Show Biz. The Silver Screen. I'm meant for it. I've never felt so much passion for anything, not even women or...games or anything. Believe me, when I'm tired I get pretty lurid with my dsecriptions of actions with females but...if I could just have myself a nice 35mm camera and some investors...I'd be on the road to Goodness.

Such is not the case. I want to be an actor so I participate in Drama. I'm well known by alot of people as a good actor and a good singer (Yes, Mr. Harmless has some skills not that I'll ever use them, but more on that later). My dream is to make movies in many ways. Direct, act, write. Those are what I intend on being. Again, such is not the case.

No one supports my dream. Not a single person. My friends do, but they are my peers and while it is nice to hear their support, it's not...as strong as for example, the support of family.

My father, I could never convince him to help me with it. He's too old and it'd just anger him to see how much we need to buy and stuff.

My mother, I think was beaten up my a director, actor and screen writer because she never supports me when I talk about movies. She doesn't understand it at all. While other teens are angry because their parents don't understand them, it's different for me. My parents understand me, just not my dream.

Which sucks. I want to badly to make movies. When I go see a movie, during the movie I look at scenes and place them in my pet project (Thirteen: A movie I would give up my cock to make). If I could raise 1,000 bucks before the summer, I could show her. I'd show her the cash and laugh right in her face and yell right at her "You were wrong and I could do it!"

Problem is this:

I'm not old enough to raise the cash at a real job. And everyone I know is not willing to pitch cash in. I can't go to my grandmother and say "Can I barrow $500? Or maybe just $200?". There is so much finacial strife during my parents divorce but don't write it off as "Oh, your mother is having trouble with money, that is why she is so negative towards you dream." No. Everytime I bring it up, she presents all the facts that make the job look like shit.

So then...just getting this all out. Not that I flame much. Anyhow..I'm off to read or something.

Ozius

Fucking bullshit. She took the assloads of work onto her shoulders on her own voltion. She wants to play Atlas? Fine by me, but I'm not gonna help her when the proverbial world starts to push down on her shoulders. She made the mistakes, not me. She shouldn't take it out on me.

Ozius

*hugs*

Hang in there, hon. And you should look into an after school job anyway. You may not save up by summer, but you could eventually get what you need. It's better than not doing anything at all.

And my mom and I are on and off. We talk about anything and she supports me but she seems so unwilling to encourage me when it comes to filming, and when I look for approval, I got to her.

In the past few months the worlds just been topsy turvey and it's not been a fun ride. Once the divorce is over, I hope our lives get back to normal.

Ozius

quote:

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hard technology rock stumbled drunkenly to the keyboard and typed:
every dream's payoff is equal to the amount of effort you invest in it.

---

You know that's idealistic bullshit. People pour their entire life into dreams and don't get jack for their effort, while others breeze through life with everything they could want and zero effort. The world sucks sometimes.

Good luck oz. I really hope you can work it out.

[ 09-15-2002: Message edited by: Archon ]

You do whatever you want with your life that will make you happy. That's the best thing you could possibly do. If you're not happy, and you don't make choices that make you happy, then you can't make others happy who are around you.

So take care of you, and what you want, and don't let anyone discourage you from what you dream about. Just go out and do it, and then sit back and feel proud you did.

On an up note, my father is willing to purchase this car, which would be my first:
http://www.classiccarmall.com/carsfs/sale2080.htm

That is after we drive up to Derry to check it out.

In the mean time, I am going to try and get my mother and father more into my making movies. Interestingly enough, my father was an actor and acting coach for a while.

Ozius

But damn, that car sure does look purdy.

(As you can tell, my mood as picked up. Looking at these cars makes me happy.)

Ozius

quote:

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This one time, at Archon camp:
You know that's idealistic bullshit. People pour their entire life into dreams and don't get jack for their effort, while others breeze through life with everything they could want and zero effort. The world sucks sometimes.

Good luck oz. I really hope you can work it out.

---

i'm hardly idealistic.

people pour their life into a dream and recieve no payoff because they fail to grab life by the throat and tell IT how it's going to be.

sometimes, you know, we all have to take life by the throat and show it who's boss.

and sometimes, it's hard.

either way, i refuse to believe that everybody is not in complete control of their life. "it's too hard" is an excuse. it's never too hard, when it's your life that's at stake.

Number 344*scratches that off* 7: Give Ozius money to make a movie, lob various talented actors/writers/other assorted filmy folk (mother's a screenwriter. The profession is hell.) at him. Bug him to mention me at the Oscars, whether that's because he's receiving one or he ran through the audience naked.

[ 09-15-2002: Message edited by: Nicole ]

Just something that happens and that people have to live with. It doesn't mean the person worked less hard than someone else doing the same. Just the way things go sometimes.

