Do you or did you keep any RP logs that you look back on after a while and smack your forehead wondering what in the hell you were thinking? Do you ever look back on old character concepts and wish you had a character sheet just so you could burn it and rid yourself of the horrible, horrible idea? Don't do that! TELL MEEEEE!

Heh, I remember a looooong while ago I had a character who was a halfdrake (think midget draconian with more human features) who got into this Love Triangle From Hell. Me, a dragon, and a draconian. It got extremely, EXTREMELY cheesy. I uttered the worst quote ever. This thing is eternally burned into my brain; I cannot forget it.

"I... don't know, it's like you two are past visions of the past rising from the past to claim my future."

*smacks forehead*

Now share, so I don't feel so embarassed.

[ 01-30-2003: Message edited by: Nicole ]

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Check out the big brain on The leckie!
You can talk, Mr "My parents were killed by orcs"

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wow....his two....i thoguht iw as the only one and i was being all creative

So, during the session, I balanced on one foot for 10 minutes to get into the "right mindset". It took them 4 hours to work me in, which for someone who's never seen the game played is a long time. By an hour after that, we had gone to a cave (the group was clearing out the cave so they could hide runaway slaves in it). The group killed a few umberhulks, yelled at my character (the only one in the group without infravision) for pulling a glowing stone (which they'd lent him earlier) out of the ground (where the umberhulks had pounded it in, because they hated light) and temporarily blinding the rest of the group in the process, went deeper into the cave, killed more umberhulks (this time my character was more careful about retrieving his light stone), and found some tucked-away treasure. The party swashbuckler (who had better luck with dice rolls than Abbi & Pved put together) rolled. He got a pair of +3 rapiers, so I started asking him about giving my character his +1 bastard sword (which I had specialized in, and was wielding a non-magic one). After a minute or two, he gave in. As the group reached the last passage in the cave, they found a hydra (trapped because it couldn't fit through the passage leading to its large chamber). Then the GM reminds the thief that the +1 bastard sword was +4 vs regenerating, so he starts asking for the bastard sword back. I didn't give it to him (roleplay mistake #1 on my part). So we confronted the creature, and during the process is attacked my brother's character for casting fire spells at it. He got down below 0hp. So my character started making his way over from attacking the hydra body to use Lay On Hands (roleplay mistake #2, my character should have been too absorbed in combat to notice). Since he's no longer near the body, my character starts attacking the heads, as did a few other characters in the group from various places (the party fighter got pinned with her back to the wall by five heads). Eventually, the creature died.

My brother had apparently also forgotten to tell me that I was only invited for one session, while one of the other players was away on vacation (he knew this, just forgot to tell me). I found out a week later, when they told me the group had ditched my character, because he whined that they should give all their spoils of battle to charity. Mind you, I hadn't been there to roleplay the whining, and wasn't happy about having my character manipulated. My brother decided to tell the whole group how displeased I was, at which point I was marked "banned for life" from that gaming group, and one of its members (who played the thief with the lucky dice) had declared me a "kill on sight" target.

I have never roleplayed that badly again, and eventually came to the conclusion that I shouldn't play a deity-devoted class (cleric/paladin) if doing so could at all be avoided. Though the reason for such a broad restriction comes partly from another RP experience, which I'll save for a later post.

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The party swashbuckler (who had better luck with dice rolls than Abbi & Pved put together) rolled. He got a pair of +3 rapiers, so I started asking him about giving my character his +1 bastard sword (which I had specialized in, and was wielding a non-magic one).

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That particular swashbuckler wasn't lucky, it should probably be noted. He just cheated more than any person I've seen in a game ever.

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My brother had apparently also forgotten to tell me that I was only invited for one session, while one of the other players was away on vacation (he knew this, just forgot to tell me). I found out a week later, when they told me the group had ditched my character, because he whined that they should give all their spoils of battle to charity. Mind you, I hadn't been there to roleplay the whining, and wasn't happy about having my character manipulated.

