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Author
Topic: open your eyes
Mr. Parcelan
posted 11-03-2010 09:31:54 PM
oh, i see

your eyes are open

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 11-04-2010 08:21:52 AM
Your book, upon a second reading, holds up really well. I still love Gariath.
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Steven Steve
posted 11-04-2010 10:57:21 AM
Sounds like an autobiography
"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

Mr. Parcelan
posted 11-04-2010 03:17:07 PM
Excerpts from the second book are going up today, I think!

No Gariath, but Lenk does have an evolutionary argument with a talking monkey.

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 11-04-2010 09:48:05 PM
I kinda hope that Asper starts whoring it up.

Oh, who am I kidding. I totally hope for that.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Steven Steve
posted 11-04-2010 09:54:21 PM
Is that some sort of adolescent girl?
"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

Zair
The Imp
posted 11-04-2010 11:05:19 PM
Second book? I'd better get reading the first one. I bought it, then it got lost in my huge 'to read' pile.
Greenlit
posted 11-04-2010 11:19:03 PM
It was a very solid read, I'm looking forward to Sykes finishing up the second.
nem-x
posted 11-04-2010 11:33:59 PM
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 11-05-2010 02:43:54 PM
quote:
Steven Steve screamed this from the crapper:
Is that some sort of adolescent girl?

Not really adolescent. More like someone having a crisis of faith. The way I see it, she can either become hopelessly depressed, or a nihilistic whore. I hope for the latter, but I'll have to wait.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Number 1 Poster
posted 11-06-2010 06:03:38 AM
quote:
nem-x wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
give me a free book

So that he may say "I have a book"

Blindy.
Suicide (Also: Gay.)
posted 11-06-2010 07:41:44 AM
Wait you wrote a book?
Mr. Parcelan
posted 11-06-2010 11:02:05 PM
yes
Katrinity
Cookie Goddess!
posted 11-07-2010 01:13:28 PM
Tome of the Undergates, right? I'll have to check it out soon.
Cookie Goddess Supreme
Furry Kitsune of Power!
Pouncer of the 12th degree!
"Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv'iornw hqxoxon targh!"
Translated: "Sell your soul for a cookie?"
Blindy.
Suicide (Also: Gay.)
posted 11-07-2010 07:39:34 PM
Is it any good?
Mr. Parcelan
posted 11-07-2010 07:43:32 PM
Well, the reviews are mostly good. It's basically broken down into people who loved it, people who didn't like it but aren't ready to write off the series and that one guy on Amazon who gave it a one-star review because he had to buy a copy instead of getting one from my publisher.
Mr. Parcelan
posted 11-07-2010 07:44:16 PM
Karnaj and Bajah both went berserk for it and Sean said it was good, though.

SO IDK MAN

Blindy.
Suicide (Also: Gay.)
posted 11-07-2010 07:44:29 PM
Yeah I just read that guys review. He seems like a dick.

So what do I have to do to get an autographed copy?

Random Insanity Generator
Condom Ninja El Supremo
posted 11-07-2010 08:26:12 PM
quote:
Mr. Parcelan had this to say about Pirotess:
that one guy on Amazon who gave it a one-star review because he had to buy a copy instead of getting one from my publisher.

Wait... was he some kind of "professional reviewer" for Amazon or some other big-time publication review? If I ever got a copy from a publisher I'd be shocked shitless.

Now not getting a copy direct from the author, well I can see where that would piss him off. I mean, seriously, it's some words on paper. You fuckers can get off your ass and do more than that.

* NullDevice kicks the server. "Floggings will continue until processing power improves!"
-----------------------------------
"That was black magic, and it was easy to use. Easy and fun. Like Legos." -- Harry Dresden
-----------------------------------
That's what playing Ragnarok Online taught me: There's no problem in the universe that can't be resolved by the proper application of daggers to faces.
Greenlit
posted 11-07-2010 09:49:33 PM
quote:
Mr. Parcelan enlisted the help of an infinite number of monkeys to write:
Karnaj and Bajah both went berserk for it and Sean said it was good, though.

SO IDK MAN


It was thoroughly entertaining and a joy to read, but it was too short.

Mr. Parcelan
posted 11-08-2010 12:35:32 AM
quote:
This one time, at Blindy. camp:
Yeah I just read that guys review. He seems like a dick.

So what do I have to do to get an autographed copy?


Buy a book, PM me for an address, send it over and I'll send it back?

Wait... was he some kind of "professional reviewer" for Amazon or some other big-time publication review? If I ever got a copy from a publisher I'd be shocked shitless.

Now not getting a copy direct from the author, well I can see where that would piss him off. I mean, seriously, it's some words on paper. You fuckers can get off your ass and do more than that.

He's a blogger for a North American site who is shocked (shocked) that he had to import a copy from the UK instead of waiting for it to come out in the States.

