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Author
Topic: Dear Abby
Black
The Outlaw Torn
posted 08-02-2001 08:34:00 AM
Dear Abby,


I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a
suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestie.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Jersey City.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The
other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of neglecting his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and, indeed, is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. Her time there is limited, however, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and, hopefully, the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course, I want to be totally
honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who voted for Bush?

Signed, Worried About My Reputation

[EDIT:teh funney is now hur hur hur(typos too)]

[ 08-02-2001: Message edited by: Black Mage ]



Time was never on my side.
So on I wait my whole lifetime.

Black
The Outlaw Torn
posted 08-02-2001 08:35:00 AM
I bold/italic-ed the parts that complete the joke. Enjoy.

[edit:i can spell hur hur hur]

[ 08-02-2001: Message edited by: Black Mage ]



Time was never on my side.
So on I wait my whole lifetime.

Alleria Qui'farush
Chica!
posted 08-02-2001 08:36:00 AM
ROTFL!!!
Evercrest News Network
This.... is ENN
posted 08-02-2001 08:37:00 AM
Heh, if anyone needed the joke emboldened, then they need help in more ways than your elite text bolding skills can offer
NO ONE BREAKS NEWS LIKE WE DO!
BetaTested
Not gay, but loves the cock!
posted 08-02-2001 08:37:00 AM
.... what was the response from Abby?

Got Xfire? Join me in the crusade to knock WoW from it's lofty #1 most played Xfire game with Solitare!
Black
The Outlaw Torn
posted 08-02-2001 08:39:00 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Fixer Upper:
Heh, if anyone needed the joke emboldened, then they need help in more ways than your elite text bolding skills can offer

quote:
Orginally posted by BetaTested:
.... what was the response from Abby?

I rest my case.



Time was never on my side.
So on I wait my whole lifetime.

BetaTested
Not gay, but loves the cock!
posted 08-02-2001 08:43:00 AM
I haven't had my coffee yet this morning

Got Xfire? Join me in the crusade to knock WoW from it's lofty #1 most played Xfire game with Solitare!
Dead Tired
Is usually a girl
posted 08-02-2001 08:43:00 AM
LOL, damn man, that was good.
Maradon!
posted 08-02-2001 08:46:00 AM
But when people make cracks about Clinton they're accused of harassing him about his personal life.

Democrats. Go figure

Black
The Outlaw Torn
posted 08-02-2001 08:47:00 AM
Maradon, it's a joke dammit. Don't turn this into a political debate.


Time was never on my side.
So on I wait my whole lifetime.

Synjari
Warrior Princess
Cookie Seraphim!
posted 08-02-2001 09:47:00 AM
I liked Clinton and I like Bush. *smile* That all aside, that was cute *pokes BM*
"Villiany wears many masks, none of which are more dangerous than virtue." - "Sleepy Hollow"
Vorbis
Vend-A-Goat
posted 08-02-2001 01:09:00 PM
I like making fun o' presidents. If they're working for me or even TRYING to work for me, I reserve the right to make fun of them!
All times are US/Eastern
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