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You weren't "whiny" lol, you were lawful good... and your lawful good character trying to be charitable with our party's copper and silver didn't impress the chaotic neutralish members among us.

What your character did was a very paladinesque thing to do... we just happened to be loot whores at the time. (Especially me, being the mercenary of the group!)

I can see how it looked from your perspective tho, being new to D&D, and I'm sorry you didn't have a fun time.

Jon's game is fun for the main gaming group, not so fun for the one-shots.

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How.... Drakkenmaw.... uughhhhhh:
Paladin: I want to climb the wall.
DM: You want to climb a 20 foot wall in full plate mail armor?
Paladin: And I want to be quiet about it.
DM: OK, make your checks. What about your warhorse?
Paladin: Are there any catapults nearby?
DM: In the armory...
Paladin (to the Rogue): You know what to do.

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I'd let that go because it's hilarious

I was goofing off and playing a snow faerie (staaay frosty!), and had gotten drunk and passed out on top of a rather volatile war wizard's head. I was drunk, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyway, ten minutes after I black out, this annoying guy challenges said wizard to a duel, he accepts, and the first spell the wizard casts? Yep, fireball . Not only did it knock me off his head, I fell RIGHT into the path of the ball, and fell to earth as drops of water .

One of the shortest-lived characters I've ever had: As a merchant-bard-rogue-annoying person with clawgloves, I was hanging out in the marketplace and sat on the awning of another merchant. He generally didn't mind, until I handed a friend a bottle of beer I had in my pack. He thought I was conducting business on his property, and sent his men to deal with me. His giant, half-ogre men, with spiked clubs.

Also, there was the time I sat on an alchemist's lab table and broke it, sending vials of stuff crashing down on top of my head and turning myself into a sentient stained class window. I could move about and stuff, I was just a picture in a window, and couldn't get out .

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Nicole Model 2000 was programmed to say:
Also, there was the time I sat on an alchemist's lab table and broke it, sending vials of stuff crashing down on top of my head and turning myself into a sentient stained class window. I could move about and stuff, I was just a picture in a window, and couldn't get out .

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Reboot?

Why do people in EverQuest run around saying "aye" instead of "yes"? Even hard core powergamers say "aye."

Displacer beast

*runs away cackling*

"Verily, a parley with the incoming mob would aid in getting his ass off the wizzie."

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Lyinar Ka`Bael thought this was the Ricky Martin Fan Club Forum and wrote:
*eyes Deth*

Displacer beast

*runs away cackling*

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LOUSY PIECE OF SHIT RANDOM DICE ROLLING STUPID DISPLACER BEAST PIDDLY ASS

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Nobody really understood why Mr. Glass wrote:
"Verily, a parley with the incoming mob would aid in getting his ass off the wizzie."

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That's going to be my new "Pull the mob off the X" member of the group message.

I hung out in a RP room on Efnet called VampCastle. There was this race of dragon beings (fuck if I can remember the name, do you remember what Shaithus and Alu and Alyosha called themselves, Deth?) and they were like all-powerful and badass and shit.

For some ungodly reason you could become this dragon being by vampiric means, one of them sucking you dry and then you bite em yourself, embracing, etc, whatever you wanna call it.

I had a character, my character Talera's daughter Julianna. She was British. She was an attorney. And somehow this caught the eye of the head honcho dragon being thing.

He decided he wanted to make Juli his childer. So, rather than asking her, he uses his all-powerful powers to stick her in this huge glass jar in the middle of the room. And he made her stay there until she agreed to become his childer.

Now, I know, you're saying I could just break out or whatnot. But this character wasn't a magic user. Wasn't even really anything special. So I wanted to be a good RPer and I went along with it.

I still play her sometime. But I seriously downplay the dragon powers. They're more a quirk than a way for me to exploit things.

Those two were really insufferable with that Triforian dragon crap. It was to the point that most of the other regulars in the FFRP channel were organizing a response to them when they just spontaneously went away. Most irritating powergamed godmoding characters ever.

GM (me): You enter the deep jungle... its hard to see a foot in front of you. As you all move silent [they were all part thief], the sounds of the forest get louder.

