What I need is this: Since her parents are not going to let her bloody well fly to New York to watch me get in a sword fight with a stalker, I need some people in the Metro-Atlanta area or whoever would be willing to get there if they're fairly close or whatever to pretend to be a friend of her's parents and say that your daughter (Daugher can be provided, either parent accepted) has invited ehr on a trip with their family.
What you get for this: My never-ending thanks, an ally whenever you need one, and whatever items of actual value I can scrounge up as payment. Specifics in this can be worked out after I get an idea of someone who may be willing via PM's and such. [ 12-21-2003: Message edited by: Zeke the Final Fencer ]
...yeah.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
There isn't even a response that justifies how fucked that was.
I mean, what the fuck are you ON :omgomg: [ 12-21-2003: Message edited by: Suddar ]
No, that's not going to convince me not to.
Yes, I am still in need of someone helpful.
First step is to get the police.
If the police don't do shit get a bunch of friends to beat the hell out of this "alpha male." Fair fights don't work in real life.
If you are being stalked by a man armed with the sword and the police can't do anything because he hasn't threatened you directly....
...do what you have to reasonably defend yourself. But work with the fucking police if you are being stalked by armed thugs.
Or they could "meet" in the north end of my neighborhood. If he is white, alone, gothed out, and openly carrying a sword, he'll leave in a bodybag or cuffs. [ 12-21-2003: Message edited by: diadem ]
Some cockbrained goth-vampire-wannabe idiot is lounging about in a dark alleyway
Zeke shows up wearing a highlander-esque trench coat, walking slowly toward the goth nutbag.
As he approaches, he draws his sword; gleaming steel in the darkness. The goth stands:
Melodramatic Goth: "It ends here."
Zeke: "Yes."
Just then, a dozen cops surround the goth, handcuff him, and give him an extremely invasive cavity search.
Goth wacko: "IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY! OOOOH MY LIFE IS MISERY."
quote:
Chief Durkin had this to say about Cuba:
Ok ok ok I've got a vision:Some cockbrained goth-vampire-wannabe idiot is lounging about in a dark alleyway
Zeke shows up wearing a highlander-esque trench coat, walking slowly toward the goth nutbag.
As he approaches, he draws his sword; gleaming steel in the darkness. The goth stands:
Melodramatic Goth: "It ends here."
Zeke: "Yes."
Just then, a dozen cops surround the goth, handcuff him, and give him an extremely invasive cavity search.
Goth wacko: "IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY! OOOOH MY LIFE IS MISERY."
I don't see how there are any other answers other than this.
Oh and also, ignoring it and hoping for the best is not an option. Since August they've been stalked by these drug-selling wannabe-vampires [ 12-21-2003: Message edited by: Zeke the Final Fencer ]
I know it'd be so much more fun to cut them into tiny pieces but it just doesn't work like that. This sounds more like some kind of LARP gone wrong than people who know what they're doing or who actually want to be menacing. I'd seriously hope you'd know better, if something like this really happened (outside of bad LSD trips and children lying on the internet), than to play along. People would only get hurt who didn't have to. Thankfully, things like this don't happen.
quote:
Zeke the Final Fencer enlisted the help of an infinite number of monkeys to write:
No, that's not going to convince me not to.
That's because you probably want to go off and valiantly swordfight some angsty "vampire" with a bad complexion in the name of your friend.
It's like a LARP, the only difference is one of you will probably get killed, and then the other will cry like a bitch when they realize what they've done and that forensic science will easily track your ass across the country, landing you in jail for a very long time. [ 12-21-2003: Message edited by: Chief Durkin ]
quote:
Chief Durkin had this to say about (_|_):
That's because you probably want to go off and valiantly swordfight some angsty "vampire" with a bad complexion in the name of your friend.It's like a LARP, the only difference is one of you will probably get killed, and then the other will cry like a bitch when they realize what they've done and that forensic science will easily track your ass across the country, landing you in jail for a very long time.
Precisely.