It's how you handle it that matters, though. I wish more people could be happy with what they have, instead of always lamenting what they don't have. Or barring that, at least not lament they don't have those things until they've tried to get them. Or change things to make things better for themselves.

That's not really the deal in Oz's case. He's going to do something about it, what he's limited to now, and what he can do later. He's only in his early teens (What are you now Frank, 15?) and he's limited in just what he can do at this point.

i may be wrong, i may be a moron. but it's what i believe. every action has a reaction, every dream has a conclusion. anything is possible, if the human will sets their sights on attaining it.

or so, that's what they say in the movies.

quote:

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hard technology rock wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
i'm hardly idealistic.

---

I didn't call you idealistic. I called the idea idealistic. I tend to avoid labeling people. I was going to argue, and had it all typed out, but i think it won't serve to help anything, much less oz. Sorry. On the other hand, oz, you seem a bright enough person to manage. I'm sure it'll turn out ok.

Not everybody always succeeds. Some do have to fail. The secret is to be happy with what you *do* accomplish. If you fail, then chalk it up to a learning experience, and get back on the horse and try again.

Just because someone fails doesn't mean they didn't try as hard as possible, at least how I see it. It just wasn't in the cards for them. But what I feel is important is how that failure reflects on their life. They can let it ruin their life, or they can move on, and learn from it.

eh, so i'm tenacious like a badger. but i wouldn't let anything get in my way--if the universe conspires against me, i'll conspire against the universe. failure is not an option.

But don't go bitter and mean and hateful if it never happens. Look at what you *have* accomplished, and what dreams you *have* made a reality. Work toward your goal, but don't let it end your life if it doesn't happen.

And it won't always happen. You could work your entire life toward something and fall just short. And that would suck, but it doesn't have to be the end of your life. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.

At least that's my philosophy in life. I don't have everything I want at this particular point, but I'm happy with what I *do* have, and what I've accomplished. I know to keep working at what I want to change, but I'm able to be content for the time being, knowing that in the future I'll be working toward my dreams.

It's not giving up. It's taking things in stride. And it's having a positive outlook on life, rather than a negative and pessimistic one.

[ 09-15-2002: Message edited by: Archon ]

HTR and I are politely and civilly exchanging ideas and viewpoints on a topic. That's discussion and debate. Arguing would be each of us insisting that our way is the only way, and I haven't seen either of us foray into those waters yet.

HTR's Friend: Actually, that is an idealistic principle. Sorry. =P
HTR's Friend: But..
HTR's Friend: I know that's not what the actual argument is about.
HTR: Well, I know, but I still think it's entirely true.
HTR's Friend: The problem is that the end result isn't always direct.
HTR's Friend: Say I dedicated my life to that dream of mine; dedicated it to making the world a better place, to making it a place of tolerance and peace.
HTR's Friend: I end up failing.
HTR's Friend: However, somewhere down the lien, the ideas I put forth end up being central to the world becoming a better place.
HTR's Friend: And the people I helped along the way are better for it.
HTR: See...that's not really what I meant, per say. Though I agree with that, there, just the same
HTR: I mean...personal goals. Passions of life. And I know that may be your passion, and what you want to do with yourself...but unfortunately, there's only one thing in the world I don't think I could defeat with my will and that's the will of 6 billion other peoples' will very set in their ways
HTR: But becoming x, or doing y, I think...is always in reach if you're willing to reach far enough.
HTR: So I'm an idealist.
HTR: It may not always be fun. Your goal in life may be to see the world, and even if you have to walk to do it, you still fucking can.
HTR: People use difficulty as an excuse, I use it as motivation.

my dad sits on the couch every day bemusing about how the world is an awful place, because he hasn't reached his dreams and he's stuck in dead-end jobs for money. and yet, instead of changing this, he searches for jobs in a lackluster manner, mopes around, and does nothing. he talks big, but never follows through. difficulty shouldn't be an excuse, and it is. it's hard, it's impossible...MAKE it possible.

and yes, i type better on AIM. don't ask. please.

and, this is just a friendly debate to me. if Oz asks me to stop, i will.

[ 09-15-2002: Message edited by: hard technology rock ]

quote:

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Lyinar Ka`Bael Model 2000 was programmed to say:
There's a difference between discussion or debate and argument, Archon.

HTR and I are politely and civilly exchanging ideas and viewpoints on a topic. That's discussion and debate. Arguing would be each of us insisting that our way is the only way, and I haven't seen either of us foray into those waters yet.