<GM rolls some dice to check for encounters.>

GM: Guys, I need a marching order.

Priest: Um... guys, we're not standing in fireball formation right?

Figter/thief: Of course not, I'm up front scouting.

GM: How far up Kevin?

F/T: Um... not far.

<GM nods slowly.>

GM: You don't see the party around you, you seem to have lost them in the very thick bush.

F/T: Ok, I'll backtrack.

GM: Do you have direction sense?

F/T: ....

GM: Right then. <rolls a d8> You backtrack about the distance you thought you were ahead, but they aren't there.

Thief/Mage: So we can't see Kevin?

GM: Nope.

T/M: I go looking for him.

GM: Do YOU have direction sense?

T/M: ....

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Lyinar Ka`Bael stopped beating up furries long enough to write:
Are you sure it was that? I thought they had another name, too.

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Might have. But that's the name Alu kept going on about. Was his explanation why no one could do anything about any situation he was involved in.

Alu: "I'm a triforian dragon and our powers are absolute"

Karl: "Yeah absolutely fucked up."

Adam: "Word."

Well our (Lyinar and my) native FFRP setting had some moments. But it was pretty much the standard FFRP traits. You had the DBZ style people who kept getting more and more powerful, the artsy angsty sorts who died every other night and kept making new characters, the characters based on fight game peeps (seen half a dozen Ryu or Akuma ripoffs in my day), etc.

But let's see...some actual game messed up moments...

1. Playing a "Vampire: the Masquerade" game with a bunch of 13-15 year olds when I was 17. Yeah. That was bad...especially when a chase scene ensued using stolen cars, and the Malkavian wanted to Obfuscate this stolen ferrari he was buzzing around in (on the other hand, the Ventrue accountant trying to shoot a tommy gun from the sidecar of a motorcycle driven by a Gangrel with zippo piloting ability was funny)

2. Multi-WoD game...a werewolf, a vampire, and two mages. Oi vey. Most WoD games aren't meant to interact with the others on equal footing. It became a regular "joke" between the two mages to uber-coincidental-magick their guns (Sons of Ether) and blow off parts of the werewolf's anatomy (can just hold it back in place and it'll regenerate back on) off to incite/halt a frenzy.

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From the book of Frog, chapter 3, verse 16:
I've never roleplayed, so I have nothing to share on that note, but speaking of bad wannabe RP..

Why do people in EverQuest run around saying "aye" instead of "yes"? Even hard core powergamers say "aye."

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I do say "aye" but it's a British dialect.

"I throw open the door and leap in, weapons ready!"
"Okay then. You're in a dim, square room, in the middle of which stands an iron golem."
"...I... um, leave and close the door."
"Roll for initiative, asshat."

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This one time, at Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael camp:

Well our (Lyinar and my) native FFRP setting had some moments. But it was pretty much the standard FFRP traits. You had the DBZ style people who kept getting more and more powerful, the artsy angsty sorts who died every other night and kept making new characters, the characters based on fight game peeps (seen half a dozen Ryu or Akuma ripoffs in my day), etc.

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Heh, I remember FFRPING in a room like that, the people that died all the time were hillarious

Sorceror Player (Tom): "...Say, how exactly does Mage Hand function as a spell?"

M: "Erm... well, like the name says. It is a small hand-like force that can apply five pounds of force to something."

T: "So... is it actually hand-shaped?"

M: "Uh... I suppose so, sure."

T: "I sneak around to the side of the cavern to get a good look at the manticore."

M: *Rolls* "Alright, you're now pressed against the side of the cave wall, just behind the manticore's head. It growls softly in its sleep, and moves slightly. Now what?"

T: "Well, I look at the manticore. Is it male?"

M: "Um, sure. It's male. Why?"

T: "How high is the cavern ceiling above the manticore?"

M: *Grumble* "About... 35 feet. Look, does this have a point?"

T: "It will if there are some loose, approximately 5-pound rocks in the room."

M: "What? A 5-pound weight won't do any appreciable damage to the Manticore at all."

