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Author
Topic: I tried to crank call Tarquinn
Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-11-2009 02:26:09 AM
Dude has one hell of a poker face.

I threw everything at him: false identities, zoophilia, necrophilia, pretending to be an INS agent, EVERYTHING. This routine pretty much made Maradon piss his pants when we crank called him, but Tarquinn has some unholy German mojo. Maybe it's his callous, brooding ancestry? Or perhaps this shit just isn't all that weird in Germany.

Any way, post your phone numbah here so Karnaj can crank call you.

Monica
I've got an owie on my head :(
posted 07-11-2009 02:33:46 AM
I'm pretty sure I made Tarquinn giggle, so I think I win.
Monica
I've got an owie on my head :(
posted 07-11-2009 02:48:43 AM
Also, perhaps if you had wanted to get to him you should have tried the same routine you did on me - telling him you wanted to get all up in his vagina.
Monica
I've got an owie on my head :(
posted 07-11-2009 03:09:58 AM
Also, I would like to publically apologize for breaking Karnaj's drunk dial streak of me also being drunk anytime I answer the phone when he calls. I hope the fact that I am heavily medicated on cold pills will take some of the bitterness out of such a loss.

I'm done now.

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 07-11-2009 03:29:24 AM
Tarquinn is a rock. Unshakeable. Sexy. Dangerous. Parce ain't got nothing for him, nor does anyone else.
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-11-2009 03:41:52 AM
O how swiftly allegiances change!
Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-12-2009 02:04:12 AM
quote:
Monica had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
Also, perhaps if you had wanted to get to him you should have tried the same routine you did on me - telling him you wanted to get all up in his vagina.

you complain, like, all the goddamn time

Monica
I've got an owie on my head :(
posted 07-12-2009 03:26:22 AM
I wasn't complaining! I'm just saying, that particular method was quite effective. I definitely laughed at it. Like a whole bunch.
Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-12-2009 07:24:36 AM
Well that's good, then.

Truth be told, Maradon is probably the best crank call victim in the world because no matter what you say, he busts out laughing.

True Story

I once was on AIM with CBTao when he was still living with Maradon and we concocted a conspiracy. I called Maradon up and screamed "LOOK BEHIND YOU!" and he did and CBTao was there to punch him in the face and he was giggling the whole time.

Legend says that the act awoke his savage lust for pain and the money he spends on being whipped and waxed upon has put seven dominatrices through med school.

Monica
I've got an owie on my head :(
posted 07-12-2009 09:54:23 AM
You know, for some reason, that doesn't surprise me.
Liam
Swims in Erotic Circles
posted 07-13-2009 06:31:11 AM
check dis out on facebook i throw someone ok its cool

wooo

Goma
Pancake
posted 07-13-2009 10:04:45 AM
You forgot to mention how gay the other 90% of the video was.
Liam
Swims in Erotic Circles
posted 07-13-2009 10:31:45 AM
quote:
Goma got a whole lot of nerve:
You forgot to mention how gay the other 90% of the video was.

What is this, 1995 and BJJ is considered gay again?

Addy
posted 07-13-2009 05:58:07 PM
lol, facebook
Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-13-2009 06:29:12 PM
itt you are liam

/throws
/eats pasta
/is huge

Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-13-2009 06:30:00 PM
quote:
How.... Liam.... uughhhhhh:
What is this, 1995 and BJJ is considered gay again?

tbh, it does kind of look like you're forcing your will on this young man

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 07-13-2009 08:51:30 PM
RBO is the only chord that eludes me, for some reason. GYB is totally easy, so I have no idea what's going on there.
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Liam
Swims in Erotic Circles
posted 07-13-2009 09:02:22 PM
i eat entire cows

alive

Anakha's PS3
Pancake
posted 07-15-2009 09:27:01 PM
281-684-7850

Fire away, gents.

Bricktop
Old and Gay
posted 07-16-2009 11:12:42 AM
quote:
Anakha's PS3 painfully thought these words up:
281-684-7850

Fire away, gents.


I think they forgot to mention that we have to remember who you are in order for it to be fun.

A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent.
Azakias
Never wore the pants, thus still wields the power of unused (_|_)
posted 07-16-2009 06:22:49 PM
quote:
Bricktop's account was hax0red to write:
I think they forgot to mention that we have to remember who you are in order for it to be fun.

If anyone remembers me, I'd do it.

But I tend to not be a very fun person to prank call.

