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Topic: Swine Flu Quarantine Thread
Mr. Parcelan
posted 04-27-2009 09:56:18 PM
Which one of you has swine flu? To stem the outbreak, we must shove you in this thread until the calamity has passed.
Brahmin Bloodlust
High Priest of Drysart
posted 04-27-2009 10:00:55 PM
I think Steve is the swine flu. He just went to mexico and had a grand ole time ending the lives of many. And decided to have fun on his way back home.
Number 1 Poster
posted 04-27-2009 10:22:41 PM
What the?! How'd my post end up here!

nem-x is SUPER gay fucked around with this message on 04-27-2009 at 10:22 PM.

Bricktop
Old and Gay
posted 04-28-2009 01:07:08 AM
I had one of the strippers at work convinced she might have Swine Flu when she complained about being sick.

She had never even heard of it so I exagerated a few details.

A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent.
Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 04-28-2009 01:37:26 AM
I don't have flu, but I am a swine.
Trent
Smurfberry Moneyshot
posted 04-28-2009 03:10:25 AM
so Mort, how's your .... sister.
Sakkra
Office Linebacker
posted 04-28-2009 03:19:07 AM
oh man oh geez I had some bbq pork yesterday what am I gonna do?
Suddar
posted 04-28-2009 04:02:55 AM
I have bought into the media hysteria on this one. CNN tells me it kills 20-50 year olds. Quick, everybody wash their hands.

Suddar fucked around with this message on 04-28-2009 at 04:03 AM.

Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 04-28-2009 04:04:52 AM
quote:
Suddar said:
Quick, everybody wash their hands.

I'm OCD, so I'm way ahead of you.

Every ten minutes.

`Doc
Cold in an Alley
posted 04-28-2009 08:04:04 AM
This whole thing could really screw with my vacation plans.
Base eight is just like base ten, really... if you're missing two fingers. - Tom Lehrer
There are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that! - Tom Lehrer
I want to be a race car passenger; just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..." - Mitch Hedberg
Please keep your arms, legs, heads, tails, tentacles, pseudopods, wings, and/or other limb-like structures inside the ride at all times.
Please submit all questions, inquests, and/or inquiries, in triplicate, to the Department of Redundancy Department, Division for the Management of Division Management Divisions.

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 04-28-2009 08:43:38 AM
quote:
Suddar still thinks SARS jokes are topical, as evidenced by:
I have bought into the media hysteria on this one. CNN tells me it kills 20-50 year olds. Quick, everybody wash their hands.

It responds to antivirals. Since you're white and live in a rich nation, if you got the flu, the odds of you (or anyone who's white and lives in a rich nation) dying are extremely low.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Captain Tarquinn
Don't Ask
posted 04-28-2009 08:43:51 AM
quote:
Verily, `Doc doth proclaim:
This whole thing could really screw with my vacation plans.

Same here.

But I'm utterly optimistic that there will something left of the east coast in two months.

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."
Steven Steve
posted 04-28-2009 08:55:13 AM
Oh no, not (gasp) a flu

This is the greatest threat to mankind's survival

What the fuck are we gonna do now

Game over man game over

"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

`Doc
Cold in an Alley
posted 04-28-2009 09:39:49 AM
quote:
Previously on Planet Captain Tarquinn...
Same here.

But I'm utterly optimistic that there will something left of the east coast in two months.


I'm more concerned at this point that certain national governments over on your side of the pond are considering full quarantine measures. Hopefully the tourist industries won't let it come to that.
Base eight is just like base ten, really... if you're missing two fingers. - Tom Lehrer
There are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that! - Tom Lehrer
I want to be a race car passenger; just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..." - Mitch Hedberg
Please keep your arms, legs, heads, tails, tentacles, pseudopods, wings, and/or other limb-like structures inside the ride at all times.
Please submit all questions, inquests, and/or inquiries, in triplicate, to the Department of Redundancy Department, Division for the Management of Division Management Divisions.

Maradon!
posted 04-28-2009 09:51:14 AM
On the other side of the international date line they're still panicking over avian bird flu, though.
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 04-28-2009 09:58:20 AM
Oh, so that's how it happened.
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Captain Tarquinn
Don't Ask
posted 04-28-2009 10:03:09 AM
quote:
Karnaj had this to say about Knight Rider:
Oh, so that's how it happened.

No, this is how it happened.

Edit: Kinda NSFW.

Captain Tarquinn fucked around with this message on 04-28-2009 at 10:03 AM.

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."
Maradon!
posted 04-30-2009 03:08:50 PM
I'm willing to bet another pizza that the swine flu doesn't amount to more deaths annually than the regular flu, which claims about 30,000 worldwide.

Swine flu's score for this year so far is 7 deaths worldwide, according to the world health organization, with verification on an eighth (the first US death) still pending.

Maradon! fucked around with this message on 04-30-2009 at 03:09 PM.

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 04-30-2009 03:54:56 PM
quote:
Maradon! got served! Maradon! got served!
I'm willing to bet another pizza that the swine flu doesn't amount to more deaths annually than the regular flu, which claims about 30,000 worldwide.

Swine flu's score for this year so far is 7 deaths worldwide, according to the world health organization, with verification on an eighth (the first US death) still pending.


Actually, it's 30,000 in the US, and about 250,000 - 500,000 in an average year. And this strain is so far responding well to two of the most widely available flu antivirals, and I understand that a vaccine could be available in as few as three months, due to several new methods for more rapidly growing the virus.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Zair
The Imp
posted 04-30-2009 04:00:30 PM
No guys, we should obviously be panicking and closing our borders.


nem-x
posted 04-30-2009 04:12:57 PM
time to move to madagascar
Maradon!
posted 04-30-2009 04:36:22 PM
Jesus christ the original flavor flu kills a lot of people.
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 04-30-2009 04:47:07 PM
quote:
Aw, geez, I have Maradon! all over myself!
Jesus christ the original flavor flu kills a lot of people.