Report it, ignore it Dont bother to show up, but make sure the tickets they send you are refundable or exchangeable 
quote:
Zeke the Final Fencer had this to say about Robocop:
First off, they aren't any more armed than I. Second, I hate guns. Third, I like the cavity search idea. I may use that.Oh and also, ignoring it and hoping for the best is not an option. Since August they've been stalked by these drug-selling wannabe-vampires
I was unaware you were 11. That changes the scenario a bit, but makes it a little less wacked.
Step 1:
"Hello police, my friends are being threatened by drug dealers who are armed with swords."
Step 2:
???
Step 3:
Profit
And for the future fair fights get you shit. If you are going to mess around, mess around. If you are going to fight, fight to win.
[ 12-21-2003: Message edited by: diadem ]
edit: HUm.. you are 16.. you should know better by now.
edit2: By drugs do you mean something like pot or something like cocaine?
Of course that's unacceptable, because if I'm right you probably want a villain as much as they want to be angsty goth vampires (though they probably spell it "vampyre," angsty goth nutbags usually do)
quote:
Zeke the Final Fencer wrote this stupid crap:
Unfortunately this is indeed real. If a bunch of drug -addicted psychos screw with one of your closest friends -among others- handle it how you want but me? I'm heading for a face-to-face...also, I'm 16.
It was nice knowing you.
I'll play along and give you advice as if this were actually going down. If you go, somebody will be left to die, bleeding into a puddle all alone in the world, and it'll probably be you. I've never met a drug-addled vampire that fought fair.
edit: Re-read the first post.
1) Have you really me these people? Or is it just online?
2) Where did you meet them?
3) How do you know they are drugged up?
4) What's their beef with you?
[ 12-21-2003: Message edited by: diadem ]
Sounds more like you are talking to someone like Kekivate. 16 year old boy gets plane tickets to new york.... alone....
quote:
Verily, the chocolate bunny rabits doth run and play while diadem gently hums:
This can't be real. And if it is, he can't be this stupid.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
Set a date for it, have police on hand at the airport waiting for him when we're supposed to arrive, full cavity search- hard and deep - get refund on tickets, split cash.
quote:
There was much rejoicing when Zeke the Final Fencer said this:
OK having come to my senses and realized that yeah, I'm gonna get shot/run to Canada if this goes down, I have taken your ideas and combined them.Set a date for it, have police on hand at the airport waiting for him when we're supposed to arrive, full cavity search- hard and deep - get refund on tickets, split cash.
You sure you are 16 and not 11? What's your problem with calling the police and letting them take over? You could have done that already.
You sure you aren't insane? You sure you arenÂ’t taking a lot of pot or something and becoming real paranoid? You sure you aren't making a big deal out of a series of coincidences? You sure you aren't making this up so people will pay attention to you?
I have never met them up close but have spoken with some who have.
I know they're drug dealers because they've been caught trying to sell stuff.
Their beef with me is that I'm too blinded by attempting to be valiant and defending my friends against them.
And by drugs I mean the whole shebang.
Sure as fuck don't give a damn about whatever's going down with you and your coked-up assgrabbing friends.
It's not something people hear about.
quote:
Zeke the Final Fencer enlisted the help of an infinite number of monkeys to write:
Lie for the sake of drama? When have I lied on this board before? Not to mention I have plenty of drama IRL, especially in the relationship category.
quote:
I have never met them up close but have spoken with some who have.
quote:
I know they're drug dealers because they've been caught trying to sell stuff.
quote:
Their beef with me is that I'm too blinded by attempting to be valiant and defending my friends against them.
quote:
And by drugs I mean the whole shebang.
quote:
Everyone wondered WTF when Sean wrote:
Hell, I'd like to go to New York if somebody else is paying.
I'd sure love to be tricked to go to another place by a petofile pretending to be some villian and lose my anal verginity too! If the tickets ever arrive, this is the most likely scenario.
edit: FYI the "north end" bit was a comedy option. [ 12-21-2003: Message edited by: diadem ]
quote:
This one time, at diadem camp:
Let me get this scenario right. A bunch of armed people are stalking your friends. Similar to a gang they just happened to be gothed out and crazy and are armed with bulk sword (how the fuck do they conceal this?).First step is to get the police.
