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EverCrest Message Forums » EverCrest Forums » Innoruuk's House of Ill Repute » I need a woman.
Author
Topic: I need a woman.
Hefner
Pancake
posted 04-14-2003 01:47:08 AM
My name is Matt Hefner. Hugh Hefner, as you all know, created PLAYBOY. He is my uncle. Now I know that you will not believe me, but it is the truth. But anyways. I'm a fun-loving, average "Joe" kinda guy, and every average "Joe" kinda guy needs a beautiful woman by his side. I'll understand if you lovely ladies out there want to fight over a handsome guy like me. I'll wait.

Thanxx.

Call me Hugh. Please.
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Ocyrrhoe Trazere
Bootylicious!!
posted 04-14-2003 01:48:38 AM
teehee.
"Come at me. Every inch of me will resist you."

Full sigpic image.
Liam - "Caitlin: You terrify me, but in a good way."

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Bloodsage
Heart Attack
posted 04-14-2003 01:48:47 AM
I vote "dumb n00b."
To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

--Satan, quoted by John Milton

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sigeA ihpleD
.raewrednu ruoy tuoba gnihtynA .gnihtyna em ksA .elcaro ehT .thgir s'tahT .ihpleD
posted 04-14-2003 01:48:54 AM
Flames in four.. three. two..
.tniop doog ylriaf a edam ihpleD :hteD
.tniop yreve no tcerroc %001 si ihpleD :suiraD
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Khyron
Hello, my mushy friend...
posted 04-14-2003 01:49:06 AM
Did you know that there's a scorpion on your crotch?
Khrynn - Mage, Goon Squad, Mal'Ganis
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Densetsu
NOT DRYSART
posted 04-14-2003 01:49:17 AM
quote:
Ocyrrhoe Trazere got all f'ed up on Angel Dust and wrote:
teehee.

Is this your doing?

I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl, we ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over, and over?
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Steven Steve
posted 04-14-2003 01:49:37 AM
Prove it.
"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

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Death of Rats
Pancake
posted 04-14-2003 01:49:46 AM
Sits back in his couch with his kettle corn as he watches the bombs about to fall and the vats of acid being pulled out, Ohhh, Pre-game show!
A particularly crafty sea lion is befuddling the Army Corps of Engineers, who have come to believe the 1,000-pound mammal is either from hell -- or from Harvard.
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Ocyrrhoe Trazere
Bootylicious!!
posted 04-14-2003 01:49:56 AM
quote:
This insanity brought to you by Rurouni Densetsu:
Is this your doing?

No, thank god.

"Come at me. Every inch of me will resist you."

Full sigpic image.
Liam - "Caitlin: You terrify me, but in a good way."

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Black
The Outlaw Torn
posted 04-14-2003 01:50:41 AM
quote:
The logic train ran off the tracks when Hefner said:
Thanxx.
Noxx Problemxx!xx

Edit - This guy can't be serious.

[ 04-14-2003: Message edited by: Black Mage ]



Time was never on my side.
So on I wait my whole lifetime.
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nem-x
posted 04-14-2003 01:52:00 AM
Yeah, this is crap.
Nem-X - :kittyjig: :: THEY'RE OH SO FUZZY AND CUTE!
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Sean
posted 04-14-2003 01:52:16 AM
quote:
Rurouni Densetsu had this to say about Robocop:
Is this your doing?

Nah, there's one big problem with that.

A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left.

It's not something people hear about.
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Densetsu
NOT DRYSART
posted 04-14-2003 01:52:47 AM
quote:
Ocyrrhoe Trazere stumbled drunkenly to the keyboard and typed:
No, thank god.

Okies.

I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl, we ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over, and over?
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V
Pancake
posted 04-14-2003 01:54:01 AM
quote:
Gimmick posters and throwaway accounts, unless intensely humorous, will be banned and shot in the face if at all possible.
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Black
The Outlaw Torn
posted 04-14-2003 01:54:37 AM
It's alive! IT'S ALIVE.

First post in three months. Someone was taking their sweet time.

[ 04-14-2003: Message edited by: Black Mage ]



Time was never on my side.
So on I wait my whole lifetime.
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Hefner
Pancake
posted 04-14-2003 01:55:51 AM
Alright. You caught me. (like it was that tough) I like saying that. But I do need a lady. I feel so..alone. Like...for way too long, now, I just have been getting this feeling like I need someone. And its been gnawin' at me forever now. All I want is for that feeling to at least diminish...that's all.

And by the way, my last name is Hefner. And people do ask me if we're related, so I say 'Yes. See him all the time.' Even though he is like my God, and I only wish I could shake his left hand.

Call me Hugh. Please.
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ChezCPimp
Pancake
posted 04-14-2003 01:59:01 AM
Who the hell does this guy think he is?
That has to be one of the biggest piles of shit I've ever heard!
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it. Damn
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Taskmaster Bajah
Pancake
posted 04-14-2003 02:03:54 AM
quote:
ChezCPimp had this to say about (_|_):
Who the hell does this guy think he is?
That has to be one of the biggest piles of shit I've ever heard!

Accounts used by XX.XX.XXX.XX

Member 397: Za’afiel (login: XXXXXXX) [Other IPs for this User]
Member 5753: GimpSihm (login: XXXXXXX) [Other IPs for this User]
Member 5772: ChezCPimp (login: XXXXXX) [Other IPs for this User]
Member 5778: GimpSim (login: XXXXXXX) [Other IPs for this User]
Member 5801: Hefner (login: XXXXXX) [Other IPs for this User]

Gimic accounts, unless intensely funny.... unlike this one.... Creating a new account and then trying to jump in on some kind of 'flame bandwagon' does not make you look cool.