---

All right then. Correction: .....Can we stop this debate/discussion now? It's really not going anywhere and it's taking oz's thread with it.

quote:

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Archon had this to say about Jimmy Carter:

All right then. Correction: .....Can we stop this debate/discussion now? It's really not going anywhere and it's taking oz's thread with it.

---

i think it's going somewhere. it's intellectually stimulating.

quote:

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A sleep deprived hard technology rock stammered:
i think it's going somewhere. it's intellectually stimulating.

---

Ok. Have fun.

And I still have to disagree, HTR. It's not a matter of letting difficulty hold you back. Say you want to make the Olympics as a runner. But you get a disease that makes it impossible, because you've lost the use of your legs. Science doesn't currently have a cure, and despite grueling physical therapy, you just can't get your legs to run again.

You failed in your dream to become an Olympic runner. But not from lack of your effort. It was a circumstance you couldn't help. I fully believe that you should give your all in everything. But sometimes your all just isn't going to be enough.

[ 09-15-2002: Message edited by: Lyinar Ka`Bael ]

Sometimes you have to try really hard, sometimes not so much, and sometimes you just gotta break your back before you reach it, but I think anything is possible.

If circumstances prevent it, then I will change the circumstances. That's the key to reaching your goal.

If we save up, we could pay back my mother for the bid. And we'd have the equipment for make some real awesome movies (and I'd probably beg someone to host the movie on their web space)

My father and I are going to maybe purchase that car above for 9,500 and my mother has a bid on an old Sedan, Fordor from the 40's only at 1,775. Only 1 day and 14 hours left so let's just hope...

I am trying to do my hardest but it does seem like none one in my family wants me to follow my dream. Regardless, whatever I can do I will. I'm going to bust my ass.

Whatever I have to do.

Infact, if any of you are willing to invest in our movie making project, we'll send you any cash we make at showings. If it doesn't make any cash, we'll send you cash from our own pockets. Consider it a loan.

Really thought, if your willing I am willing to pay you back at a later date (so don't go crazy and donate 50,000 which I will never make in a life time).

I suppose if your interested contact me via PM. Thanks.

Ozius

quote:

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Lyinar Ka`Bael probably says this to all the girls:
I agree.

And I still have to disagree, HTR. It's not a matter of letting difficulty hold you back. Say you want to make the Olympics as a runner. But you get a disease that makes it impossible, because you've lost the use of your legs. Science doesn't currently have a cure, and despite grueling physical therapy, you just can't get your legs to run again.

You failed in your dream to become an Olympic runner. But not from lack of your effort. It was a circumstance you couldn't help. I fully believe that you should give your all in everything. But sometimes your all just isn't going to be enough.

---

well, maybe. your dream may be impossible, in a situation like that. but...i don't know. i just think, there has to be some way you can still accomplish something life-fulfilling even in that situation.

let's say i want to be a famous rockstar. i lose my hands so i, in theory, can't play guitar. i lose use of my vocal chords to cancer, i become blind from age, and lose 70% of my hearing in a car accident. so i'm pretty helpless. but i would find a way to accomplish my dream. i could make my music through another means, i can find SOMETHING that will work for me. something.

and so, i make my music, but nobody likes it. so what do i do? i find a way to get people to hear me. if they continue to dislike me? i will adapt to what they want, while staying true to my dream. i will continually be a thorn in the music community's side, until they acknowledge my existance. and then i am complete.

quote:

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Everyone wondered WTF when Humble Parcelan wrote:
I am of the opinion that anything is within reach if you try hard enough.

Sometimes you have to try really hard, sometimes not so much, and sometimes you just gotta break your back before you reach it, but I think anything is possible.

If circumstances prevent it, then I will change the circumstances. That's the key to reaching your goal.

---

amen, my brother.

can i call you my brother? bro?

I'd keep my passions alive, so if one day there was a cure, I'd be ready for it. Just giving up is just plain bad.

quote:

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Everyone wondered WTF when hard technology rock wrote:
amen, my brother.

can i call you my brother? bro?

---

You can call me Ray...and you can call me Jay...

But on the issue of a fulfilling life. If you think you've lived a fulfilling life, you have. If you've done what makes you happy, and you're happy, then that's all that matters really.

If you can't realize your full dream because of circumstances out of your control, at least you tried. You did something toward what you wanted, and you gave it your all. That's fulfilling right there, and something to be proud of.

I fully agree, HTR, on giving your all. If you don't even try, then you have no right to complain. But on the flip side, it won't always happen. The key is being happy with what *was* able to be accomplished.

[ 09-15-2002: Message edited by: Lyinar Ka`Bael ]

I hate math.

P.S. Paying off the 372 with manual labor. See? I'm working for what I need. If only damn props didn't cost so much...

Ozius

[ 09-15-2002: Message edited by: Ozimander ]