T: "Not permanent, maybe. All we need is a distraction, though. Something to keep it busy until we can get out and into the woods. Have you ever taken a baseball to the groin?"

M: "...Right, that's it - Time Jump. You win this encounter, and make it safely into the forest. Because I am *NOT* going any further into that plan than what you just suggested. Don't expect any experience from it."

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Drakkenmaw had this to say about dark elf butts:
Freakin Funny crap!

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That was great.

Mwahahahah...

"You're standing in front of a dungeon. What do you do?"

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And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Drakkenmaw was all like:
M: "Um, sure. It's male. Why?"

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T: "Is it male?"
M: "You can't tell at this range. Would you like to take an even closer look?"

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Ford Prefect had this to say about Cuba:
He should've gone with the obvious zork-like answer:

T: "Is it male?"
M: "You can't tell at this range. Would you like to take an even closer look?"[/QB]

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A grue eats your face.

People doing impossible backflips while doing attacks that challenge the length of many of my 3rd grade essays. >_>

Some of the better bits, I think, are:

Max scans over his character sheet.

Max: Man, I wish I knew what some of these powers did.

Mark: Uh. How about the "run" power?
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The British vampire who has been torn in half: Say...I don't suppose you chaps would happen to know the combination to that safe over there?

Justin: YES. It's 1-2-3-4-5-6-7.

British Vampire: Thank you my good man. (He starts to crawl over to it, leaving a bloody trail behind him.)

Justin: I shoot him.

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The adventure begins...

Jim: Alright you're in a bar surprisingly enough...

Erik: I thought we were doing a dungeon adventure.

Jim: You start in a bar like every adventure Erik!

Erik: Okay I go to the shady character.

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The Don: Back in the days, we used to call Kevin, "Kevin-Kevin." That's because he used to say everything twice.

want more of our shinanigans?

A more thorough list of stuff.

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Ford Prefect impressed everyone with:
M: "Um, sure. It's male. Why?"Personally, I would've found the whole scene hillarious, and he would've gotten XP for creativity if he pulled it off. Nonetheless, if your GM wanted to prevent what happened, he should've gone with the obvious zork-like answer:

T: "Is it male?"
M: "You can't tell at this range. Would you like to take an even closer look?"

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Mario really likes to promote unorthodox spell-usage. However, I think his patience on that campaign-period was running low for reproductive-organ-related activities. He'd already had the cleric of rogues, and the rogue itself, try to sneak glimpses of some fountain-maidens bathing in one of the underwater streams... and then, when they succeeded, asking for a description of the event in arduous detail.

That little escapade brought about a quick encounter with some temple guards with surprisingly quiet footsteps, which was why everyone was SNEAKING out of the underpass in the first place.

[ 01-31-2003: Message edited by: Drakkenmaw ]

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Nicole thought this was the Ricky Martin Fan Club Forum and wrote:
"I... don't know, it's like you two are past visions of the past rising from the past to claim my future."

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Nothing in this thread tops this.

[ 01-31-2003: Message edited by: Delyl Caledor ]

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Drakkenmaw thought this was the Ricky Martin Fan Club Forum and wrote:
Mario really likes to promote unorthodox spell-usage. However, I think his patience on that campaign-period was running low for reproductive-organ-related activities. He'd already had the cleric of rogues, and the rogue itself, try to sneak glimpses of some fountain-maidens bathing in one of the underwater streams... and then, when they succeeded, asking for a description of the event in arduous detail.

That little escapade brought about a quick encounter with some temple guards with surprisingly quiet footsteps, which was why everyone was SNEAKING out of the underpass in the first place.

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I try to encourage a more cinematic approach to things. I don't mind if a hero wizard uses a spell in a clever manner to handle something, for instance. But if they're doing that for every...single...situations...to the exclusion...of everyone else... Then I get irritated. It slows everything down for what amounts to one character showboating.

Sometimes the proper response for a wizard really IS to cast magic missile at the darkness.

...

How about you let -them- decide, eh?