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Random Insanity Generator
Condom Ninja El Supremo
posted 04-14-2003 02:04:18 AM
Bravo... you have managed to include yourself in the section of population that I despise the most. There with you are skr1pt k1dd13z, "AOL is the internet"-users, and the turd I flushed about 15 minutes ago.

I hope you enjoy the turd...

* NullDevice kicks the server. "Floggings will continue until processing power improves!"
-----------------------------------
"That was black magic, and it was easy to use. Easy and fun. Like Legos." -- Harry Dresden
-----------------------------------
That's what playing Ragnarok Online taught me: There's no problem in the universe that can't be resolved by the proper application of daggers to faces.
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Steven Steve
posted 04-14-2003 02:04:44 AM
quote:
ChezCPimp said this about your mom:
Who the hell does this guy think he is?
That has to be one of the biggest piles of shit I've ever heard!

Wow, you're fuckin cool!!

"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

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Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 04-14-2003 02:14:40 AM
Kikkake was better.
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

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King Parcelan
Chicken of the Sea
posted 04-14-2003 02:58:53 AM
This doesn't make sense, B!
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Trent
Smurfberry Moneyshot
posted 04-14-2003 03:02:54 AM
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha....

hehe.

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Blindy
Roll for initiative, Monkey Boy!
posted 04-14-2003 06:56:40 AM
quote:
ChezCPimp probably says this to all the girls:
Who the hell does this guy think he is?
That has to be one of the biggest piles of shit I've ever heard!

WOW! YOU LOSE!

On a plane ride, the more it shakes,
The more I have to let go.
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Ryuujin
posted 04-14-2003 08:58:55 AM
quote:
Iron Parcelan had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
This doesn't make sense, B!

I echo this.

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Nina
posted 04-14-2003 09:13:09 AM
The solution to all your woman problems... Become your woman.
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Blindy
Roll for initiative, Monkey Boy!
posted 04-14-2003 09:42:30 AM
The sad thing is, this man was once hamster mack boo, and people actually liked him! Then he changed his name and it all went down from there.
On a plane ride, the more it shakes,
The more I have to let go.
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Drakkenmaw
Crunchy, tastes good with ketchup
posted 04-14-2003 09:44:58 AM
Anklebitur D'Gnome. I remember when you followed that name, and were a funny - if random - person.

Jesus, what the hell made you think this was a good idea?

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Gikk
SCA babe!!!
posted 04-14-2003 12:16:50 PM
... And with 3 accounts?

What, were you trying to go down in a flaming pile of shit?

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Khyron
Hello, my mushy friend...
posted 04-14-2003 12:31:58 PM
quote:
LOG was listening to Cher while typing:
Accounts used by XX.XX.XXX.XX

Member 397: Za’afiel (login: XXXXXXX) [Other IPs for this User]
Member 5753: GimpSihm (login: XXXXXXX) [Other IPs for this User]
Member 5772: ChezCPimp (login: XXXXXX) [Other IPs for this User]
Member 5778: GimpSim (login: XXXXXXX) [Other IPs for this User]
Member 5801: Hefner (login: XXXXXX) [Other IPs for this User]

Gimic accounts, unless intensely funny.... unlike this one.... Creating a new account and then trying to jump in on some kind of 'flame bandwagon' does not make you look cool.

I love you, Log!

Have my babies!

Khrynn - Mage, Goon Squad, Mal'Ganis
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Urban Ninja
Pancake
posted 04-14-2003 12:32:20 PM
Mine too! OMG! BANDWAGONBANDWAGON!@#$%@
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Khyron
Hello, my mushy friend...
posted 04-14-2003 12:38:11 PM
quote:
And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Jared was all like:
Mine too! OMG! BANDWAGONBANDWAGON!@#$%@

Two things :

NUMBAR ONE : I had no idea my alt account has been here two years. That's kind of cool. Silver name

NUMBAR TWO : Drysart! Can you please make it so that we can edit our alt-account's posts? I changed the display name at the top, but I don't want to try to dig through my e-mails to find the password to edit it.

Khrynn - Mage, Goon Squad, Mal'Ganis
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Burger
BANNED!
posted 04-14-2003 12:55:23 PM
well, if you really need a woman, try: www.lavalife.com www.date.com

and all those other online services.

Bite me.

No, Really. Bite me.

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Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 04-14-2003 01:14:08 PM
quote:
Hefner said:
I need a woman.

I need several.

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Burger
BANNED!
posted 04-14-2003 01:15:35 PM
quote:
How.... Baron Von Mortay.... uughhhhhh:
I need several.

see my previous post (not kidding)

Bite me.

No, Really. Bite me.

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Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 04-14-2003 01:19:46 PM
They're not the kind I need.

Fem-burgers are growing popular, I require more meat.

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Freschel Spindrift
Caucasian
posted 04-14-2003 02:40:14 PM
Now I know for the multiple accounts, he loves it when he gets his face dipped in a vat in acid.
Who's that crazy kook that's destroying the world. It's Zorc (That's me) It's Zorc and Pals.
Bakura: Did you forget our anniversary, again? (laughter)
Zorc: Yes, I was busy destroying the world (laughter) Slaughtering millions. (Laughter)
Bakura: That's my Zorc.
The blood of the innocents will flow without end. His name is Zorc, and he's destroying the world.
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BeauChan
Objects in sigpic may be hammier than they appear
posted 04-14-2003 04:24:50 PM
Endured by EC for over 7 years and counting...
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Zaza
I don't give a damn.
posted 04-14-2003 04:25:40 PM
Wow, you're a moron. Congrats!
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