EverCrest Message Forums
You are not logged in. Login or Register.
Author
Topic: GASP!
Evercrest News Network
This.... is ENN
posted 10-17-2003 11:46:40 AM
Letters form on the screen, spelling out M P W A N G. Below the lettering, a small artistic design of a knotted underline appears and then the whole screen fades away to reveal a rather large man sitting in a high-backed chair. Beside him is a computer screen situated on a small table. On the screen is what looks like an Everquest character select screen, with a female avatar spinning in place.

Falaanla: Greetings. I am Falaanla Marr. Yes, I'm male. Yes, I play female characters. I know that many of you have ideas about men who play female characters. But I also know there are many of you out there that enjoy playing female characters although you are male. It's to the latter that I send out this message.

The camera angle changes and zooms in closer as Falaanla turns his head to face the new angle and smiles.

Falaanla: Friends, there's nothing wrong with playing a female character. It does not mean you are homosexual. This doesn't mean being homosexual is wrong, it's just that people should not automatically make that assumption. There might be some out there that pretend to get free items and such, but there are those of us that just prefer to roleplay our characters as the opposite gender.

The screen shifts to a back-view shot of a young man playing a computer game, watching his character running from one place to another, also watching the character from behind. After a few moments, the screen switches back to Falaanla.

Falaanla: Added benefits are that it's definitely more pleasing to the eye to see a young strong woman shaking her booty on your screen than some strapping young male. Unless you're homosexual, which is perfectly okay. Stand strong in your desires to play female characters! Do not give in to oppressing male-male players! Call me today and join my organization. We have a newsletter!

The man flashes a winning smile as the number appears on the screen, followed by impossibly small text. After a few moments, the M P W A N G logo appears on the screen again, above his head.

Falaanla: Remember, Men Playing Women Are Not Gay. Good night and see you soon online!

The screen blanks out and returns with the spinning EC logo you know and love. Or hate. The music starts up again, this time hummed by someone unseen before switching to the the darkness of the anchors' desk. The silhouettes of Vorago and Terena can be seen shuffling papers and the like before the lights turn on and both of them face the camera.

Vorago: Good Morning, viewers! I hope you've all slept well because we've got some interesting news for you all today. One of our reporters has managed to make his way into the Gydfather's organization! I'm sure you'd all love to hear what he has to say.

Terena: Before that, we're gonna hear from Biff Demitri.

Vorago: Right-o! Take it away, Biff!

The screen shifts again to the familiar recliner with D sitting there in boxers and a stained wife-beater shirt.

D: Yo. Well, as you know, the Cubs lost the playoffs and the Yankees won. So basically, everyone wanted to see the Cubs and the Sox, but hey, GOD HATES YOU.

D scratches himself and looks offscreen.

D: Lashanna! Where's that beer? LASHANNA! WOMAN, WHERE ARE YOU?

D turns his head back to the screen and shrugs lazily.

D: Guess she went to the store to get more groceries or something. Anyway, that's sports. Now if you'll excuse me, I have Dead to Rights 2. Speaking of, why don't you guys let me review gam..

The screen switches back to the newsroom, cutting D off in mid-sentence. Vorago smiles nervously and is twiddling his thumbs.

Terena: Hey, look at the time.

Coughing Vorago: Oh, you're right! We'll have to get to our key story after a word from our sponsors. Don't leave your seat, we'll be right back!

The screen fades to black and spins up the EC logo, complete with some midi music.

To be continued!?!?

[ 10-17-2003: Message edited by: Evercrest News Network ]

NO ONE BREAKS NEWS LIKE WE DO!
Katrinity
Cookie Goddess!
posted 10-17-2003 11:48:19 AM
<claps> ^.^
Cookie Goddess Supreme
Furry Kitsune of Power!
Pouncer of the 12th degree!
"Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv'iornw hqxoxon targh!"
Translated: "Sell your soul for a cookie?"
Monica
I've got an owie on my head :(
posted 10-17-2003 11:50:14 AM
pfahahaha
Niklas
hay guys whats going on in this title?
posted 10-17-2003 11:56:17 AM

[edit: I keep hearing 'My name is Wang. M.P Wang' now.]

[ 10-17-2003: Message edited by: Niklas ]

Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 10-17-2003 12:18:12 PM
~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
Hostile Makeover
Evil as chocolate covered thistles
posted 10-17-2003 12:28:52 PM
JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 10-17-2003 12:33:38 PM
quote:
Everyone wondered WTF when Xyrra wrote:

That smilie is hideous.

I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Vorago
A completely different kind of Buckethead
posted 10-17-2003 01:47:13 PM
Mightion Defensor
posted 10-17-2003 01:51:25 PM
More!
BeauChan
Objects in sigpic may be hammier than they appear
posted 10-17-2003 01:59:39 PM
harrrhar
Endured by EC for over 7 years and counting...
Hostile Makeover
Evil as chocolate covered thistles
posted 10-17-2003 03:09:51 PM
quote:
So quoth JooJooFlop:
That smilie is hideous.

I know. Simply too lazy to find a better one

Trent
Smurfberry Moneyshot
posted 10-17-2003 03:50:41 PM
Excellent work again.

D's sports news never fails to make me laugh.

Falaanla Marr
I AM HOT CHIX
posted 10-17-2003 04:02:21 PM
Jajahotep
Vader to Deth's Obi-wan
posted 10-17-2003 04:47:02 PM
MORE!

Burger
BANNED!
posted 10-17-2003 08:20:48 PM
huuuuhuhuh, he said "wang"

yeah! YEAH! "wang"


good story, I like D.

Bite me.

No, Really. Bite me.

All times are US/Eastern
Hop To: