quote:
"Do you sell mod chips?"Go ahead, ask me what I sell.
"What do you sell?"
I sell video games. What a stupid question.
"What does a mod chip cost?"
Apparently one of us isn't keeping up.
"What do you mean?"
If I sold you a mod chip, then you would never buy a game from me ever
again. And that would be very much in opposition to my being able to run a
profitable business."I just want one to play copied games."
What? Do I look like an idiot? What the hell did you think I thought you
wanted it for?"err?"
Exactly. Now look, if I were to sell you a mod chip I would lose you as a
customer. Now, if I were going to lose you as a customer I'd rather do it on a
high note like setting you on fire. At least then I would have some
satisfaction of a job well done."I'm leaving!"
But I haven't set you on fire yet!
teh funney! http://www.actsofgord.com/
Thanks to whoever it was in IRC that put up the link... sorry I can't remember who you are! 
quote:
Person walks in and decides he really wants to rent Resident Evil 3. So he goes up to the rental cases on the wall and sees that they are all rented. But that didn't deter him! He took off a rented tag and moved that tag onto another game, then proceeded to bring the game to the counter."I'd like to rent this game please."
I'm sorry, all the copies of Resident Evil 3 are out.
"Then you owe me a free rental!"
And why is that?
"Because this game was untagged and you made me waste my time. I really wanted to rent it."
It was only untagged because you untagged it.
<pause>
"No free rental?"
No free rental.
Teh funnie!!!
I can't believe that there are people that stupid...
Wait, can I take that last sentence back?
I worked at a blockbuster video store for 8 months.
People are very stupid. Ill post stories later.
The renter claimed no knowledge of how could have possible happened as he guarded it with his life and only those worthy of my praise could have possibly touched it.
The Gord billed his credit card $60 for repairs.
lol, this site is great
quote:I find this very humorous.
And the winner of the tournament won the controllers what were opened for the tournament (worth $80), and $20 in cash. Second place was a can of coke and an autographed picture of Gord. Third place was $20.The Gord likes to remind people that second place is just the first loser.
"You're not a customer."
"I'm leaving."
quote:The Densetsu is pleased with the Gord.
"Could you order me in a copy of Final Fantasy 9 from Japan? I don't want to wait till it comes out here.""Uhm, sure. It'll be about $95 for a new copy imported from Japan, and it'll take about two weeks."
Game arrives, customer buys, and customer returns.
"Hey! I can't read the game! It's in Chinese!"
"Actually, it's in Japanese. Being it's a Japanese game, for Japanese gamers, in Japan."
"I can't read it."
"Well, just what did you think the game would be in? English?"
"They should be."
"I'll let them know."
quote:
"So what's wrong with your PlayStation?""Well, it was working one day, and then today it wasn't. Could you fix it?"
"I guess I can take a look at it."
"Can you do that right now?"
"uhm, sure, I guess."
Gord opens the PlayStation up.
"Well, there is your problem. A retarded monkey with a soldering iron tried to put in a mod chip. I'd like to say I've seen a worse soldering job, but I'd be lying. Usually soldering doesn't cover an entire chip in solder."
"Uhm I didn't do that."
"I never said you did. I blamed a retarded monkey."
"So how did that happen?"
"A retarded monkey with a soldering iron."
"But if just stopped working."
"Do I look like the morality police? I can install a new motherboard for you. I've got them in stock."
"Could you also chip it for me?"
"I asked do I look like the morality police, not do I look like an idiot."
And I spread it like wildfire last night, you prolly got the link from, say, Zeph?
Maybe.
quote:
How the brilliant know more than the Gord. In the store there is a rather large projection TV, and how these enlightened individuals warn the Gord about how he is going to be cast down into the depths of hell for playing games on it.Normally a quick "well, it was a problem back when TV's were new and all we had to play was Pong" or "only if you own an RCA, which are half the price for a reason."
But once this particularly annoying person wouldn't shut up about the forthcoming damnation the Gord was to experience.
"Oh god! Nooooooo!" screamed the Gord as he grabbed the fire extinguisher and hopped the counter. He then books it to the back and unplugs the TV from the power bar, than dives behind a couch for a second to see if there was an explosion.
"Well, that was close! I've been running that TV for 3 years without a problem. Had you not walked in and warned me about the dangers of projection screen TV's, I surely would have been killed in the explosion that was about to occur."
<dramatic pause>
"I'm only acting retarded, what's your excuse?" queried the Gord.
The young advice columnist left.
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