In general, the publishers give away ARCs or at least free copies to bloggers to generate buzz. However, that tends to be fairly limited by region. The book came out in the UK first, so this guy decided to buy it there instead of waiting for it to come out in the US. This apparently was a grave insult.

Or maybe he really, really hates pee jokes. I can't say. Karnaj fucking loved that scene.

Blindy.
Suicide (Also: Gay.)
posted 11-08-2010 09:19:00 AM
Holy crap Karnaj likes potty humor?
Katrinity
Cookie Goddess!
posted 11-08-2010 07:41:57 PM
Bought it today and about a dozen pages in so far. It is an interesting read as far as I've gotten into it but I'll reserve final judgement until I complete it.

One thing though that just made me go "Really? REALLY?! Come on, seriously..." was a little bit of the descriptive blurb on the back of the book: "and Kataria, the savage shict who farts in her sleep,". So I take it the rest of the book is going to be crammed full of pee and poop jokes, huh?

Cookie Goddess Supreme
Furry Kitsune of Power!
Pouncer of the 12th degree!
"Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv'iornw hqxoxon targh!"
Translated: "Sell your soul for a cookie?"
Mr. Parcelan
posted 11-08-2010 08:18:00 PM
Hah. Not quite. There are certainly more than you might anticipate for a fantasy novel and I probably went a bit overboard on occasion.

That was actually my dad's suggestion to put in and I did because my agent needed something to put in his catalogue and I thought we'd change it later.

Oops!

The pee joke is more pee philosophy, anyway.

Random Insanity Generator
Condom Ninja El Supremo
posted 11-08-2010 09:37:33 PM
"She farts in her sleep. A lot. Leave a window open if you share a room at the Inn to avoid dying in your sleep."
* NullDevice kicks the server. "Floggings will continue until processing power improves!"
-----------------------------------
"That was black magic, and it was easy to use. Easy and fun. Like Legos." -- Harry Dresden
-----------------------------------
That's what playing Ragnarok Online taught me: There's no problem in the universe that can't be resolved by the proper application of daggers to faces.
Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 11-08-2010 09:41:42 PM
Yep.

Just like Kat.

Katrinity
Cookie Goddess!
posted 11-08-2010 10:43:26 PM
For that, Mort, you get a Dutch Oven!
Cookie Goddess Supreme
Furry Kitsune of Power!
Pouncer of the 12th degree!
"Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv'iornw hqxoxon targh!"
Translated: "Sell your soul for a cookie?"
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 11-09-2010 08:28:03 AM
quote:
And now, we sprinkle Mr. Parcelan liberally with Old Spice!
Hah. Not quite. There are certainly more than you might anticipate for a fantasy novel and I probably went a bit overboard on occasion.

Fuck that. One of my pet peeves in fantasy literature is the implication that everyone is not filthy, hairy, bags of disease with horrible personal hygiene.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 11-09-2010 11:05:58 AM
quote:
Karnaj said:
Fuck that. One of my pet peeves in fantasy literature is the implication that everyone is not filthy, hairy, bags of disease with horrible personal hygiene.

If you're into this IRL too, simply attend a furry convention.

Random Insanity Generator
Condom Ninja El Supremo
posted 11-09-2010 10:45:38 PM
quote:
So quoth Mortious:
If you're into this IRL too, simply attend a <Insert Fandom Here> convention.

It's not just furries.

* NullDevice kicks the server. "Floggings will continue until processing power improves!"
-----------------------------------
"That was black magic, and it was easy to use. Easy and fun. Like Legos." -- Harry Dresden
-----------------------------------
That's what playing Ragnarok Online taught me: There's no problem in the universe that can't be resolved by the proper application of daggers to faces.
Damnati
Filthy
posted 11-10-2010 03:09:32 AM
quote:
And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Random Insanity Generator was all like:
It's not just furries.

No joke. Baycon's game room will kick out neckbeards who menace with funk; they have a big sign demanding that anyone with B.O. go back to their room and employ the shower.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Mr. Parcelan
posted 11-10-2010 05:08:42 AM
I've been pretty lucky in that I've not run into a lot of smelly folk at most of the cons I've been to.

There was this one time at World Fantasy when we were all riding down an elevator with some bridesmaids trying to calm down the groom for the wedding that was going to take place. It was me, some other author, and a rather hulking, hairy bookseller who, after three seconds of silence, said in a voice that could best be described as gutturally shrill...

"Ah say we toss the hot young studs out and divide up the women amongst ourselves."

No one reacted, so he said it again.

"Ah say we toss the hot young studs out and divide up the women amongst ourselves."

They got off a second later and disappeared. I was sort of freaked out about it.

Liam
Swims in Erotic Circles
posted 11-10-2010 11:14:34 AM
that was me.

you hurt my feelings that day parcelan

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 11-11-2010 09:53:38 AM
My other key hope is that there's a whole lotta fuckin' in the second book. Given how balls-out crazy the characters are, the results of their diseased lust are bound to be hilarious.
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

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