The Care and Feeding of your pet Pixie - EverCrest Message Forums

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Topic: The Care and Feeding of your pet Pixie

Solstyce

Vampiric pixie that might eat your face, if you're lucky

posted 01-01-2002 03:37:41 PM

Congratulations on your choice of adopting a pixie! Pixies are very fun loving, joyful pets to have, and if treated right, can live and spread joy in your life for up to 5000 years! However, a pixie who's been ill-treated can rebel in ways that aren't really nice to say. I mean it. These things are vicious litt-... ahem. But here, we'll be telling you the do's and don'ts of owning your very own pixie, so hopefully you can avoid the horrible, horrible fate that awaits you if you treat one of these things wrong.

FEEDING YOUR PIXIE

Pixies enjoy a wide variety of foods, from popcorn to pixie stix. What most people don't realize, however, is despite their small size, they really have quite an appetite. Most pixieowners make the mistake of assuming, like most pets, pixies need one meal a day. These pixieowners, if they're luck, are rewarded by simply being transformed into furries. Worse has been known to happen. In extreme cases, if your pixie is malnourished, she'll go to extreme lengths to get food. What most people don't realize is that a nice, juicy face is a delicacy to pixies. Many neglectful pixieowners have woken up to be surprised at their loving pet chomping away at their face.

You should be able to buy pixie feed commercially, but beware, a pixie is an intelligent creature and will be able to tell when you're feeding her something cheap. By far, their favorite treat is pixie stix, and they should usually be kept as a reward for a good deed. If fed too many pixie stix, however, a pixie may come to beleive they deserve them, and will beat up small children for their candy. If a pixie gets like this, it's best to discipline them, which shall be explained in the next chapter.

DISCIPLINE FOR YOUR PIXIE

Unlike most pets, a stern spanking WILL NOT deter a pixie from bad behavior. Instead, the pixie seems to enjoy this and it should be used as a reward for good deeds instead of a punishment for bad ones. Many pixieowners make this mistake only to find their pixie beating up children and the elderly with a smile on their face, anticipating their next spanking. Also, typing your pixie up, whipping it, shackling it, even caging it is seen as a reward and will not deter your pixie from bad behavior.

Pixies do, however, respond well to denial of treats. Cheap feed, no daily luvvin's, no pixie stix, all these things put your pixie in a melancholy state and assure it that it did something BAD. Beware, however, some pixies have been known to react badly to discipline and strike back. Horribly. So it's a good idea to keep your pixie confined while disciplining it, else it might do something hideous to you something... no, no, too horrible to say...

TRAINING/HOUSING YOUR PIXIE

Strangely, all pixies come potty-trained, and instead of *cough* releiving themselves like most other pets, pixies shed a gleaming, golden powder known as pixie dust. Don't let this make you think that pixie dust is a "dirty" thing, it still has extraordinary properties and refusing a gift of pixie dust could enrage your pixie, and you don't want that.

When pixies are usually aquired by owners, they are in a wild state, and should be allowed to fly at will around the home and get used to its new surroundings. A pixie may wreak holy havoc while doing so, but if a pixie is uncomfortable with its surroundings, it has a tendency to set them on fire. Pixies are very fond of setting fire to anything they're not familiar with, so after making a major purchase, of, say, a stereo, computer, tv, game console, you should allow a few days for your pixie to play with your new toy and grow used to it, and allow your pixie whatever time it needs after the fact to grow comfortable with it. If a pixie simply cannot grow used to something, it's best to get rid of it, or else the fire will come.

Pixies should have a cage to sleep in, but not be confined to. Pixies tend to take confinement very, very badly, and if locked in one place for too long will quickly go about customizing it to their needs or often destroying it entirely. Many a pixieowner has been surprised by their nice, expensive pixiecage having been turned into a miniature strip bar overnight, but then again, most pixieowners don't really mind.

Your pixie's cage should come well-stocked with those things pixies find so neccessary to life: ample amounts of food, water, alcohol, male slaves, insects, Bondage Fairy comics, whips, chains, and shackles. A pixie will consider its cage its "home", and will often aquire anything it needs that it hasn't been provided with. Often this "aquiring" means "taking things that don't belong to it then leaving it for the owner to sort out", so please make sure your pixie is happy.

LUVVIN' YOUR PIXIE

Along with proper feed, housing and discipline, a pixie requires a healthy amount of love. If a pixie senses that its owner isn't luvvin' it properly, it will get irate, depressed, and withrdrawn. Symptoms of this state may be seen in your pixie refusing to play with its toys, writing depressing poetry, and dressing like Domino. Subtle hints and often overt screamings of your affection for your pixie is the only medicine that will work, in this case, and it must be administered often.

Pixies require a large amount of luvvin's. Some owners never seem to understand that this is a requirement, not simply something that would be nice. Also, some pixieowners are a bit hazy on what constitutes "luvvins". A luvvin is a show of affection, a playful and loving display of love and happiness directed at your pixie. Most luvvin's include hugging, snuggling, pouncing, playing, purring, tickling, kissing, and joyful romps under the bedsheets. A healthy amount of luvvin's should ensure a happy, healthy, and joyful pixie.

ENJOYING YOUR PIXIE

Pixies like sex. That's all that I think needs to be said.

Shhh. Everyone will hear us. Everyone will know.