen had all over this girl. She looked like Gweneth Paltrow. Only worse.

Speaking of Liv... Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, maybe they re-wrote a good sized chunk of the book to give her more screen time, but I don't really care. As long as it's Liv, it's all good. Maybe they could get Reese Witherspoon to take the place of the Treants in Two Towers.

Incredible visuals in the movie. And I don't just mean the special effects, which were okayish (I mean, honestly, we're at the point in Computer Generated graphics where they look all the same.), but the backgrounds were incredible. Rivendel looked like Rivendel, Bag's End looked like a pretty great hole in the ground to live in, and Mount Dhoom was a vision of hell.

The wizard fighting was interesting, if not totally everything I imagined two all powerful wizards trying to kill each other to be. And I'm dissapointed Gandalf didn't attempt the classic "Blow up the other guy's head" counter.

All in all, it was a great movie. I can't tell if it's up there with the best I've ever seen yet, as I have to watch it four or five times to figure that out, and to be honest, I'm just not up to that for another couple days yet. Besides, a medium Sprite only gets one to the Dwarf halls..

I have seen the movie twice now, and I officially put it in the top five movies that I have ever seen. I've read the books four or five times now, so I have something to base it on.

About people not knowing that it was only the first in a series of three, I have heard that from many people too. When recomending this movie, I'm now asking people if they have read the book. If they say they haven't, I make it a point to tell them that the movie does end in kind of a "cliffhanger", and is continued.

I thought the casting was incredible. All the characters were really really close to what I imagined. Rhal, I'm not sure what you are imagining for Galadriel, but she was pretty close to what I imagined. I thought she was pretty, though maybe not pretty by Hollywood fanboy standards, but she was pretty by my own standards.

As for the omissions and discrepancies, I didn't really mind them, except for one. I wish they would have left the Glorfindel scene like it was in the book, instead of putting Arwen into it. Sure it didn't have much bearing on the story as a whole, but why do that, save only to get Liv Tyler into the movie? The only other change I believe I would have made is that I don't think they put enough emphasis on the fact that Galadriel has one of the rings. If you've read the book, you know that, but if you haven't read the book, I think it was hard to tell from the movie that she had it.

Overall, I think the movie was great even though they strayed here and there. I think the key was, even though they didn't stay exactly with the story, they managed to preserve the feel of the story.

I wish they would have put in Tom Bombadil and the Barrow Wights. That was a great part of the book, and I would not have minded sitting another hour at all. I hope they have secretly filmed that part and it somehow makes it onto the DVD, but I highly doubt that.

Well, I could talk for hours about it, but I gotta get back to work, things are starting to pile up.

*waves and answers the stupid phone*