"Age by age have men stood up and said to the world, 'From what has come before me, I was forged, but I am new and greater than my forebears.' And so each man walks the world in ruin, abandoned and untried. Less than the whole of his being"
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 07-16-2009 09:01:04 PM
quote:
Azakias still thinks SARS jokes are topical, as evidenced by:
If anyone remembers me, I'd do it.

But I tend to not be a very fun person to prank call.


We'll be the judges of that.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-16-2009 10:25:14 PM
quote:
This one time, at Bricktop camp:
I think they forgot to mention that we have to remember who you are in order for it to be fun.

I'd crank call you.

But the last time I did, you called me the n-word.

Captain Tarquinn
Don't Ask
posted 08-04-2009 10:23:31 AM
quote:
Mr. Parcelan's fortune cookie read:
Dude has one hell of a poker face.

I threw everything at him: false identities, zoophilia, necrophilia, pretending to be an INS agent, EVERYTHING. This routine pretty much made Maradon piss his pants when we crank called him, but Tarquinn has some unholy German mojo. Maybe it's his callous, brooding ancestry? Or perhaps this shit just isn't all that weird in Germany.



Haarrrr.

Being drunk helped, I reckon.

Don't forget that signed copy for me!

quote:
Monica was listening to Cher while typing:
I'm pretty sure I made Tarquinn giggle, so I think I win.

Yes, you did. Also, while I dig your dialect, I had a hard time actually understanding you.

Being drunk, didn't help, I reckon.

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."
Monica
I've got an owie on my head :(
posted 08-04-2009 10:58:32 AM
lol

I was unaware that I had a dialect.

Fuckin Oklahoma.


I still think it was hysterical when I actually answered the phone and Karnaj was like, "Oh my god, she answered - she answered! Wait, are you drunk right now? Please tell me you're drunk."

Monica fucked around with this message on 08-04-2009 at 11:02 AM.

Mr. Parcelan
posted 08-05-2009 06:30:29 AM
I will sign it: "Die Mutters Der Spiegel."

"What?! That doesn't make any sense!" raves Tarquinn of Dresden.

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 08-05-2009 09:38:22 AM
quote:
And now, we sprinkle Monica liberally with Old Spice!
lol

I was unaware that I had a dialect.

Fuckin Oklahoma.


Your accent isn't that bad. You talk really, really, really fast.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Captain Tarquinn
Don't Ask
posted 08-05-2009 10:09:41 AM
quote:
Mr. Parcelan had this to say about (_|_):
I will sign it: "Die Mutters Der Spiegel."

"What?! That doesn't make any sense!" raves Tarquinn of Dresden.



quote:
Verily, Karnaj doth proclaim:
Your accent isn't that bad. You talk really, really, really fast.

Mine however, is.

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."
Bajah
Thooooooor
posted 08-05-2009 12:19:36 PM
I spent 5 months in Oklahoma once. On a dare, sort of.

They either talk really fast... or really slow. It was engaging.

Blood mixed with snow looks pretty cool, there was a fight outside of a pool hall once. This is a tangent, but related to my visit to Oklahoma.

Bloodsage
Heart Attack
posted 08-05-2009 01:55:50 PM
Your accent's not bad at all, Tarquinn.
To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

--Satan, quoted by John Milton

Monica
I've got an owie on my head :(
posted 08-06-2009 12:44:31 AM
quote:
Karnaj said this about your mom:
Your accent isn't that bad. You talk really, really, really fast.

I have a short attention span and I get excited easily! That isn't my fault!

I also don't think you're the best judge because any time you've ever called me it's because you're plastered. And 9 times out of 10, so was I. So really, both of us are incomprehensible.

Monica fucked around with this message on 08-06-2009 at 12:45 AM.

Rodent King
Stabbed in the Eye
posted 08-06-2009 01:33:07 AM
I'm breaking into this thread to let everyone know that Zair and I will be in Vegas later this month. If anyone's in the nearby area and wants to hang out with a pair of 24 year olds (And my fiance) drop a line.

Also, I'm game for random phone shenanigans. 847-269-2215

My inner child is bigger than my outer adult.
Mr. Parcelan
posted 08-06-2009 04:54:17 AM
Confirming that Tarquinn's accent is not bad, as I heard with crystal clarity how he described fucking his uncle.
Captain Tarquinn
Don't Ask
posted 08-06-2009 01:30:52 PM
quote:
Check out the big brain on Bloodsage!
Your accent's not bad at all, Tarquinn.


quote:
Mr. Parcelan's fortune cookie read:
Confirming that Tarquinn's accent is not bad, as I heard with crystal clarity how he described fucking his uncle.

Thanks.

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."
All times are US/Eastern
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