If the police don't do shit get a bunch of friends to beat the hell out of this "alpha male." Fair fights don't work in real life.
If you are being stalked by a man armed with the sword and the police can't do anything because he hasn't threatened you directly....
...do what you have to reasonably defend yourself. But work with the fucking police if you are being stalked by armed thugs.
Or they could "meet" in the north end of my neighborhood. If he is white, alone, gothed out, and openly carrying a sword, he'll leave in a bodybag or cuffs.
You can even get belt clips for those, so you can clip them inside your waistband.
Although it's quite disconcerting to have a gun pointed at your jewels all day.
Come on, Zeke. A swordfight? That's the lamest story I've heard since I told the one about my one night stand with Cindy Crawford.
Ooh, and you hate guns, too. Let me guess; orcs with guns killed your parents? Or maybe you despise them because they're the weapon of the peasantry. Oh, I know what it is! You're so skilled, you can block bullets with your sword! You've spent most of your 16 years training in the art of SharpMetalStickDo and NinjaYellJutsu that you need fear no firearm! You shall meet the heathen Goths upon the field of honor, and slay them with your superior kung fu!
Here's some advice for you, Zeke. You should stop breaking the pills in half in the morning.
A) I don't believe you. This is probably (90%) a made-up story to attempt to get attention.
B) If you do try that sort of shin-dig in real life, you wind up dead.
C) If you think that sort of thing is good, you deserve to wind up dead.
If this whole thing is real, just sic the cops on them and give it a rest. There's nothing an 11 year old can do.
quote:
Zeke the Final Fencer had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
Unfortunately this is indeed real. If a bunch of drug -addicted psychos screw with one of your closest friends -among others- handle it how you want but me? I'm heading for a face-to-face...also, I'm 16.
I hope you die just so this brand of stupidity can cease to exist. You're a fucking idiot.
Take your steel! Fight Valiantly! Live and die by the sword!
lol lol lol
Seriously.
I mean, come on. I know some of these kids get all into this vampire thing, and if they are taking drugs on top of it they are going to be way messed up, so man I am telling you.. get the cops involved. You aren't a vigilante hero that can take down some group of thugs with swords.
This thread calls for a tcha.
quote:
This insanity brought to you by Zeke the Final Fencer:
...long story short
So let me get this straight: You think that these drug dealing "Vampyres" who call themselves "The Wolves" are stalking your friends, but you have never actually seen them or talked to them, but have "Talked to those who have" *SCENE MISSING* The "Alpha Male" wants you to fly to New York with him ALONE, for a "Duel". And you haven't even told the police?
Just read that over to yourself several times....and think about it for a bit..
Why, in your right mind, do you thinkit's good for you to take the person being stalked, or whatever, into a sword fight?
In fact, an UNDERAGE person to a swordfight? It sounds like you've managed to pull yourself into some sort of 'Clan' effect, since there is no reason an online group would be 'stalking' several online friends of your unless you all hang out anyway.
You are asking one of us to do something that could get her killed. Anyone else see the issue? Fighting someone with a sword aside, you are taking someone to a place where the individuals will be armed. How do YOU know they will be all nice and honest and not have guns? Believe me, if they sell "all kinds" of drugs, or whatever, they aren't just going to be abiding by the rules and brigging a sword.
How did they get your addresses? If they are from all over the counrty, that means that one or some of you must have been stupid enopugh to give your addresses out on the internet.
Go to the fucking police. Don't try and be a hero - you will regret it. Chances are they are not gonna meet you on a "field of battle' - they will take you and your friend, steal all your money, possible rape you/hurt you, and throw your body into a holler, and no one will be any the wiser.
Get a clue.
I am all for defending my honor and the honor of my friends. But if somone actually tried to set up a situation like this I would laugh my ass off. Hell I could probably win a duel of this type against most people and I would not be caught dead taking part.
Call the fucking police. Give them the chat logs and have these idiots put in jail. Because otherwise it will be your ass that Bubba uses for a play thing.
The police arn't going to care why it happened or who started it. They are just going to see a couple crazy people going after each other with blades.