Well, it kills a lot of young, old, and immunocompromised individuals, mainly through secondary infections like bacterial pneumonia. It does also kill some young, healthy people, but those deaths are generally the anomaly. Assuming that the flu shot you get is correctly adjusted, however, most people generally have a very good shot of avoiding the flu nowadays.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Mightion Defensor
posted 04-30-2009 05:02:55 PM
Aaaaa-choo.

* sniffle *

Number 1 Poster
posted 04-30-2009 10:54:57 PM
Petition to ban Mightion starts here
--------------------------------------

Delidgamond - April 30th, 2009

Inferno-Spirit
Sports Advocate
posted 05-01-2009 12:36:14 AM
quote:
Karnaj wrote this stupid crap:
Assuming that the flu shot you get is correctly adjusted, however, most people generally have a very good shot of avoiding the flu nowadays.

The flu shot lowers your chance of infection by less than 5%.

"He lets the last Hungarian go, and he goes running. He waits until his wife and kids are in the ground and he goes after the rest of the mob. He kills their kids, he kills their wives, he kills their parents and their parents' friends. He burns down the houses they grew up in and the stores they work in, he kills people that owe them money. And like that he was gone. Underground. No one has ever seen him again. He becomes a myth, a spook story that criminals tell their kids at night. 'If you rat on your pop, Keyser Soze will get you.' And nobody really ever believes." - Roger 'Verbal' Kint, The Usual Suspects
Ares
posted 05-01-2009 12:43:36 AM
quote:
Inferno-Spirit impressed everyone with:
The flu shot lowers your chance of infection by less than 5%.

Yea, it only really helps when you get the flu... lessens symptoms and duration, I believe?

Inferno-Spirit
Sports Advocate
posted 05-01-2009 02:39:03 AM
quote:
Ares's account was hax0red to write:
Yea, it only really helps when you get the flu... lessens symptoms and duration, I believe?

In the study I read ("Cochrane Collaboration": combination of 25 clinical trials over 30 years) the flu vaccine didn't decrease the number of days individuals took off from work at all.

Some specific results:

"6% fewer vaccinated people got the flu, compared to the unvaccinated people"

"The influenza vaccine did not reduce the number of working days lost, nor did it reduce flu-related complications, deaths or hospitalizations."

"He lets the last Hungarian go, and he goes running. He waits until his wife and kids are in the ground and he goes after the rest of the mob. He kills their kids, he kills their wives, he kills their parents and their parents' friends. He burns down the houses they grew up in and the stores they work in, he kills people that owe them money. And like that he was gone. Underground. No one has ever seen him again. He becomes a myth, a spook story that criminals tell their kids at night. 'If you rat on your pop, Keyser Soze will get you.' And nobody really ever believes." - Roger 'Verbal' Kint, The Usual Suspects
Pvednes
Lynched
posted 05-01-2009 02:54:39 AM
quote:
Maradon!'s tombstone read:
I'm willing to bet another pizza that the swine flu doesn't amount to more deaths annually than the regular flu, which claims about 30,000 worldwide.

Swine flu's score for this year so far is 7 deaths worldwide, according to the world health organization, with verification on an eighth (the first US death) still pending.


I'm willing to bet you that the swine flu will kill more otherwise healthy adults of age 20 to 35 than the regular flu does worldwide.

Steven Steve
posted 05-01-2009 09:21:47 AM
I got some mystery illness at 10 AM yesterday, then by the time I went to sleep around 9 PM I was fully sick, but now I think I'm making a recovery
"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 05-01-2009 11:30:27 AM
quote:
Pvednes got served! Pvednes got served!
I'm willing to bet you that the swine flu will kill more otherwise healthy adults of age 20 to 35 than the regular flu does worldwide.

Cytokine storm?

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Liam
Swims in Erotic Circles
posted 05-01-2009 01:56:58 PM
we're alllll gonnnnaaaa dieeee
Pvednes
Lynched
posted 05-01-2009 02:28:43 PM
quote:
Upon learning of the existence of Natalie Portman's twin sister, Karnaj exlaimed:
Cytokine storm?

Them's the tickets.

Maradon!
posted 05-01-2009 06:14:59 PM
Rodent King
Stabbed in the Eye
posted 05-01-2009 10:06:41 PM
Avian Flu, Check.

Swine Flu, Check.

Going by this method, we should see a new strain of Mad-Cow disease, followed by Rabbit Fever, Serpent Plague, and Lamb Rash.

We're so fucked if it somehow skips back a year and we've got to deal with a dragon-based disease.


My inner child is bigger than my outer adult.
Steven Steve
posted 05-02-2009 02:13:36 PM
This could theoretically be birdmanpig flu anyway
"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

Liam
Swims in Erotic Circles
posted 05-02-2009 03:07:29 PM
oh you think your flu's hot shit eh

well check out my flu

Steven Steve
posted 05-02-2009 03:43:06 PM
It is now 50 hours since I first noticed symptoms of my illness. Yesterday I had a fever of 100.8 F. My body temperature is now back to normal and most symptoms seem to be gone.
"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

Number 1 Poster
posted 05-02-2009 04:47:33 PM
quote:
Steven Steve wrote this stupid crap:
It is now 50 hours since I first noticed symptoms of my illness. Yesterday I had a fever of 100.8 F. My body temperature is now back to normal and most symptoms seem to be gone.

Trojan Horse Flu

Number 1 Poster
posted 05-02-2009 09:12:16 PM
Man this avatar is so awesome.
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